Ron saying to Kim you did say that you are all alone in your house right and want me to come over Kim hissing saying to Ron yes and don t worry i will not not say anything if you don t now come let s go to bed

This poor one, a day late and a dollar short, figuratively speaking, arrives to this story of yours. It is with some irony that this story was posted in what would prove to be the closing weeks of my marriage. Several thoughts present themselves; on a literary level, this story is well-written, if a little (I struggle how to phrase it) vehement (am not happy with my word choice; a more suitable adjective eludes me.)

I myself often weigh whether to be florid and emotional, like Charles Dickens and other 19th century writers, or more detached, less passionate, like more modern writers. I usually elect to be florid; I like a sentence with a flock of adjectives.

Another thought; there's a real ideological gulf among the KP fandom on Ron's aptness as a partner for Kim. Those who say he is'nt apt usually tout Shego as the logical alternative; the most articilate proponent I can think of is our estimable fellow fan-author, Love-Robin. She sums up her rationale quite nicely in a recent DeviantArt journal post, "You No Like-a Ron?" She's the first to acknowledge how the writers sort of dumbed down Ron for the 4th season. All this leads to the question as to whether this portrayal of our Ron is OOC; there are those who can take the better angels of his behavior as portrayed in the series and make it believable; chief among them is Mr Dr P (the fan-author) In fact, there are several websites that critique fan-stories, and he is widely held to be the one who can write a story that most sounds like an episode of the show. There are also those who bring to their portrayal of Ron an amound of admitted OCC'ness. The one most prominent in my head is my man Sentinel 103, who brings to incorporates his own background in the armed forces; he makes Ron a bad-assed Army Ranger; his stories are not as polished as some others; but that's not his forte; one does not, for example, read E E Cummings for his proper grammer and punctuation.

I should insert a caveat as to why I might sound so relatively unsparing. It's 'cause you got the chops; I put you in that rarified strata like Michael Howard, Molloy, Mr. Wizard, Mattk, etc, who actually write like true published pros; moi doesn't have to review your stories with kid gloves; for the record, I'm not in that stratum.

And the final point; on the previous two points, I waffled somewhat; on this one, I don't. In the spirit of Dante and his adoration for Beatrice, of Quixote and his adoration for Dulcinea (which I harp on in both print and speech at any oportunity I can) I give you my unstinting, hands-down approval of this tale; after having read Tito Mosquito's (there's a word I want to use, and it's not a four-letter one; I refrain only because of civility, and because I myself have a story where I subject our Heroine to the most unspeakable ordeals...with a view, I may add, to an eventual resolution that Tito did not.)

...As I was saying, after having read the afformentioned story, I was incensed. But you stepped up. My man Molloy and I converse at length about what is proper treatment of a fictional female; he's a man of passionate sentiments on that issue; he feels it's a moral imperative tantamount to treating real women with kindness, courtesy, and chivalry.

Have I rambled on enough? Too much? (probably the latter)

A intresting twist/ story man/ Another great 1 tho. When I was reading I was sitting wondering who in the worls was gonna rescue Kim and how. That's how real the b eginning was 4 me.

That was quite a scary story,

Even though it was only a nightmare, the terror really haunts Kim. Fortunately Ron is there to help her through this. And fortunately he was there to rescue her then.

Keep up the very good writing that you do,

reader101w

The dream was wicked D: and awww the ending rocked! Great job! Moarrr plz!

Well done, very graphic depiction to set the tone. Ron the true gentleman is shown also to be Kim Possible's man.

I liked it.

It's good.

I guess I'm no the only one

having a hard time on this

sight.

You. Sir. Are a Hero.

Nero-TheLonelyWolfe

Wow! I've read it last night. It's like reading my own fanfic, only much more descriptive. Never thought anyone would write something like I wrote. Happy to see my idea rubbed off on you. Captainkodak1 got that one right, his fanart "Ron's Nightmare" did spawn some serious fictions.

