Love this one-wish I were her!

OMG, That was amazing! Do you think you could write one with a little (A LOT!) more detail on the sexual part? And maybe put some more graphic S&M in there? In case you don't know, S&M is like, cutting and bondage and stuff. pain, basically.

oh, i REALLY like this one, good job!

This is a solidly written ficlet. Your writing is very fluid and easy to read. Not many grammar mistakes jumped out at me. Only one major thing:

"Tic for tac"

It's "tit for tat".

My only other concern is more to do with personal preference in storytelling. I know you tried to give the characters chemistry, but without the background leading up to their strip tease, this is just like any of a million other PWP fics. It's more engaging to read about the formation of this relationship first. I can read porn on if that's what I wanted. If you do have the background hammered out, you should put this piece within that story - or as a companion piece. It will be more emotionally gratifying for the reader.

I think this is well written, and you should post the complete story, I'd love to read it