Really nice and intense story - They were so young back there :) I Really like your writing style

Man, I've been waiting for each of their bet together-Sam with his researching first, and Dean with his shoot first-to be the ending scene that will defeat the creature. But maybe it's never your intention (or maybe I just missed it lol). Instead, Sam win, and idk why that ending didnt really sit well with me. Maybe because I really like how you made those two element clear throughout the story (1. Dean choose his hiding based on what he encounters and Sam choose the route by research Dean's trail. 2. Dean encounter the creature and go straight to pursue it, meanwhile Sam choose to research it first and come out with the wards and weapon of choice), so I assumed you'll end it with that too (they finished the creature with their own trait, together. not just Sam's. eventhou, I agreed more toward Sam's method).

Nonetheless, great story. Like always :)

Oh, this is Great !

They're really Interesting Brothers ever !

The one who would make Bet or Game, but would end up worrying all over many thing in the end.

Totally Awesome !

Worried Sam to the Rescue was just Great !

Love this!

ack, poor Dean, doesn't want to feel second to Sam on the hunting front. Pride will get you, every time.

VERY glad Sam got there when he did! Liked the trickery Sam played on Dean about the hospital, liked the plan Dean did with the cabby, really liked the azeman's declaration that Dean would become one of them - oh yeah, he WAS the right one to be picked, he'd be nigh on unstoppable. HOWEVER, Sam wouldn't allow it, and that makes for the best story yet. *sigh*

Liked this!

Also a similar "I Spy" episode, with Scotty hunting Kelly, and Kelly getting sick.

For how much I can't imagine them ever separating to hunt each other even in a game like this, you set it up so that I believed every word of it. You were really able to get into both of their heads and discover the reasons they each wanted to win- and prove themselves to the other- so badly that they would risk this in the middle of a hunt.

Another great story, I really liked it!

T.T so sweet!

Great story. It is funny that Dean did not think of the girl being the Monster. But that Dean for you.

This was a really great story. There are a couple of episodes in Season One that it could've replaced. You're a really great writer.

I totally loved it *-*

Incredible fic, really... I loved everything

The bet was a little stupid xDD But everybody know the boys are totally crazy ahaha

Kisses and till next

Rosetta

Hi KHanna,

very nice story! I loved this idea of competition between the both of them, since I do think that Sam (at least sometimes) would just feel like a kid tagging along after his 'big brother' who always takes the lead and doesn't let him do anything on his own (hunting-wise). I also liked the fact that Sam didn't know after a few minutes of research what the thing was that 'scratched' Dean and that it took him quite a while to find out and come up with a plan...

My favourite lines / scenes in this one were:

"Strange, yeah, but that doesn't mean–"

"Don't tell me after everything we've seen, you're surprised by that."

"No, I…" Dean grimaced sheepishly. "Fine, yes, you happy now? I didn't expect something that has claws like that to come in a mini-skirt model."

And only because there was nobody else around to see them, Dean didn't shrug off Sam's hand on his shoulder on the way.

This one:

He was about to counter with, what if I don't want to show you up, except… he did. Not to tear Dean down,

because Sam usually tread softly when the inequities of their education and opportunities came up. But if

it earned him a little respect in his brother's eyes, made Dean pay attention next time? Yes. Sam wasn't

above craving that. Maybe it would even save Dean from the next "scratch."

I liked particularly, because it shows that Sam really just wants to be treated as an equal partner in their little 'ship, never just wanted to show Dean up. ...and also, Sam as well as Dean, both seem to think the other doesn't have (enough, or any at all?) respect for him. If this isn't a really good thought to start of with, I don't know what is and - like always - you handle it masterly!

More favourites:

"You sit here and finish your coffee. I'll be gone when you get back to the room."

That just sounded wrong in so many ways. Sam opened his mouth to take it all back, to call off this stupid game before Dean walked out on him…

Dean threw him a wink, and left.

Not walking out, just playing. Giving Sam a chance to show he wasn't just the little brother anymore, out of practice and out of shape.

Bragging rights. That meant a lot with Dean.

But still, some part of Sam whispered this wasn't right, that he and his brother were never meant to be on opposite sides of the hunt.

Ah... and then some banter thrown in for good measure:

Let me guess… vintage music store?"

Dean's smile melted and he glanced at the open doorway nearby and sidled a few steps away from it. "Uh, nope."

"The car show at the civic center?"

Dean's jaw sagged. "How did you—?" He grimaced; trust Sam to ruin his day's plans. "Sorry, gotta go. I think I hear a museum calling my name."

...and the idea with the 'hospital trap' was so Sam, because he just knows that this would bring Dean to him (or well, the hospital) like probably nothing else would. Unfortunately, Dean also smells traps like nothing else... and then Sam thoughts 'Sam cursed his slowness and his brother's speed.' - Great!

