Great story good end of a story keep up the good work

I don't think the news people can disclose the name of a victim without there permsion and show a picture if her on the news. How did they get it anyway? Did they break into her house?

this would be 10 times better if it hard more detail in with the diologe

Hi,

I've been readind Pen Pals, but I didn't know that there was one before so while I was looking at your prfile I saw it and thought I should check it out, anyways great story, you are a really good writer.

Your reviewer,

AmaraMichelle.

this was a very interesting story! plz come out with the sequel soon!

hahaha i've had ISS before... it was horrible! so long and boring... but they didn't care if u slept so thats what i did the whole time...

wow i'm kind of scared... but in a good way! this story is really intense!

well as you know. ive been reading teenage lovers . and so happened to come across this story and honestly I LOVED IT. although it did seem a bit a rushed at was great. i see you mentioned something about a sequel at the bottome. so i am going to look for it. great job.. and teenage lovers update soon!

one of the best stories i have read and i have read alot on here lol love it! cant wait to read the rest of your new on pen pals.

Hey hun :) I'm glad you're taking your time to finish Teenage lovers before you 'go over' this one. I just wanted to tell you that frankly I think that one person was a little hard on you, sure a few things were a little different, but come on this is a story not real life! Keep up the good work SailorMoonForever :)

I get where you are coming from with a beta reader, I used to get really excited about writing a new chapter and just wanted to get it out there, but then I get review like 'that chapter was great but you need help with your spelling or grammar.' It wasn't much of a review and i hated getting them. So waiting is something I learned to do. But it is also a good thing because when you send a completed chapter to a beta reader you could start on a new chapter and then when you get the old chapter back you have the feed back from the chapter from before and you keep it in mind and you learn from it and become a better writer. I did. But since your story is complete you can find someone to look it over give you a few pointers on how to clean up the storyline a little and where you should edit. And since you have school and another fic you wouldn't have to have this fic back for a while. Giving the beta plenty of time with it. And then you can look it over when they are done.

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

Okay just a few things erk me about this story. First shouldn't Serena and Andrew be a little pissed at their mom for leaving them? I mean yeah you said she didn't know where they were at first but obviously she knew where to drop of the savings bonds for their birthdays. And shouldn't Serena resent Mina a little. I mean they are twins but she got the good life. Also what's with retelling everything. Like when Darien asked her to be his girlfriend you retold the story exactly like it happened int he next part. And how come there was nothing about how Serena got over cutting herself yeah she wasn't depressed anymore but she was still stressed. And wouldn't she have nightmares. And what happened to Raye and Ami helping also, did you forget that part. And In the hospital Darien and Serena said they loved each other but later you changed that. And also in the hospital they kissed passionately, come on she's a rape victim that wouldn't happen. I would seriously consider finding a beta reader and doing a rewrite. because you have a good idea and a good starting point you just need more detail and editing. You need to make this story more dark and less sappy. It would take a while to get over the fact that your father sold you into sex slavery and that you have to pleasure him and him you. You really need to go back and rethink this story. I did like her standing up for herself at the school, but the guy immediately apologizing and her forgiving him was a little erksome.

THIS WAS EXCELLENT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND WRITING. I CAN NOT WAIT TO READ THE SEQUEL.

I personally like that idea.