Reviews for Side Effect |
---|
Guest chapter 1 . 8/15/2018 Love it! |
Langas chapter 1 . 2/9/2018 Great story. |
armysugakookie chapter 1 . 11/10/2013 how cute! |
Guest chapter 1 . 12/21/2012 WTF is this |
Guest chapter 1 . 11/14/2012 Make more story of side effect |
Black Wolf Zombie chapter 1 . 4/16/2012 It was an ok story, not too many details but enough. Your idea was pretty original and funny XD But for the less fun part... your grammar really needs some revising, you should get a beta reader. Some verbs are incorrectly conjugated, you change from pass tense to present out of nowhere (not that much of a problem but it's not professional), a lot of words weren't written the right way (a few examples: in tell until, load/loader loud/louder, puny tail ponytail,through threw, cellar collar,pleaser pleasure (that was very often),there their etc.) Kimimaru is not his name. Anyway, good luck in the future :) |
somthing chapter 1 . 8/7/2009 What happened when temari showed up? |
Frocck chapter 1 . 7/30/2009 *Blushing* wow! *blushing still* that was... *Still blushing* HOT! |
Kagome-Loves-Kouga chapter 1 . 4/17/2009 Yo! it's Scarlett from the bus! how are ya, Jay? I'm gonna read the sequel to this...kukuku this is great! augh, gotta go read it then get back to updating! Ja Ne, Scarlett. |
Gaara'sGirl01 chapter 1 . 3/25/2009 Ok That was different. But I like it with more details about the sex. |
Haraio chapter 1 . 10/25/2008 Okay, let's do this. I will take the bad things first: Firstly, you switch quite a bit between present and past tense, to the point where one sentence says "they were", then the next sentence says "they are". It's not a disaster, but it kinda messes up the flow of the story. Nothing that can't be fixed by a good beta reader, though A beta reader could also fix the few spelling mistakes in this text Now, for the good parts. Firstly, that was a pretty hot lemon scene, and I love how you made their conversation flow naturally (something I struggle a bit with). Secondly, there's a bit of orginality here, with the side effect of the curse mark. And thirdly, it's Tayuya _ And we all know Tayuya rocks. Hope to see more of this Haraio |
Hana13 chapter 1 . 10/5/2008 Shika and Tayuya sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! |
Lord-Strath chapter 1 . 9/30/2008 Nice story, hope to see more...though not for this one since it is completed...and my only question is when Temari got there were they STILL naked XD? |
Agent kamizuki chapter 1 . 9/26/2008 AWESOME! I LIKE IT! |
shikatayu chapter 1 . 9/22/2008 Not bad.I love SHIKAMARU AND TAYUYA!Please write more storys about them. |