LOVED your descriptions of 'pain' and 'agony' as if they were alive!

...and, well, basically the entire scene where the 'azewoman' talks to Dean a second time:

Dean's finger tightened on the trigger, just as pain ripped through him like a living thing, tearing and slashing as it went.

Far worse than before, it tore a cry from him and dropped him to his knees as the gun fell from his hand.

[...] And then the agony closed in over Dean and dragged him under.

The same pain that had shoved him into darkness reached down and yanked him up out of it again.

[...] fire skittering down his nerves, sharp where the rest of the torment his body was bathed in was dull and deep.

You make Dean's thoughts/feelings so real, it nearly hurts to continue reading, but I guess that's one of the reasons I like this and especially your stories so much: everything is just right, not overdone, but real somehow. Loved this paragraph:

Dean let the gun drop, shivering and defeated. He would die here, alone, reborn as one of the monsters he hunted. He'd done this;

he deserved this. But it was Sam he would be leaving alone, and Sam who would bear the weight of guilt for not having saved Dean from

his own stupidity. Let alone how he'd feel if he had to kill what Dean had become. The horror of that outstripped even the fear of what

was happening to him.

No, he rested his hand on the warm handgun. He'd end it before it went that far.

But Dean wasn't sure that would make it any easier for Sam, either.

My fault, not yours, Sammy. Dean's eyes clenched shut, his breathing growing harsh as the pain mounted a new attack. I’m so sorry.

...and then you let us know that Sam basically feels the same way for 'having pushed Dean into this'. BRILLIANT!

I am so sorry, Sam's mind kept up a helpless chant it had started back in the motel room. I should never have pushed you into this.

Forcing his brother to prove, what, that he was the more dedicated and experienced hunter? That he was his college-educated brother's equal?

As if there had ever been doubt about any of that. Sam had let his stupid pride get between them, and now Dean was alone and in trouble,

and, God, I'm sorry. For all the good that did Dean now.

Then, something totally different, but what I also appreciate in your writing style is the way you make your reader see/hear/feelexactly what the characters in your stories see/hear/feel. One (tiny) example: the one-word-sentence 'there' followed by what Sam sees 'there':

There. Tucked between two larger buildings that boasted smoking chimneys and blazing lights,

the smaller building was unobtrusive and quiet. It looked abandoned at first glance, but Sam

could see the slightest glow in the high windows. Someone was keeping the lights on.

Again, some more content-related stuff and more things I liked: the entire interaction when Sam finds Dean. How he thinks, or rather knows, this is a trap. How Dean tries to keep Sam safe by telling him to leave and that it would be too dangerous to face the thing alone and then Sam reaction: 'He smiled achingly at Dean. "I'm not alone."' - Just perfect! ...and, not enough there... this time you even managed to write two (or even three) beautiful 'endings' in one story:

The first 'ends' the hunt itself, i.e. the scene starting with 'Alive. Alive, but fading.' ...down to Sam's declaration "I win." Then, I'm kind of inclined to call the following two lines the 'third ending', where Dean knows he's recovering, but still not really back in the conscious world or totally lucid:

Dean's eyes shut. He still didn't like this, but sleep sounded too good. Sammy would watch his back.

He sank under once more, knowing something was wrong, but the part that mattered most was just right.

...and then the third, 'real' one, ending the recovery phase, where you again managed to mix light-hearted banter with some pretty serious feelings:

Dean's smirk grew with every exchange. "Luckiest," he crowed, then canted his eyebrows in a beat that challenge.

Sam opened his mouth, shut it again.

"Uh-huh." Dean pointed at him. "See?"

"Right," Sam drawled, oddly irritated. "Because you were so lucky to get scratched right before you went into hiding."

"I had you to figure it out in time, right?" Dean said, undeterred.

[...some soup intermezzo...] and then - finally, Sam's response to Dean's eyebrow'ed challenge:

"Second luckiest," Sam murmured.

You really, really know what makes a great story and - even better - you don't seem to have any trouble writing one masterpiece after another!

You're a genius, you know? Well, I guess I already told you a few times, but this here, definitely another of my all-time favourites!

Amazing! ...and addictive, too! - Thanks loads again for sharing.

Best wishes and take care!

D.

I loved the bit in the beginning with the boys’ silent communication before they enter the building and how Dean knows he can pull rank on Sam simply by pushing his opinion—Sam’s not entering that building before him, simply because Dean raises his fingers.

This line was particularly well written: **Desperation made him fast, and rage made him strong.**

Sam’s “second luckiest” line made me grab for a pillow to hug the life out of, for sheer happiness.

Loved.

I just stumbled over this story, but I so wanted to review to it.

I loved the ending soo much. Sam's "Second luckiest" was so cute *rofl*

Great story... just wanted to let you know that ;)

Lee