wow nice..)

great editor..

so cute! great idea too, sounds like fun!

sequel maybe?

This story is all the more enjoyable as I can imagine each author feeding off the previous contributors lust. It feels like each of you is tempting the next to push the story further. This relects the pace of the story - tease, tempt, torment and take.

I personally enjoy short paragraphs and with smut, it is a writing style that works particularly well; when you want to excite the reader it helps to create a racy story.

With the scene set the story takes off rapidly, with suprising continuum, drawing in the charactersitics of well-developed powerful men - in particular their playful aspects.

Any Kurofai fan has been desperate for Fay to take Kurogane's blood from his neck, so I was immensely grateful to be relieved of that longing.

Kurogane's almost feigned resistance and Fays's persistance is masterfully tackled.

I thoroughly enjoy the word 'ministrations' and even when I use it in everyday English my mind wanders to its sexual connotations.

With all the nuzzling, cuddling and kissing there is one phrase which jars in the story. Kurogane, concerned for Fay's physical well-being ''coated two fingers before sticking them in Fay's ass to stretch him some''. We get the picture clearly but , maybe something more sensitive might have been appropriate. The continuation of that paragraph is lovely though.

Two magnificant descriptions need to be applauded:

When Fay needed to pull his mouth away from Kurogane's - the sudden need for more air due to increased stimulation

and

the short description ''Swallowed audibly''.

This is a well-rounded immensely enjoyable story that thoroughly pleases. Thankyou all very much, I feel satisfied - for now.

Ha ha, wonderful smut. I need a good dose of it every now and then. Thank you! :3

lol Kurotan loves pancakes! So you have anymore of these somewhere?