sooooo i'll just say this after 10 chapters this story has only JUST started but 10 chapters is toooo long to keep someone interested in read a story full of fillers in the beginning.
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Please improve on this.
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Not only that but the beginning didn't even synchronize with your story at all. You didn't even mention ANYTHING about it in 10 chapters after you began to plot out a course you just put the beginning and then went straight to CANON. Where is your story? Why do so many fillers? NOBODY wants to read about what the fuck Hinata is doing when Naruto is on the mission and then hospitalized. Why do crap like this. The story name is NARUTO . If you want to do Hinata then name your fic Hinata or something. We are here to read about Naruto and whatever new powers you are going to give him. EVERYONE reading a fanfic is reading to see if you make Naruto the story better and yet so far ALL IT'S BEEN IS CANON.

sooooo 7 chapters in and the story has YET to start and then when it finally was going to start we get another filler on chapter 8...
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Great fanfic so far - much sarcasm here.

... 5 chapters and the story has YET to begin...

sooooo many fucking fillers man when is the fucking story going to begin?.

Great job I enjoyed it

I must say this story sucks ass big time you said it was a naruto fanfic when thats a lie its not even about naruto its all about hainat

What are the numbers for?

I think that, while you have an exciting premise, your use of description could use some work. What really turned me off of this story was how you described your OC. A lot of the words you used didn't need to be there. For instance,
"Kunai sailed through the air attempting to hit a single target, a fairly aged man wearing a large black cloak that covered everything but the forearms and the head. His arms were bare not including a blue wristband with a scroll tied to it on the left and a red wristband on the right, each with a gemstone of the corresponding color."
Could become,
"Kunai sailed through the air attempting to hit their target, an aged man wearing a black cloak covering his body, save for his forearms and head. On each wrist, he carried a red and blue scroll, with a corresponding colored gemstone tied to it's length."

nooooooooooooo i loved this chapter. this was the kind of thing i needed. the little naruhina gave my heart a break after all this fighting. you see im watching the war AND reading this fanfic so all the fightin is puttin a lot on me. thank you for this. Arigato.

lol funny :) i think this is an awesome coincidence but its chapter 27 and hinata-chan b-day is the 27th lol awesome work

That's a bloody evil point to end this part of the story xD
I really do hope the sequel will be continued one of these days because after the rather slow start this was among the best of the stories I read on fanfiction. And after all I've read that's saying something :)
All in all great job.

Lahmikhara

Wow this story is AMAZING!

I'm enjoying this story, though it is taking an obnoxiously long time for anything to happen. What has happened so far, could have been condensed into one chapter.
There is one thing, however, that I am not enjoying.
If you are going to write a story in English, do not write random words in Japanese. The only time a story written in a language different from the language spoken by the characters should deviate from the language it is written in, should be when a character uses a phrase or a term that cannot be properly translated.
Failing to do this can only make you look like a fool. The Japanese words you have used are among the first Japanese children speak. In fact, 'hai' and 'gomen' are the only two words one needs to know before immigrating to Japan. Also, 'hai' is only used in certain circumstances; it is certainly not to be used in the place of 'okay'.
Children whose primary language is English should never attempt to use Japanese unless they are fluent; other than honorifics, of course. I'm sorry, but it makes you seem immature, ignorant, and disrespectful.
It doesn't help that every fanfiction written in English does this exact same thing; with the exact same words written in
Pseudo-Japanese. -_-

I can't believe it took me 24 chapters to realize that Arashi uses moves from History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi. I feel dumb now. Still, Awesome story, hope I can read more from you

At last I've found it! I never finished this story before I left it be for a while. And then what do you know I go and forget what it was called. But never again, this is going right into my favorites.