No. Keep this dead, no hiding his true power bulls**t. Sick and tired of that from you wannabe author clowns.

Losing to a Thug? You're even more pathetic than I thought and quite frankly I hope you stay away from this site or your job causes you to drop dead.

Oh you watched Natsuki Crisis OVA 2! I like that

Nice! A badass kei without being vastly overpowered. I like it! Please update soon!

Even though I am not one to enjoy children violence at all, I liked the chapter. You didn't overdo anything, in my opinion, especially when Haruka and Keitaro kicked major ass. It would've been overboard, if you had them kick the crap out of fifty of them in under a minute, or something like that. Overall, it was a good chapter.

I loved this chapter! It was hilarious, but when you did the Naru bash, I felt it was crude but necessary. Thanks for writing this experimental chapter; I enjoyed it a lot.

Good idea for a different Keitaro and I think a few have made points you might do well to listen to and there are bugs I'm sure you can iron out if you do other then I think you might want to rewrite certain segments that they covered you've got a promising 'different Keitaro' here.

Also its interesting when Keitaro is in a university and not pursuing that meaningless promise there are other good universities in Tokyo you know? If you look on the reviews of An Alternate Keitaro Urashima you can look on chatper 1 and Gunman 01's review for a list of them.

Also what do you think of responses to your review on An Alternate Keitaro Urashima? I for one on my review of chapter 6 have at least tried to be respectful as have others regarding you its some other troll that the angrier words were reserved for.

Also C.R. Guy on chapter 5 also explained why things transpired like that and why Keitaro's handling is at worst flawed but understandable.

You might want to give karndragon another review if you get the time? I respect you very much and I hope you get more time for your fics though I know a few martial artists in real life and they can take on Tsuruko and Motoko and a ki attack is easy to get out of the way for a trained person or athletic.

I got curious about your stuff when I read your review I made my own disagreeing with you and trying to make my own points on the matter I hope I wasn't insulting to you or anything. I wasn't offended by your review because you were respectful and I'm the kind of guy who is all up for a civilized, down to goodness debate or something like that. Your manner and your effort to back up your words has earned my respect but onto your own story.

Also the only problem I have with chapter 1 is Keitaro is still pursuing the Tokyo University which is to frank not terribly original but otherwise you made a damn good first chapter with a promising premise to it.

Also the I have a few problems with chapter 2 is that Kitsune's change was a bit too quick for me to be really convinced because people like her do not change practically overnight.

Keitaro had some good and bad points while I agree that training with Naru and Motoko for Shinobu would invite to get beaten up further just yelling not to hurt her anymore is just as bad because it invites even more beating and it may make the perpetrator(s) like it all the more and believe me it can happen very often.

Also running away does not solve everything because what if the people attacking you are more then capable of chasing after you? They'd catch up to you and bash you or do whatever to you.

There are always other ways to handle things.

Mind you Keitaro is correct about how there can be many kinds of strengths not confined to fighting and other things.

Also Motoko's attitude in chapter 4 is not all that consistent though Keitaro was absolutely in calling her on her unwarranted attack on Haitani and Shirai who were just trying to be friendly and were not threatening or trying to assault them in any way.

I hope, I haven't offended you but I gave what I hope came across as constructive criticism like you did with An Alternate Keitaro Urashima, same as the other two who recently reviewed A Change of Pace. Also not to be insulting but this fic might need revision if you can get back into fanfiction again. But this story could well have potential if you iron out a few things.

Okay I read this story and I went ahead and read the recent reviews you got for it and I do agree with many of Hong Xiu Ying fans comments I have some of my own to add.

Chapter 1 was a good start but I agree with Hong Xiu Ying Fan you are walking down a few already tried paths with the Tokyo U promise and Kanako being sent away would have been more unique if Keitaro had another focus to his like a different university or seeking a career that's for him, know what I'm saying?

Also in chapter 2 well...I found Kitsune's reform to be way too quick and frankly given Kitsune's character and lifestyle that's not something practically overnight let alone some hours like it seems. It would take a major event for something like that to happen I'm truly sorry Mr Lee but I do not think it would happen like THAT!

Also I find some of the advice Keitaro giving to Shinobu was pretty lame...Running away? Yelling for those attacking not to hit her? For all intents and purposes begging for mercy? What the hell? That's incitement to a further beating if not a worse one mind you Keitaro definitely got it right about how Shinobu will train with Naru and Motoko the result will be Shinobu getting creamed and either way Naru and Motoko would be that good of martial arts sensei's given their temprament's and their ego's either way if Shinobu fights them she will definatily get battered to a pulp.

But as they say there are more ways then one to skin a cat however some of what Keitaro says isn't really the answer the answer can be simply to just use your head and use what means can be available to you, isn't that sounder advice?

