Quite deep and interesting. I see that you've been working on this in your profile, so hopefully you update this and your other stories soon. Best of luck!

Please finish this; it's very well written and I can't wait to find out what's coming up. That's all I have for now.

finish this story already i cannot wait any longer for the rest of the chapters finish this story now

Oh my gosh. This story is so confusing! and yet, i understand most of it. i love it, but miss everything. Are those two finally going to be together? or will ash need to be committed? Hm, i enjoy this, but throw us a bone *begs* though i guess, all in good time ne? and if it does happen, it should be excellent for waiting.

I'm sorry, but I can't read it... my eyes are getting hurt and blurred by the mass of text, which is a bad thing since I'm sure that this chapter is good.

I would recommend that you try and put the text like you did in your previous chapter.

Til' next time

Gerbilftw

Just started reading this, and although the plot itself is interesting, the lack of punctuation and odd odd scene changes really takes away from it. At points I found myself trying to understand where a sentence stops or where the characters were at the moment instead of actually understanding the story.

What I did like, however, is how deep the story is. It's not progressing extremely fast, but all the same you can tell that there's a deeper meaning yet to be found, and that alone has managed to keep me reading.

You could probably ask around and find someone willing to read your chapters over and correct the little errors for you, but if you're not interested in that, (I know nobody else can write YOUR story the way YOU want it written) then you should really reread them one or two times. It will help loads.

Anyway, I'm sorry if that seems a bit over-critical, and I hope I managed to help you out.

Okay, this chapter was really confusing :S

Mind telling me what it was about? And why was there to different 'universes' in it? :S

Anyway, it was well written and planned, you could try and make them a little shorter and update more often!

Wow, very nice fanfic you have gere Jack but i wonder why the pokecenter is not accepting any more poeple other than its full.

This story is getting more and mroe interesting by the minute. keep up the great work. D

this time is Ash's POV. u really should add some "full stops" and such, so we readers don't get confuse " anyways, the chapter is still fun to read Plz update soon 3

It can't be the end right?

I liked your idea with that Ash had her bandanna in his hat, that would've explained why he was so protective of his hat.

Waiting for the next chapter!

Nice story . . .

i really like ur story, pleaz update soon.

I really love this story and the natural interaction between May and Ash. The part where they were trying to climb the tree was just a little hard to follow, but I think that plot point was awesome. I can't wait to see more!

-whistles- Dude, you know how to make me smile with writing.

I loved the ending of this chapter. It was warm and fun.

Though I think Ash was a tiny bit OOC here, but thats forgiven. i like how this is in SunyShore, I always thought that if they met up again, it would be in Sunyshore.

Great job with descriptions, I saw it all. You don't rush either, you ease us in t an aproachable pace.

Keep up the good work!

Update Soon Plz!;)

~NN44

Whoa! I have to say congratulations for a job well executed. You seem to have nailed perfectly the aspects of an easy-going, light hearted, fun-filled and vivid story. Those two chapter had more than just beautiful imagery - it was quite like a fairy tale, a vivid and gorgeous read. You've managed to make us feel the emotions quite perfectly.

Don't rush. Just take you time. Art is never good when rushed, and you seem to know that. Even if you take an year to write the next chapter, I'm sure it'll be worth it.

The only nitpick I have is the change in perspective, along with a few typos. The first chapter is in Ash's POV, the second in Third person - limited. I don't quite get the chapter titles either - they don't seem to connect to the chapter content, but maybe that's just me. Anyways, these things are pretty minor, but the minor things do count when everything else is done nicely.

Keep up that beautiful imagery.