Vince had certainly hit rock bottom in this. The way he talked to Howard was unexceptible, i think i would have hit him to if I was Howard. Howard was only being a caring friend, Vince is horrid, selfish and doesn't deserve him. I didn't think at the time that it was Lance Dior fighting Vince at the club, I wouldn't put either of themm down as being like that. Good story, but now i must read something that'll cheer me up.

Wow, this is amazing. I actually tried to review this earlier, but I got a bloody error message and now I've lost it all. Took ages to write as well. Let that be a lesson to me, I suppose.

But yeah, on with this, the beginning is absolutely amazing. The pace was so slow and the tone so detached and drawn out, it had a perfect hazy, half-awake atmosphere and an air almost of walking around in a daze. The dialogue has a quicker pace and is far more direct too, and the contrast between the urgent dialogue and the thick, sort of drugged atmosphere brings out a sense of worry which is quite unsettling.

The shifting focus on the fighters and the dancers later on works well too. It gets you into the mood of the bystander really well, in that you only seem to be concentrating on them half of the time, while the other half is devoted to your own hypothetical night out. It puts them in the role of strangers fighting on a dancefloor, rather than two charcaters that we know. The focus on the sensations afterwards, when they're thrown out, like the taste of blood in Vince's mouth and the way he repeatedly checks the state of his face, really emphasises the physicality and hits home with the extent of the damage Vince is doing to himself. It imples a cycle too; that this isn't the first time Vince has brought on his own self-destruction, and nor will it be the last time. The paranoia about germs is also quite unnerving, as it reflects the paranoia elsewhere in his life andthe choices he's made.

The bit in the flat is brilliantly written as well. It's very dialogue-heavy compared to the more decription-focused earlier parts, and this combined with the intrusiveness of Vince's narration makes the scene a little uncomfortable, exactly how Vince would be feeling. The perspective of his own POV makes Howard seem unreasonable and almost threatening, despite the sympathy in Howard's actual dialogue, and the simulataneous contrast between how we see Howard through the dialogue and through the narration gets across Vince's fallibility and pig-headedness very well. It links in well with Vince's realisation at the end that he is the one being unreasonable and not Howard, which is the first moment of clarity in the entire fic, and has a huge impact. A sort of '4:48 Psychosis' moment.

Howard's punch is unexpected, and the way you don't give it much attention and almost seem to skim over it really gets across how detached from reality Vince has become- he can't see the things that are coming at him, and he has trouble comprehending what has already happened.

This is wonderfully written, and the atmosphere and description are perfect. Very powerful ending too. I'm just sorry I didn't read it sooner.

luv ya

x x x

Aww!

Poor Vince, even though he was acting like a twat. Eww, mouldy clementines, I always eww at that part of the song anyway :P

It was quite a heartbreaking image that Vince threw up at the sight of himself, and the last line was really powerful about Vince's guilt killing him inside.

I need fluff now :)

Becky

xx

Ooh, he really has.

Poor Howard. I don't blame him for smacking Vince. At least Vince realised he deserved it.

When he was drunk and eating the moldy clementines and went 'nah, I'm rock 'n roll', I thought that was really funny and very Vince. I also laughed when Leroy called him 'my darlin''!

That whole fight with Lance was really horrible, but the part between Vince and Howard was so, so sad. Vince was so out of order with what he said and I felt so sorry for Howard; he was just trying to be a caring friend.

Any chance of another one-shot, just to have them make up? *smiles sweetly*

Love ya!

xx

lol trust vince to get into a fight with lance dior but he didn't have to say that to howard :( update?

wow. just, wow.

Steph this was brilliant, all The Beer references actually made me laugh :) but the way they whre used where clever, like the drinks and everything, I especially liked the way you crowbared the puchybuggy thing in (: And the moldey clementines, ew! but 'no i'm rock and roll' I love that line in the song, and of course in this now. The fight between Vince and Lance was intense! the way you wrote each blow and everything, all the kicks i actually sat here and said 'I never wanna be beaten up' then Howard and Vince! omg, I dunno I felt more sorry for Vince though, cause all that anger, if i was him the last thing I'd want is someone fussing over me and stuff, even if i was bleeding to death, but still howard punchin him, he deserved it for being such an arse even though his emotions where understandable as he had been beaten up, yeah. Ahaha, he said 'i've lost a tooth' i went and felt the gap in my mouth to, ahahah.

The ending as sad, the way you described Vince in the bathroom looking into the mirro and then being sick at himself, it was truley heart breaking.

I really liked this! actually i loved this! and I love the song, the combination of the two was just a genius idea! Thank you for the dedication! so here, have a lovelly long reveiw! *faves*

love you!

xx

Aww! I feel sorry for Vince, even though he acted like a tit.

Great story!

xx