As for Motoko I find your characterization odd she seems to respect Keitaro and she does a u-turn and calls Keitaro a weakling when he showed his prowess in the prior chapters? But given Motoko's ego, skewed sense of responsibility and her tendency like Naru's towards misandry its not surprising either.

Also not sure how you really want to portray the Shinmei Ryu except they are not god like at all because we see little much of martial arts save it in Love Hina save with Kanako who could beat Motoko and Haruka who is capable of beating Motoko for example.

But what was said about the Shinmei Ryu in chapter 4 maybe a legend but an overblown one obviously but on the other side of the coin the reality can be no match for the legend right?

Also I would like to remind you of some things about Japan:

1. Feudalism was abolished in 1871 and in 1878 the samurai class had been abolished completely.

2. There are laws and a constitution you can look them up on a search engine like google also the Japanese Police Force is different from most western countries especially the USA and the police force of Japan is a national one.

Also Japanese police officers have to pass tests and they understand the importance of training.

3. We do not see many students at the Shinmei Ryu they seem to number less then 20 at best and the dojo is not in the best of repair and its likely they sold the lands to cover debts.

4. By Negima which is some years after Love Hina the Shinmei Ryu but no longer exists in the quasi-samurai way it had existed before, because we see the women of the Shinmei Ryu wear swords openly whereas the men were the only ones who wore swords openly the women wear their swords in their clothes.

5. The Japanese authorities have recently begun a crackdown on forced marriages (though this is years after Love Hina was set I may have to check on dates) because they tend to violate almost half of the Japanese constitution. Arranged Marriages are still allowed but they are more like match making and there is the right to say no.

6. The head of the family is more a moderator and a negotiator who deals with the authorities regarding family matters at best. The entire family makes the decision to kick someone out of the family these days or stuff like that.

I know Love Hina may be something of a fantasy but facts are facts including that Love Hina is set in modern Japan how you work with or around these facts is of course up to you, if you return to this fic.

Also one complaint I had about Love Hina was there were hardly any consequences and it had many plot holes including how everyone was let off the hook and how when Su shanghied everyone to Molmol and tried to force marriage on them then let her goons open fire on Seta's plane with some still on board, care to tell me how they could possibly have forgiven Su for showing a wanton disregard and their free will? Also I was amazed Su was even let back into Japan or how her actions did not cause a diplomatic incident.

I know Love Hina was supposed to be a romantic comedy but after a second read back to back I did not care for it much at best because all I saw was wanton abuse and cruelty and all other things. Also things did not improve for everyone in the end and Keitaro was not successful in fact he was in a one sided relationship, imitating Seta and not being his own man and living a life that was not his own.

Save for Shinobu and Motoko the girls did not change for the better at all I'd say.

Also I hope you don't portray the girls as all tragic with hardships and nowhere else to go because the only one with hardships is Shinobu.

Naru just couldn't handle not being number one and being the favourite when her mom remmaried and Mei entered the picture and needed help to adjust to the new situation except Naru was too selfish to see it that way and saw it as a problme for her because she likes to be the centre of attention and feels like she's some damn princess or something.

Motoko was too childish, immature and selfish to be happy for her older sister Tsuruko for being able to find love and get married and that Tsuruko did not want the dojo.

Kitsune I do not buy into any crap she came from a bad home or a drunk father or some other crap my own theory is she came from a middle class at best who gave her opportunities she did not take instead she just lazed around, lied, cheated and stole. I really think her parents got fed up with Kitsune mooching off them and refusing to give anything in return.

Su was just childish and selfish and I'm not just talking about my example earlier where she has no regard for peoples feelings, property, privacy, well being or even their free will. Su feels her feelings are whats important and everyone else's is irrelavent and that's why there is the importance of parental control where its obvious Su's parents let her do what she wanted. Also Su whines about being heir and the arranged marriage with Lamba she could have talked to her family about also she keeps her royal title and priviliges but does not accept the responsibility.

Sarah was just a spoiled brat who never understood there were other people in the world aside from Seta the few times Keitaro tried do anything about Sarah's misbehaving in the series Naru would hit him for in fact the girls allowed Sarah to run wild and in particular Naru and Motoko condoned and even encouraged this behaviour.

Also Seta was just a stalker to Haruka lets just face it and he used Keitaro to get to her and tries bugging her into marriage which she doesn't want at all. I was disgusted that Keitaro and Naru could make the stupid conclusion that Sarah is Haruka and Seta's love child (maybe a joke but I sure as hell did NOT find it funny) I mean Haruka and Seta are Asian whereas Sarah is a white American girl with no asian features and is blonde haired and blue eyed plus her surname is either Scottish or Irish.