As I was reading you're story, I notice some other details and changes from mine. You describe Lorwardia as a desert planet with twin suns. A world of harsh survival, perfectly explains the Lorwardians becoming a warrior race. Kim was chained and being dragged to her doom, while in my she willingly walked to the gallows because there was nothing she could do. I guess to decided to give her some dignity by leaving what remained of her graduation gown on her. You also describe that Kim has no recollection of what happen after Warhok flung Ron and knocked out Kim. Thus, she has no idea whether everyone was killed or rounded up and enslaved. Kim may have wanted to know what happen to his family, friends, and Ron, but the Lorwardians probably refuse to answer or downright ignore her concerns. You also pointed how Kim realized her world was destroyed just to get to Kim. Unlike mine, you gave Kim some spirit in her to try to make the Lorwardians pay for destroying Earth and any other worlds they've conquered, but alas she realize she couldn't. Though I did have Kim thought briefly before she was forced to kneel. Plus, in mine everyone on Earth are being forced to watch her death.

You describe how Kim was tortured and abused while in captivity. I originally was going to add to that in my story, but I kinda rushed in my story. I was shocked to hear "from across the empire to witness and spectacle that was the execution off any individual". I was also surprised to notice Kim's escort were armed. I myself thought about Kim under the guillotine, but changed it to have Kim being forced to lay her head on a chopping block with Warmonga weilding the axe. Its because I didn't think, as advanced as they are, the Lorwardians would have such device and thought Warmonga would want to behead her herself, since they are barbaric that way. But you've changed my mind, especially when it was large, probably a one-size-fits-all sort of thing. Shocked to read that the blade was made to gouge the neck rather than a clean slice, they must want to see the victim suffer.

You had Warmonga told Kim that she was not "all that" before Kim was beheaded. Why didn't I think of that? You described Kim being so scared to die and how she was so young and have her life ahead of her but it was about to end horribly. I never thought they would their victims staring at the blade. Kim referred to them as "sick bastards". She also fully realize her head would end up on a wall as some trophy, a lifeless head of a teenage girl whose name might not even be remembered, and Lorwardians would be gawking at it for years to come. And she would be far away from Earth and she realized its all over.

The moment the blade was falling, I expect Kim's head hanging on a wall with other head of alien creatures. But to my surprise she wakes up! I was all just a dream, but in my story it really happened (in a divergent timeline). Admittingly I was relieved, as my heart had been beating the whole time.

It was nice to see the beginning of "Ill-Suited" repeat itself, only this time Kim was the one who called and she was much more terrified than Ron was. I was moved to see the nightmare made Kim so terrified and vulnerable, about what might have happened to her had it not been for Ron. Kim told him his dreams, but Ron comforts her assures her it couldn't happen and he'll never let it happen and she would protect Kim whenever she couldn't protect herself. I liked how Kim doesn't want to be alone, she wants Ron with her.

I recall in the beginning Kim hoped it was all a dream and she tried to wake up but couldn't because it's REALLY happening. But she only wake up the moment the blade touched her knife. I guess deep down she really thought there was no hope during the invasion.

As for Hana, airwalker9, Ron noticed the fear in Kim's voice, so he might have called Yori just in case.

Interestingly, there is a fanart in deviantart called "The End" where Kim is under the guillotine. She has a scared-to-death look on her face and the bloodied blade (more traditional instead of symmetrical) was just released! Unlike your story, she didn't face up staring at the blade.

Sorry, I wrote so much, I thought I let you know my opinions. Good job! This is one of my favorites now!

There's an AU story called "When Killing is Necessary" where Kim was killed when Warhok picked her up by the leg right then and there, check it out.

A nice little trip into insufficiently-explored territory. I think that Kim and probably Ron too will be haunted by those nightmares for a very, very long time.

