I really like this.

Perfect. Utterly perfect.

Yes... just, Absolutely... Yes. This broke my heart, 'cause I've been saying some mangled form of this ever since the season finale. Sam without a Dean-filter can only end badly.

Kicking Hell and Heaven's ass to save his brother. How poignant. What a wonderfully eloquent story. You did a terrific job with this. I am going to check out other stories you have written.

This was amazing and the loss is so palpable, the despair so physical in its presence throughout the story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You can feel Sam's darkness shadowing over him as he loses his humanity and will, allowing his own kind of vengeance to creep into his reason. His loss of faith in good is heartbreaking and that prayer had me sobbing. Awesome work.

Fav. parts:

The guns had been neglected, forgotten as the desperation and fear had grown. But now he was remembering what Dad had taught him, what Dean had taught him. Never let your weapons fall into disrepair; they’re your first and last line of defense.

- WONDERFUL!

His hands moved automatically. Not with quite the swift skill that Dean had—used to have—it had been a long time since he had done it, Dean generally shouldering the task, but it had been hammered into him enough that his muscles and nerves knew the way.

- I loved that Sam acknowledged Dean's skill.

The cold, empty, terrible Deanless present.

- Great line!

Even after Jess, devastating as that had been, there had been Dean.

- A great parallel to the earlier statement.

He had promised to save his brother. And he had failed. Failed Dean in the one thing he had ever promised him. All his supposed smarts, all that research he was supposed to be so good at, meant nothing in the end.

- such despair! sniffle!

Fiercely, fervently, desperately. Day and night. Please, there isn’t anything I won’t do if You ask me to. Dean doesn’t deserve this. He’s always been one of Yours, a fighter for good. He’s sacrificed everything, for Dad, for me, for all those helpless innocent people out there being preyed on in the dark. And he never asked for anything for himself. Please.

- This was my ABSOLUTE favorite! It's so true and how I've always viewed Dean to be. It's a wonderful encapsulation of Dean as a warrior and as a man! I LOVE IT!

Somewhere deep inside him, he could feel something stirring, power searching for release, seeking to fill the terrible emptiness. It whispered to him, both seductive and demanding. I can help you. We can rescue Dean together, even out of Hell. We can make them both pay, Lilith and your faithless God.

-*shivers

And he listened. Because the only other voice he would have listened to had been stilled by the viciousness of Hell and the indifference of Heaven. Dean had been his strength and his shield. Dean had not believed in God or angels, but he had believed that Sam was good and worthy and strong enough to push away the evil gifted to him when he was six months old.

We were both wrong in our faith, Dean. God isn’t what I thought He was, and I’m not what you thought I was. Without you…I feel myself slipping, nodding my head when that voice whispers to me.

-AMAZING and AWESOME!

Just a wonderful job! I loved reading every word.

I agree with you, I would think his thoughts on faith must have changed. I enjoyed the story. I loved the line "College boy with his Philosophy 101 semester under his belt understood the essence of faith." well written

What a great short story.

I have also wondered if Sam's beliefs will have changed, since God didn't save Dean and neither did Sam.

Why did Sam's 'power' protect him and not kick in a couple of minutes sooner to save Dean?

You did an excellent job of writing Sam as tried to deal with Dean's death.

I loved the last couple of lines, '...he would send Dean on to some place where Dean could find the peace that had been denied him in life. And then he would kick Hell’s ass...And Heaven’s, too.

I'll admit I got really depressed with season three's finale and also in the end, angry at Sam for not saving Dean after all of his promises.

Now I actually hope that when Dean finds a way out, (because of course he has too) Sam has nothing to do with it.

Thanks for sharing your stories with us.

Until next time, take care.

i really loved this sam's prespective on losing his brother, its so sad i really loved how he prayed for dean and then bringing up all the yed's promises in compared to not getting any help for dean, it was heartbreaking but so amazing

Great job. Catch ya on the flip side.

great story much more potenital than one chapter hope you do sequel like sam is possed and dean escapes hell to save his brother

I really liked this. I imagine that Sam's feelings are mixed. On the one hand, he would love to tap into his new powers to release Dean from Hell; on the other hand, he knows that Dean tried so hard to keep him safe and away from evil, that using the powers would be a betrayal. Damned if you do and damned if you don't...

This is the first story I've read that addresses the fact that Sam's powers kicked in to save himself, but not to save Dean. I can't even imagine what that did to him, wondering why they didn't surface two minutes earlier to save them both. Your take is interesting, that Sam would consider himself a "coward".

The faith issue in Supernatural is always fascinating. At this juncture, I imagine that Sam has none. Loved this line: "Azazel would have given him the world. God would not even give him his brother." It truly would be a strong temptation to give into the darkness, to let the evil surface to serve his purpose. Your description of the "deadly laughter" and "red fire" chilled me to the bone. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and this gem with us. Until next time...

So heartbreaking (and very understandable) to see Sam lose his faith. I could totally see this as canon. Lovely job, as always!

I think you're right - I don't see Sam still being the one to "pray every day" after what happened to Dean. I guess it all depends on what finally gets Dean out of Hell - Sam listening to his "inner demon" or something a bit more "Heavenly"...

I really do love how you charted Sam's slow loss of faith through this story. If Mystery Spot was a warning of what Sam could become without Dean, you've got to remember that to Sam that six months actually happened - they weren't erased as they were for Dean - so he's already had six months to get into that Deanless mindset. That isn't going to have disappeared just like that when the Trickster gave him his brother back. So he's already going to be a lot darker than he was at the beginning of season 3. All of Ruby's taunts that Sam had it within him to kill Lilith and save Dean and then Lilith not actually being able to kill Sam - all of that is going to influence him into listening to that little piece of fallen angel inside himself...

Hmm... Season 4 is going to be mighty interesting. Just hope it's as interesting as this fic!

I'd think they would have changed, too. Poor boy! He did an amazing job this last season, but to no avail. I'm anxious to see how this next one plays out.

I can see him going after Hell's ass. :-) Nice visual. LOL

Nice little fic. ;-)

You know i can see sam thinking this way. After everything dean's done, you'd think that Heaven or a higher power would wanna keep him outta hell. Oh well, i suppose we'll find out who helped dean in 2 weeks! lol

Wonderful,thought provoking story. So good infact i have to now go and read the rest of your stories. ;-)