Also why was Seta's promise to Sarah's mom binding to Haruka where Haruka had no involvement in the decision at all? Also Seta had not even trusted Haruka with his decision to adopt Sarah and trust is absolutely critical in a relationship! Perhaps Sarah's mom meant more for Seta to look after Haruka or something either way its not terribly caring to just walk into Haruka's life (or Naru's for that matter) like nothing has happened, not even apologize or anything like that.

Also I was disgusted when almost everyone pressured Haruka into marrying Seta when they had no right and no business to do something so despicable! She didn't want it and she probably decided 'fuck it' and then do it but this is one marriage like Keitaro and Naru's that will end in divorce eventually.

All that said I think this story does have potential aside from my points you can add more to Keitaro in terms of his martial arts or his character and a few of the storylines you seem to have in mind sound decent enough.

Also back on the Tokyo U promise why is a child's promise at 5 relevant at all especially when all kind of things get said at the age and why is it still when Mutsumi switched it to Naru without even involving or even talking to Keitaro in the decision?

Mr Lee your reviews on both of karndragons fics made me curious to read some of your own stuff surprised you haven't made a review on the latest chapter of For His Own Sake I suppose you've been busy and not to be insulting but I think you may have at least missed a point or two on an Alternate Keitaro Urashima and I'm surprised you did not inquire much about Keitaro's past but the latter I'm also guilty of but thats a different matter.

On chapter 1 I liked how Keitaro was able to handle the girls qutie well including Naru, Motoko and Su and it was great how Naru got called out on her actions in the hot springs which completely disrcredited her and also what he said was true enough.

Chapter 2 was good and I liked how Keitaro saw through Kitsune and even brought up legends of real Kitsunes as a referance and his hurt was all too justified at least Kitsune was shamed into a wrong and its the first clue as to a bad event that happened in Keitaro's life. At leat he was able to make Kitsune look past her vain ways and it might get into her head tha men are not toys and neither are other people who knows this Keitaro might actually prompt Kitsune to stop just drinking, lazing around and betting on horse races and actually get her to do someting with her life, know what I'm saying?

Also Keitaro was right in stopping Naru and Motoko's 'lessons' to Shinobu given her relatively peaceful (though from I've read Keitaro might want ot refer her to a Aikido teacher from what I've read of Aikido anyway) character plus it can be true you can do more with an open hand then a closed fist but as its been said true victory comes from knowing when to fight and when not to fight.

But no disrespect intended but you did tread on a few familiar grounds and overly beaten grounds like the Tokyo U proise and Kanako still being sent away. This fic would have been more unique if Keitaro saw the Tokyo U promise for what it was a little childs promise not to be taken seriously and how kids that age say all kinds of stuff and how things can change in 13-15 years. Might have been unique if this Keitaro was in another university there are plenty of good universities in Tokyo please do not take this as an insult, I am just trying to offer you advice.

Mind you at least Keitaro is showing an attitude that is a million times more caring towards Kanako and other people then the Keitaro of the manga and the anime.

Running away from things does not always solve things but another bit of advice can be just be using your head the old saying goes is that the mind is the best weapon. That I think is one advice Keitaro could have given.

Also yelling for someone not to hurt you more this is where we disagree because the majority of times especailly in the face of bullies and violent criminals and all that it only gives them even more courage. The non violent ways to do it are:

1. Cutting remarks that damage the guys ego or humilates them into stopping. This would be uncharacteristic of Shinobu

2. Stuff like taking the assault quietly with your grunt being the most response also saying stuff like "Are you finished?" or "Did that help?" might also deflate them.

I can think of more but it always depends on the person victim and/or attacker alike if you know what I mean. Also I agree strenght can manifest itself in many different ways.

Chapter 3 was not too bad some interactions and an interesting crossover idea with Kaede Nagase though Love Hina started in 1998 and Negima in 2002 in terms of canon years so what timeline are you using.

Also better gradses with Naru maybe but the majority of them are more boasting then anything else particuarly when she spews her 'best score in the country' tripe which is really just boasting as we barely see Naru behave rationally or use her head I'd say she's further down then that.

Also chapter 4 did strike me as a bit odd but then again truly earning Naru and Motoko's respect can be one hell of an uphill battle especially if you're a guy but Motoko is the issue and Keitaro was right in calling her out because attacking innocent, untrained people who can't fight back is not honourable at all.

About me I also do martial arts I am a practictioner I take pride in it as does my Sifu and those I train with and my Sifu would not be terribly forrgiving if I use my arts in the manner that Naru and Motoko tend to do which I won't anyway because I have my heart and my pride and I am always willing to listen and all that.