I always wondered how Kim and Ron could be expected to grow up without suffering from PTSD. I mean, they are TEENAGERS, for Pete's sake! Yet they have faced down things and experienced things that would leave trained soldiers needing therapy! I think that captainkodak1 has written some interesting stories using that concept as a starting point.

The underlying concept aside, I think that this story was very well characterised. You got a loving and supportive Ron just right (he is too often shown as having no empathy or as being a bit TOO strong). I also think that you caught well the vulnerable side of the character of Kim that you can see even in the show (through her need to be popular and accepted).

A nice story. I like your KP stories a lot.

BenRG's Rating: 8/10

This story was so sweet. This is one of the aspects of Kim and Ron that I wished we could have seen in the show, but sadly... it's Disney after all. Nothing too terribly sad can air there. D: Also, it'd probably be too "mature" for their audience. Either way, you pulled it off perfectly, as always. I've already read it three times. D:

Also, I'm excited to hear that you decided to work on Chapter 2 of "Past Remembrance & Future Promise"! I didn't call, but I wanted to. P I loved that story, and can say I'm excited about your Chapter 2, whenever it may appear. Gonna give your revised story a quick read now. Thanks a ton Nutzkie for writing such wonderful stuff.

Very nice piece. Just goes to show the lengths these two will go for each other.

What I truly enjoyed about this story was the exploration of Kim's personality beyond what is usual seen. Because Kim is so often portrayed as a girl who can do anything she decides to, her reaction to situations and stimuli that she cannot control often go unnoticed and unexplored. While she has faced the occasional setback or difficulty that she couldn't instantly pickup, it's a rare treat to see Kim so completely broken in her ability to deal with nightmare-she isn't able to cope with it alone.

What you've painted here is a wonderful snapshot of humanity, and Kim just radiates it so fully in this piece. The part I found myself enjoying the most is immediately after she wakes up-those moments when she is unable to rely on her senses and reality, when she is simply unable to live through the experience and regain control. She is not like a small child, crying for her parents after her bad dream. It is not fear of the things that go bump in the night that have so rattled her, or even worries over the Lowardian threat becoming reality. What Kim truly fears is being left alone-that when her own strengths and abilities fail her, she will be vulnerable to all. She's seeking the affirmation for Ron that she has backup, that he'll be that unceasing safety net, and it's a simple yet profound expression of both friendship and love that gets shared between the two, something that nearly makes me feel as though I can now sleep better at night.

Congratulations on writing such a captivating short story, I applaud your work.

LM

I think I recall reading that fic, and I would say you captured its tone well. Wonderful job here.

Good news, bad news. Bad news first. Cliched opening. How many times has the dream sequence been used?

With that out of the way, I'm glad to see you back. Other than the qualms about the dream, the characters were well done, and in character. The idea that KP needs help, and admits it, is very sweetly done. (mean that in a good way, :) ).

Thanks

Spectre

Great story; the dream sequence was dark, very realistic, and ultimately fits very well as a dream sequence since the elements in it are very human as opposed to what you might expect from an alien world. Kim's mind put together a desert world with French Revolution style execution; who knows exactly how differently an alien civilization would do the things she dreamed? Her reaction of terror was also good; less that she lost control and more that she's have a post-traumatic episode which is understandable given how different the odds were in this situation than in anything she's faced up to that moment. (I'm a bit surprised Ron hasn't had the equivalent since after all in the episode it was his over-confidence that got her knocked out and into WarHawk's hands. He'd actually have more reason to freak out when everything is over given that.)

One little issue - you set it up so that both Kim and Ron's parents are out of town and end the story with Ron agreeing to spend the night comforting Kim. But what about Hana? Presumably Ron's parents wouldn't take her with them to a convention and would most likely leave her with Ron. So when Ron ran over to comfort Kim it was one thing but by spending the whole night as an ending to the story essentially has him leaving his baby sister almost alone (Rufus is still there) in the house a whole night. (Hana seems to be the reason why Ron would be in a rush to eventually go home instead of just falling asleep with Kim on the couch.)