nice

Oh, that was really well done. Lovely and sad.

"They thought Peter was too old to cry here."

:::sniffle:::

Very nice story. I like the idea of at least one slaver being scared of Ed.

-Dyslexic Nerd

This is a great story.

1. You write the most natural courtly speech I have ever read. Kudos.

2. Nice job weaving in other authors - I can tell you're writing in eleckrum's universe, and I saw a Sentimental Star reference.

3. Some of #2 is nice. When Edmund started reminiscing, it went a little overboard.

4. Song lyrics as an oath of fealty is beneath you. You are too good a writer to need to borrow out-of-time-context lines.

Thanks for a wonderful read!

I am constantly surprised and delighted by the amount of people I find that write Narnia fics well. Many people in the LOTR fandom are sick. I love this, beautiful and haunting the way you capture them all (even Eustace!)

I am absolutely in LOVE w/ this oneshot.

It's beautiful...

Loved this one: no longer kings, but children. They thought Peter was too old to cry here.

Loved it!

LG Luna

Very well written, little sad. I did love the last line though about Peter killing him. It's very very true and brought a smile to a very seriouse situation. I hope you'll continue to write I'll work on reading your other stories.

Wildfire

This is a really great story fleshing out a scene which was skipped over too quickly in the original book. You've made it very clear how hard it must have been to be sold as slaves. I think some of my favorite parts are Edmund getting the slavers to untie them, his fealty oath to Peter (what was this bit about preparing for the pain to slam into him? Are you talking about emotional pain, or is there actually some physical componant when one swears a Narnian oath?), the song he sings for Lucy, and especially, Edmund's very last prayer to Aslan.

About the only thing which might make this story better would be a realization by Edmund and/or Lucy that presumably, the majority of the other slaves on the ship are Narnians, and thus, their subjects. As such, Edmund's song needed to be for them as much as for Lucy; perhaps even more, as they didn't know there was a ship waiting for their return and ready to mount a rescue expedition.

Besides that, this is a wonderful piece! Did you write Edmund's song - it's really great. You've also done a wonderful job characterizing Eustace in here, as well as Reepicheep. Great work!

Good job

This was good really good. The last memory was very sad and there might have come some tears to my eyes... One can't be sure)i absolutely loved the memory with Caspian, it was so great. Edmunds presence and how he spoke to Eustace was very good. And this part made me laugh: "Funny, my mates say the same thing about me."- That might be Ed, because you can be a little scary in the morning! Great fic, I liked it very very much!

a bit of a paradox that last sentence _ but i really like the story.

Fantastic bit of filler fiction. I love your characterization of Ed; it's spot on. So are your characterizations of Peter and Lucy. I liked how Lucy was worrying about Caspian-very touching and very in character. I loved how Ed considered Peter his king. Very moving. I also loved how Ed understands now how Peter feels. Ed's comforting Lucy is sweet, too. That prayer at the end is great. Good job! I enjoyed this.

I've read this one again and again - it is so beautifully written.

“If I could, then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go. Way up high, or down low I’ll go wherever you will go. And maybe I’ll find out, a way to make it back someday... Towards you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days.”

From a lifehouse song, right?

I don't dislike it, the story was good up until that point, but the lyrics... and how the tenses weren't changed to fit the situation, that really pulled me out of the story. :( but i like the concept~!