Arrrgh! No, it can't stop here!

So much suspense!

you're an amazing writer, I am completely enthralled by your work.

I'd love to see move of your stuff and would absolutely love to see more of this fic in particular!

xxx

no no no this cant be the last chapter! it's amazing! you cant leave something like this like that!

This was so good! And then you just stopped...

Eeep! It's probably a cliche in this fandom to call someone a juicy dangler, but I'm going to do it anyway, you juicy dangler you. How could you stop it there? I realize that it's been more than a year, and I noticed you have other unfinished fic, too, so I don't have much hope for finding out the end, but all the same... please?

I felt this fic was really shaping up well. The suspense was fantastic, and the pacing was great - things were creepy without being explicitly worrisome - for example, the descriptions of the toys scattered in the rooms and the dishes left on the table (and the overturned desk with nail marks!) set a deliciously uneasy mood.

In regards to the comment below, I do agree that Vince's fear seemed over the top, but then again Howard noticed that, too, so I began to suspect that Vince is perhaps picking up on the anger or fear of the past victims, or some other bad juju. So I felt that Howard's acknowledgment of Vince's uncharacteristic fear was enough for me to wait for a further explanation. I will admit that I did wonder at Vince feeling that woods are creepy, considering his childhood.

As for Howard's relative lack of fear... well, in the show, Howard is generally cowardly when it's funny for him to be a coward. When the joke requires a character who isn't immobilized with fear, then he's usually fine. Like in 'The Hitcher', when the joke requires Howard to calmly request some slap bass as a dying wish, he isn't doing his usual 'please don't kill me' routine. So in a story set in a completely different genre, where characters have to act more human in order for the tone and plot to work, I do expect less extremes from the characters. I mean, It's implied in 'The Chokes' that Vince hired Bollo and Naboo to kill a man just so he could get in a band. A similar joke in a humor fic would be in character, but playing it straight in an angst fic would feel OOC.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that your characterizations in this fic worked for me, except for the bit about the woods. And that I'd have your children if you continued this.

Wowzas! This amazed me so much it caused me to use a word as cheesy as Wowzas. XD

Really creepy and spooky. You seriously know how to write tension and excitement well, I'm surprised you don't write more of it, though 'Witness' was also very well written this way. I really wish you'd update this, it's nail-bitingly amazing. I can't believe you just left it at that! Talk about torturing your faithful readers. :P

One teeny tiny criticism I do have and this also applies to 'Witness' and some others as well is that your Howard and Vince are a tad off-character. I get that both times they're in a scary situation but you write Vince as a scared, emotionally-fragile damsel instead of the resilient, brave but dim hero he just naturally is and Howard becoming the rock of the pair. Even when put in these sort of situations, I can't see their characters changing so much with Vince losing ALL his confidence and Howard becoming the brave one for no reason - they get in similar situations all the time in the show. Also applies with Vince being "afraid of woods"...Uhm, he was raised in a forest. ;) I know lots don't like to accept that as canon but you see him fine when he's alone in the woods in 'Hitcher'.

Small point but I think it's important to mention if you do plan on writing anymore (which I really hope you do, you've got some amazing stories here - FLTNY is just film worthy!).

Please keep updating this, it is an absolutely beauty!

I haven't been so captivated in a FF for a long time, I'll tell ya

Well done!

Oh, please, PLEASE update soon! You are amazing at writing horror and suspense. Reading this at 4 in the morning...Oh please update soon!

ME LIKE ALOT! This is so original, it is classic!

The van breaks down...

They shelter in a house...

It raining...

Their not alone!

This gave me the heebie jeebies! You are destined to write the dark side of the Boosh my friend! Update, I was like 'NO! What happens!'

Keep writing! This is gold!

ah, the atmosphere in this is brilliantly done. very well written etc.

halfway through reading this chapter my brother came up behind me put his hands on my shoulders and said "boo", i actually jumped out of my seat :s

looking forward to more :D

wow this us getting tenser and tenser every chapter loving this so far

:O You, misy! You can't just leave it there - it's crueel!

The atmos and everything in this was just fang-tastic (see what I did there? Eh... halloween soo - no?.. ok *hangs head*) I really do love this, gret thing for when my net came back! :D I love the relationship between the boys in this - utterly gorgeous! :D And the way Howards protecting Vince is soo - sweet :D I'm worried about Vince's health though, you where saying about how Howard was worried about his mental health and stuff and that made me go 'oh noo! don't go crazy cat lady on us now boy!" *turned momentarily into a) the spirits of Jazz or b) The Hitcher.

So yeeah! I love this, and the end - the writing on the wall, my blood froze I was like :O I felt scared I ctually did - and this is me whose always reading this kinda stuff, worse.

AND!

The last lines, omg no! VINCE HOWARD BEHIND YOU!

lookin' forward to soo much more love! :D

love you

xx

ZOMG! :o *gasp*

Each chapter is more suspenseful than the last, and Howard being all protective of Vince is so sweet, it balances it out. Can't wait for the next part! :D

x

This is great!

But I'm all scared now, and I'm home alone :P

Howard and Vince cuddling up in quilts/duvets was really cute, but it sort of lulled me into a false sense of security, because the blood on the walls caught me off guard and I made a lot of high pitched squealing noises. Oh! and the window breaking, it sounds to me liek they're pretty much surrounded.

I hope they actually survive this, now I know that the couple in the film die :P

Please, please, please update this soon! I love it :D

Becky

xx

Brilliant. I'm glad I read it in the daytime or I wouldn't have wanted to go up the stairs alone! Please write more soon. ]

Oh my god! How dare you leave it there! XD

The atmosphere you've set is just amazing, the writing picks up speed at the most perfect times and slows itself down too which is really effective in a creepy horror story. The parts with the blood on the wall seriously got my eyes widened and my breath held like a proper horror story should!

And the Vince and Howard relationship is very very sweet in this, in parts it's like a father protecting his son but then in other parts it becomes something entirely different almost on the point of a relationship, either way it's very adorable.

The gun scene made me smile a little :) and a few lines they came out with like the one about shaking like a washing machine on spin x) Little lines like that sort of break the tension for a bit and relax the reader. It's sort of like in a sad film when you get little bits that are funny the whole tragedy at the end seems so much more sad. Unless that's just me!

Anyway I'll stop spamming your review page and *try* to sit patiently and wait for the next chapter :D

xx