Hi,

First, thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it.

Pretend for a minute that you were reading this tale, rather than telling it.

Your Harry is easily beyond NEWT level; at least in the wand classes. Realistically, you may have placed him at mastery level. That said, would you be surprised if the storyteller essentially had him work on independent study rather than attend introduction classes designed for eleven year-old kids? Would you be surprised if he chose not go to Hogwarts?

Your Drake has been sending him out on life-or-death missions for at least a year or two. Having done that, how could your Harry be happy living with a 9PM curfew or pretending to be interested in first-year spellwork?

I eagerly await reading the part two story to see how you solved these very real issues.

Old-Crow

Hi,

While this will be a balanced review, please know that I've enjoyed every page.

Your Drake character offers a clever resource for your Harry. That said, aside from some martial arts training and the ability to actually stand up to DD, I'm not certain what actual benefit he's provided in the first 19 chapters. The horcruxes are in place, the bones are still there and it feels like he hasn't had many serious conversations with someone who had lived before.

In short, (recognizing that everyone's style is different) I'd have preferred to have seen the pre-Hogwarts portion presented in 25K words. I say this out of recognition that every hobbyist storyteller only has a finite amount of time/ambition available regardless of your inspiration. I've never had the many hundreds of hours available needed to write a 500,000 word epic tale that this story seems to be heading towards.

cheers

This is an excellent book one. Death to another AU age 5/6. But with lots of training & Hermione & Voldy getting some memories of the future.

I get the distinct feeling that, judging from your rather consistent spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not your first language?

Nice chapter, I've a feeling Liz and Hermione are going to have some issues with Harry in future chapters. Glad to see some explanation about the alternate reality being presented, because some things weren't adding up to me.

I believe you called Hermione's mother Emily in a previous chapter instead of Jane, if I'm mistaken, please ignore me. Interesting story thus far, poor Hermione though. At least Harry got spared that last bit of memory. Hope she'll manage to cope, and/or forget that segment over time as she's close or at 8 years old.

How long could Harry have gone if he did not let himself get distracted by the female's voice in his head?

Sounds like the soulmate affect?

You have a good story. My dad favoried it and I can agree with that. However you're driving me bonkers with either typing errors or poor grammar. There is a difference between form and from please learn it and use the right word where necessary. My other pet peeves are trail and trial. Also incorrect using of there, their, & they're, bare and bear also make me chrigne when misused. Perhaps it's why I would never post out here.
Snake

I don't know about the "almighty and all knowing", but "can never be created or destroyed" is something I associate with matter, and how it can only be transformed. it's interesting, the parallels between religion and science.

for Michel's name, you keep changing the spelling. sometimes it's "Michel", sometimes it's "Mitchel", and sometimes it's "Michelle". I have no idea what this character's name is.

meh, im out

I loved your version of Nicholas Flamel and cannot help but think he owes some of his more amusing aspects to Billy Crystal's Miracle Max in "The Princess Bride."

Hmm you just reminded me that is time to watch the movie again.

It's been a while since this was last updated, but I wish to say that it is still finding new readers. I know that Real Life does get in the way of writing fanfiction (those nasty priorities towards survival!) but this is so well written that it is unfortunate that it has not been completed.

I like this so well that I'll be reading your other work. At least in the genres that I am familiar with... not much familiarity with manga.) Thank you for writing and sharing with your readers.

he teached them

he taught them.

Non-English native? Excellent work, if so.

you do know kids read here? do you really think an m rateing will stop them? would you like your kids to read this and think my parent is a sicko. clean up your act