Also the Shinmei Ryu do not strike me as really godlike at all as they rely on swords and ki attacks but to me that does not make them all that powerful and not to be arrogant I think I can any Shinmei Ryu practictioner as might those I train with and definately my Sifu.

Also in real life there are plenty of better martial arts they include not just Japanese but Chinese and Korean and others. You can look on the net for them if you want to though you might want to do that.

Also in anime there are plenty of characters who can easily take out even Tsuruko or Motoko particuarly from Fist of the North Star, or characters from Kenji, Real Bout High School, Strongest Disciple Kenichi, Tenjho Tenge and i can identify others as I think of them.

Also I think loads of characters from martial arts game series like King of Fighters, Street Fighter, Dead or Alive can also beat Tsuurko or Motoko the latter two series my cousin plays and I watch enough to get the gist.

Also Tezza1502 had a few plot holes in his two Love Hina fics with Leaving Hinata he ruined by portraying the girls as seemingly all tragic with nowhere to go, withe Keitaro beleiving that when in canon he din't seem to really and Kanako being portrayed very innacurately as being afraid of dissapointing Keitaro. In canon Kanako is actually much stronger then THAT nor was she ever submissive or subservient to

Also when Tsuruko was introduced A Friend in Need got ruined because he went way too far in his depcition of Tsuruko as seemingly getting away with anything and Keitaro not calling the polcie and the plotlines had gotten pretty shoddy also I stopepd reading at a certain point I'll admit it did put me off also depcting Keitaro as a saint was pretty patehetic and his restraining of Kitsune was just as pathehtic putting me off further. But to say more would put me off further which I won't do.

Also Keitaro in the manga/anime was lets face it a cowardly, selfish neurotic too focused on a stupid childhood promise he made when he was 5 incapable of showing ANYONE any GENUINE caring least of all the girls and just shuts out and becomes difficult even outright childish towards those who would REALLY try to help him, reason with him or set him straight because lets face it Keitaro was a real BASTARD to those who genuinely cared about him and had no real conception of the concepts of morality, ethical behaviour, real caring, family, friendship, compassion or even reason and understanding.

The way he treated his family was totally disgraceful and I'd really never forigive myself if I treat my parents or my younger sibling like that and how Keitaro treated Kanako was totally beyond disgraceful she may not have been saint but she definately did not warrant ANY of the treatment she got from Keitaro at all and her actions had a hell of a lot more better intentions then Hina, Haruka or the other Hinata girls especially Naru! Kanako may have had selfish motives in wanting Keitaro for herself but the rest of her reasons were born out of better intentions because how can tolerate a family member being absued like that?

Also Granny Hina lets face it she is not kind, wise or shrewd in any way she is just a goofy old bint who thinks she knows whats best for everyone when in reality she has not the slightest clue and she is more then happy to play with other peoples lives and hide the truth from others whenever it suited her even her own family members. Also Hina whenever we see her seems a hell of a lot more concerned for the girls then her own family.

Also I think she convinced Keitaro's parents to send Kanako away just because Kanako was getting close to the total shut in that is Keitaro also Kanako might well have ben good for Keitaro even open him up mentally and socially and stop being a shut in but Hina just wanted Keitaro focused on that stupid Tokyo University promise. Also the only reason Hina had Kanako go with her was so she wouldn't interfere and let her see him because she probably thought Kanako could not do anything by then and not to arouse the rest of the family suspicisons in all likelihood.

I admit this has been a long review but I figured you'd probably appreciate one including stuff with explanations and all that and I think your premise has promise and I hope you don't take any of my comments as insulting or offensive in any way while what I am trying to do is give you some opinions, observations and even advice which I like to think was presented in good and reasonable manner. In case you want to revive this fic by either revising or gettin a next chapter in and I do accept you are busy I even make time for school, part time job, hobbies including martial arts practice but also family and friends.

Good work. I look forward to the rest.

Nope, she deserves it completely. The bitch has to learn that you can't go assaulting people for absolutely no reason. Had she tried that with me, I would have sued her ass off and evicted her from the dorm.

I must say, I am glad that there are still people out there who are not afraid of breaking the norms of writing, even in fanfiction. I applaud you on a terrific story. However, why is it that you have not released another chapter? Could it be troubles in you everyday life, or maybe your muse has left you? Either way, it would be a shame if you just leave this piece as is. It is a brilliant story, please keep up the good work.

Until next time...

NIGHT SHADE

I say Haruka since she's obviously far stronger than Keitaro and will possibly nearly kill Motoko. That kendo girl really needs to get over her so-called hatred of men.

" ... a tall girl with long raven hair wearing a shrine maiden's outfit with a hand on a Shirazaya-like katana."

That's all I needed to see. :D