I really don't like people who jump to conclusions like that.

Yay! Thank you for bringing Synth back!

Synth had better come back!

Speaking of Eevees, I'm wondering if that Eevee from earlier (the one that was tagging along with that Vulpix's team that got arrested) is going to reappear in this story. I certainly hope that the Eevee gets a second chance!

I am loving this story! I am speeding through it really fast, eager to find out what happens next!

Oh, and by the way, Clark County School District had to be ORDERED by a Nevada Governor (whose name I cannot recall at the moment) to shut down the schools due to Coronavirus. My mom says that she watched the meeting during which Superintendent Jesus Jara was ordered by the Governor to close schools, and she said that Jara looked kind of pissed.

lol I hope you have a nice day!

"…and sloths, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and—"
"—skip a bit, brother!"

The story is great! I am enjoying it so far. I came here from looking at the Mystery Dungeon Fanfic Recs Page on TVTropes.

Also, usually I am too lazy to login, but this time I was too impatient to leave a review to go out of my way to login. My username is Damariobros.

whelp i know this is going to be dark just by this chapter alone

…? I picked this story, looked at this, just…what?

Okay, before I say anything critical, I just want to note that I'm aware this fic is many years old by this point, so you (the author) have probably drastically improved by this point, and to also say that I'm not writing this review because I dislike/flame it or anything like that, but because I do think there are good ideas that could be done better.

For starters, I do think your ideas during certain key aspects of the story had potential to be interesting: Pixii being orphaned, Synth being a "coward" and treated like crap for it, The bullying Scar, the development of feelings between the two main characters, Synth's aunt becoming a roadblock in more ways than one, the death of one of their friends and needing to get him back from Giratina...These all have potential, and to an extent I can see where you were going with them with some of the plot points you bring up.

However, therein lies the problem; they have the POTENTIAL, and SOME of the ideas are developed, but none of them are ever pushed to their fullest potential, and the ones that ARE developed tend to be rather anticlimactic or feel VERY rushed. The orphaned subplot for Pixii comes off less as a major aspect of her character (at least until near the end) and more like a cheap means of getting sympathy for her character without actually DOING anything with it to give her behavior more nuance and depth. You'd THINK being orphaned would have noticeable consequences on her mental state, and give her more issues when interacting with others, yet the way she acts throughout the story would make you think the orphaned subplot never happened until the end.

This is also a notable issue with Synth as well; while I was pleased to see him being visibly affected by the scorn directed at him, it almost immediately disappears after Pixii has her little episode and everyone suddenly changes their behavior overnight, thus taking out most of the reason for Synth's angst and leaving less situations for interaction, development, and potential new plot points. This once again also applies to the romantic feelings that develop between Pixii and Synth, in that it feels rushed and unnecessarily tacked on, with little development or changes in their relationship in a meaningful or nuanced way. Heck you'd think the temporary separation between the two would be more thoroughly explored, like how it affects both of them with differing viewpoints, or even some interaction between Synth and his aunt (which could also serve as foreshadowing of her antagonistic nature near the end).

Speaking of antagonists, Scar, Daisy, the villagers, and that one Pikachu are all rather underdeveloped in my opinion. Scar is just a generic bully that had a few moments of genuine nastiness, but not enough to really make an impression until his death, and even that was anticlimactic at best. Daisy is a case of being even LESS developed than Scar, which causes the reveal near the end to feel very forced and tacked on, which is a shame because as I said above, if her relationship with Synth (she clearly seems to have that "condescending while trying to be kind" sort of tone towards him and others) was expanded on with interaction, she could have made for a very chilling villain. The issue with the villagers I mentioned above, and the Pikachu disappearing is an issue I'll put together with the problem in regards to the penultimate arc with saving Lily's friend.

The idea of saving someone from the Lord of the Underworld is a cool idea in itself, and the reveal that Giratina wasn't as scary as presumed could have been a decent gag, not to mention more character interactions and development could have occurred.

The problem? It's difficult to care about this arc because the character who died is horribly underdeveloped. If anything, nearly EVERY character who isn't one of the main protagonists is underdeveloped, and combined with the constant addition of new characters seemingly PER chapter makes it hard to really get to know any of the characters individually. We get basic intros into their personalities at the end of the chapters, but none of these traits are expanded enough to differentiate them in the actual story. All of the girls blend together to a degree, the males are only slightly better, the canon characters from the PMD games are only used sparingly at best...

Basically put, there is no nuance to any of these characters, thus making it very difficult to EMPATHIZE with them. I can understand that some characters can't be developed due to needing that time to improve the main characters, or to focus on important plot points and stuff like that, plus we don't really need to know EVERYTHING about the others since it would cause the story to become horribly bloated, but at the same time, some more nuance and depth to the other characters would really help to flesh out the world and make character interactions more interesting. Instead, we get various chapters where it feels like the story comes to a complete stop because you either end up introducing more characters who serve no ultimate purpose, or to add in a filler mission that doesn't add anything new to the existing characters or change the situation in a meaningful way.

I know much of this seems rather harsh, and it would seem odd that I would still favorite the story despite these criticisms, but like I said before: I like the ideas, but not the execution. If you improve the latter, then I think this could really be something notable. Until then, it's a somewhat enjoyable, but highly flawed tale.

-Enigma2Me

Wow! This is some seriously awesome writing! I can't wait to see the next installment of this! I'm a year older than you and this is way better than what I could A) come up with and B) stay dedicated to. Seriously, I write fanfiction for fun and I never finish them :P

AWWWWWWWW! THE ENDING WAS SOOOOOOOOO PERFECT! I LOVE THIS AND GREAT WORK!

wait is it Fang or Claw? Awwww I love the love part, I LOVE LOVE SCENES! lol XD though not excactly a love scene but it was cute how Pixii said she loved Synth. your doing a great job now! 3

I love this story so much and u probably aren't expecting comments now I think but the purple aura is probably from Team Magic.

Ch 3:
- Alright, sorry, I have to stop reading here. I think by this point the story really needed some plot, some hooks if you will to get the reader to continue reading. Yet it is simply more melancholic melodramatic backstory that is irrelevant to the plot. I think it is meant only to make the reader sympathize with these characters but I only hate them more. So far all they have done is commiserated with each other, gotten beaten up, and healed themselves. There is no plot. This is Chapter 3.
- Sorry if that was harsh. It was still well written mechanically and all that, in my humble opinion. But this feeling-rousing sort of writing is not for me.
- I liked how you put in the bit about the now-familiar road, reminding the reader where they are, and that we've seen this place a lot before. Grounding us in the story. I will try to use such reminders in my own writing.

Ch 2:
- I love how she turns to make them get a faceful of tail-flame. It's these cool techniques, that aren't just Moves, that I need to incorporate in my writing.
- You can always see how stories with this sort of beginning are going, but at least the obvious stuff is over by Chapter 2.

Ch 1:
- Dang, you're pretty good at writing! Great pacing, nice descriptions, realistic dialogue, all of that.
- Again, too melodramatic for me.
- I find it hard to believe that most people in the entire town loathe Synth just because he is too scared to join the guild. Either everyone is unrealistically cruel, or Synth did something else to turn them off. My disbelief meter is increasing. I understand that your story is supposed to have a somber tone (I think), and your characters have terrible pasts. But instead of feeling sad and sympathizing with these characters, I just feel like it's over the top. Hopefully that changes.