Interesting story had a kinda King Arthur flair to it except the story line was different obviously, but nonetheless fun. A very good tale and wasn't all that Jasper wanted?

Loved this story and I always suspected Kit would do the right thing.

Don't sell yourself short- your OCs have depth. Great story!

This story was...really beautiful. I know it was finished almost five years ago, but it's still worth saying.

I'm truly impressed by the world-building you did with the countries and your OCs. You give enough to make it feel like a place where people could really live and die and tell stories rather than just being a cardboard backdrop for the action, but not so much as to be overwhelming. I'd be delighted to read an original novel set in the Drowned Quarter (what a cool idea!), and the Debateable Lands idea felt familiar without being too worn. I can see some of the influences you mentioned (particularly from The Thief, great book), but the lonely reaches between the kingdoms also reminded me a little of The Wind Witch by Susan Dexter or something early by Patricia McKillip. You never lift things wholesale from other writers or from history, though-you give everything your own experience and insight, and it really shows. I felt, at moments, like I was there with the characters, and that's not something I often take away from fanfiction.

I'm impressed by how believably you mixed fantasy with science fiction. I love the idea of this war-torn, medieval society dabbling with steam and gunpowder, about to learn that there are people-whole other worlds!-out there circling points of light in the sky. It's not about jumpers or Ancient technology for them, it's this incredible, impossible sense of wonder and hope and uncertainty about what might be out there. Or maybe that there even *is* an out there. I love that your original characters are autonomous, interesting people with their own futures and stories ahead of them. So often, original characters become stereotypes to fill the role of "prejudiced jerk" or "awestruck bystander" or whatever to suit the writer's needs. That, I think, is the real issue that some people have with them (well, that and Mary Sues). Jasper and Kit and Ferris are changed by the Lanteans-just like any of us are when we meet great people in our lives-but they aren't defined by them. They define themselves, by their choices and their actions, and that makes all the difference in the world.

It's weird that I'm typing out this whole long review and I haven't even mentioned Sheppard and his team yet. That, too, is the success of this story. I love the show, I *know* these characters...but I'm on the outside here, just like Jasper and Kit. Their feelings and even their conversations are their own, and I'm left, as the reader, to interpret them by what they allow me to see. It suited the story to not know everything. The Lanteans, cool as they are, much as I love them, are peripheral to some things. McKay was right-this isn't a Star Trek episode, and they don't have to fix everything before the end credits. They have their own (probably extremely worried) city to tend to, their own war to win, and their own problems to solve. Likewise, the whole world of Myr and Daryen is peripheral to the greater workings of the Pegasus Galaxy for now, maybe forever. But their world goes on, even with everything else happening elsewhere. You leave me believing that it goes on after your story ends, because you've crafted a place and people that mattered to me while I was reading them. That's rarer a thing than it should be.

I don't know if you'll read this, but if you do...thanks.

I loved this chapter. . .and it's ending. I'm new to SGA fanfiction. But there's so much of it! So I've been hunting for good writers who write good stories. I check out long stories first, because I've found that (in general) the writing is often better. Not that I don't like good stories and good writers no matter what the length. . .but long stories often show a commitment to plot and character and style and quality. This is the first story by you that I've begun reading. . .and I am looking forward to reading you other stories. I realize that it's been several years since you wrote this. . .but I'm new to SGA the show and the writing (led here by a crossover fic.

The best SGA story I've read so far!... Why so? I'm a type of demanding whump-lover and this story contained precisely what I seek. I'm not sure I can name it correctly, but I'll try. The main problem with torturing the main characters is that stories focused on them tend to carry the same scheme of combining several near-death scenes with heroic efforts in between and some sacrifice offers thrown in for a good measure. It makes all such stories look exactly the same with occasional change of settings only and I've read tons of them... The situation can get so exagerrated you loose the fun, which for me comes mainly from a fair amount of 'probability' of the plot (if you can talk about such a thing in fanfiction). But I hope you know what I mean. What makes a really good whump story is in fact cloaking the theme. So the reader can derive pleasure from reading between the lines a bit and from rising tension, and from following the theme as it flows through the actual plot. That's what such stories usually lack - a good plot.
In 'On the Road...' you got it working brilliantly. There is a meaning to this story. It's outstanding - I mean, how often the 'rescuing from prison' part occurs in the first few chapters of a long tale? I spent a whole day reading because it had me gripped so. I cherished the Sheppard bits but I liked the team aspects very much too. I always think other characters are necessary to draw out what's best in the main one. A huge plus is the outsiders' perspective which gave the text a very distinctive style. It lets the reader get a different look at the characters we know. The characters you created are alive, well-developed and the canon ones never fail to stay in character. Last but not least, the story's just simply well-written and it's a great advantage. Good writing is half the way to the success, that's what my personal opinion is.
Thank you very much for the text that entertained me so! Keep up the good work and remember to stay original - it's your forte :)

Wow, what an epic. I really enjoyed the OCs and the outsider viewpoint. Now off to read the one-shot follow up...

Still fantastic, you've kept up the characters in perfect voice, set up the predicament and left us waiting for the resolution. *sighs happily*

What an astonishing opening chapter. I defy anyone not to desperately hit the next chapter button! Fantastic imagery and set up. How did I miss this little gem...

This was lovely. Thank you, it really grew on me, and I'm so glad I stuck with it.

I just discovered this story that you wrote a few years ago. It's a wonderful take on SGA! The outsider point of views that you conjured-up had a lot of depth and really held my full attention. I hope that you are still writing, you are really talented.

Finished reading and it was all awesome! I could tell throughout the story that you had really put yourself into it and enjoyed finding out where it all came from in the end notes. You wove this story and all it's elements together so well and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

When I read that Kit was inspired by The Thief I had this sorta jolt. I was definitely getting a Gem(that's the name, right? I'm terrible with names) vibe from him but couldn't quite place my finger on where I knew that from. It's been a while since I read the book but I've got it on my book shelf so I shall now have to reread :D

I knew something was up with Kit and was wondering if he had a connection to Daryen... Very nicely done. Just enough subtle clues to suspect something wasn't quite right but not enough to give it all away.

I agree, after Jasper & Kit Annis was a nice refreshing change for a chapter. I actually felt the difference when I started in on the next chapter, how it was back to the other two after the breather of Annis (not that I don't like the boys but a different POV now & then can be good). Still loving the story, you're doing an awesome job!

Just wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying this fic! Outsider POV is always so interesting. This is the first one I've read that is this long though and you're doing a wonderful job. You have created these two characters (& the 2 one-offs from the prologue) who have their own personalities and it is interesting to see what the team looks like through their eyes. You're right, it isn't the typical fic and might take a bit to get into as the reader is introduced to two completely new characters, but once I met the 'new guys' I've been completely swept into the fic.