General thoughts: Awww the ending to this! Of course, this is an old piece and unpolished, but the ending is stunning. Bringing the awfulness of his wife's loss to a close with their little girl... that's a wonderful ending, and really the perfect way to close to ensure you don't leave your readers a sobbing hysterical mess (unless of course, that's what you're looking for ;) )

Looking forward to seeing how you've grown in your writing over the years since this piece!

Critique: So this is an old piece and my usual disclaimer THIS ADVICE MAY NOT APPLY ANYMORE TO YOU. But looking purely at this one, I'm reviewing what I see.

Slightly too over-described - especially in the beginning. Emotions, even crushing grief, can be described without being overwrought, and they'll be more powerful for having done so. Simple descriptions, avoid too much flowery prose, and be specific. By that I mean; what is sadder? The absolute all-powering grief that you've described here that we cannot possibly fathom without going through the loss ourselves? Or describing how this morning he'd woken, made breakfast, and found half a bag of her favourite muffins sitting on the counter from when she'd bought them the week before, fully intending upon eating them? Small things are heartbreaking, always tie it to the small things.

Dialogue is a little stiff! Remember to vary the sentence structure, show off body language, really bring the scene alive. Don't just use facial expressions - also use their hands, their feet; maybe their foot is tapping while they thing, maybe they're running their finger over their wedding ring absently - small things like this bring the bigger picture to life.

I know I'm a little late in reviewing... but it's a really good story. I had to review.

I was already in a down mood before I started reading this... and I should have stuck to the fluffy fanfics right now... I can't stop crying !

Well done on the amazing job and I'll reread it when I'm in a better frame of mind. That way I should appriciate it more. :)

Oh my god...I honestly don't know what to say. God, I'm crying! You were right though the music made all the difference. I'm speechless and crying and I want to give Danny a hug. I'd like to say that Danny's reaction to seeing Lindsay's body was perfect, but Lindsay would have sliced her own throat before someone raped her. I really don't know what to say though. You wrote this so well that I feel like I knew her just through the characters reactions. Oh god! Kenzie will never know her Mom (also when I thought about a name for their kid if it was a girl I thought of Mckenzie! So that was kind of wierd.)! All I can really think of right now is how much I need to favourite this and how I am so going to be telling my friends about this fic!

Keep writing! I want to see more!

-GBNF

I'm crying...and i never cry! A wonderful job on capturing how someone would feel when the love of their life is gone.

I LOVE this story! Court, you're freakin' amazing...BOOM. BTBTWFYIPS: I laughed so hard at the cookie reference! Way to make it dirty so I can never say it again...Thanks love, thanks a lot. ] And you made little McKenzie so damn cute! Yay for getting the "baby" talk down right (lots make them have a vocabulary fit for a five year old) but that's no problem for you since Momma Sherry has a bunch of the rugrats running around your house!

Love it, Love it, Love it! Hell yeah for nerdiness!

You've captured Danny's grief very well if something like this ever happened. A child between them would be the only thing that would keep him going. Nicely done.

omg...i cried reading this story...very touching...wa!

It's storming outside, I played the song and read this wonderfully sadly beautifully written story. There's no way anyone can read this without getting at least a little teary-eyed.

This is such a great story! very sad and wonderfully written!

I put the song on as suggested but really wish i hadn't...i'm now crying! lol. And not just the occasional tear...i'm full on crying here!

Excellent but so sad x

utterly amazing! thank you for sharing!

That was great! Heartbreaking, but wonderful nonetheless. And I love 'Storm' by Lifehouse; the way it ties in makes it just that little bit more upsetting. Well done.

That was so good. I don't usually cry, at films, books, anyhting really, but that gave me a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes!

Well Done

wow, so good it gave me chills

If the fic wasn't sad enough this:

"See, Montana, even the angels cry for you"

Made everything more sad :(

It was beautifully written, and the fact that I want to cry now means that it is perfect :)