nice story please finish it

This story is awesome. I found this a couple days ago and had to read the crap out of it. Lol the little notes telling us what is gonna happen in a chapter or what happened in the chapter are a bit uneccessary, and vapaad didn't exist until Mace Windu created it. Just thought I would let you know. Lol keep up the good work.

Really awesome story I loved it to bad u abandoned it would die to see an update.

Is Sokka one of the children that Revan raised but Revan somehow erased Sokka's memory of it? And that would mean that Sokka could be the same guy that Toph once knew... Hm... interesting...

I just wish that you would update as this is a great story but it looks like it's been quite a while since it has been updated...

This is such a good story that deserves many times the amount of reviews that it has. I don't know if you have given up on fanfiction or not, but I do hope that you come back to this story again one day.

I loved Sokka jumping off the cliff and just waving to them as he rose from his "death" on top of his space ship. Classic.

Not only did you combine two of my favorite things (Avatar and Star Wars) but you did it so flawlessly as well. Well, there are some grammar issues here and there but that's trivial. Now, however, I'm left with this sadness cause I'll never know what happens to any of them. I never played the game so I don't know how these characters would connect at the end .. so I'm left in the dark .. le sigh. Anyways, it was a blast reading what was here .. so thanks for that _

Firstly let me just apologise for taking so long to actually read and review these two most recent chapters, and please don't think that the delay in any way reflects my true enjoyment of this wonderful story. *facepalm*

The description of the three dangerous ladies, just sitting around in Azula's heavily armed shuttle, was great to read since they each seemed so in character. Azula's reasons for not attacking directly, but instead waiting to see where her prey would led her, made a great deal of sense, although I can see why Ty Lee would hate all the inactivity. Mai's unspoken concerns as to Azula's intentions, and her rather clever method of uncovering them without revealing her sympathies, was a really nice bit of writing. Oh, and while Azula may have been amused by Ty Lee's complaints after only two days of waiting, I rather imagine that she will have found the joke to be wearing a little thin long before Wolf and the Jedi actually make their move. :D

Tracinya is clearly a very dangerous individual, and therefore also a very intriguing one, I do worry though that her presence in the story might undermine the threat presented by Azula and company, which would be a shame. That being said though, her impression of the Predator, as she travelled through the trees and on into the Wookie stronghold unobserved, was certainly convincing. Her reaction upon recognising Sokka, and her decision to leave him alive for now, gives us a small glimpse into their common history and suggests that their next meeting will prove to be even more interesting. :)

I loved the description of the Forsaken, and their fortress base. The fact that there were three Forsaken leaders seems highly significant, since, if I remember it correctly, there were originally five, then four children in Sokka's visions. Given their conversation here, it seems pretty clear that Sokka must have been their fourth member, even if he has no conscious recollection of ever being so. Of the three of them, Nynir seems the most dangerous, if only because of his obvious intelligence, with Tacinya only just behind him. Kandosi is also clearly a very dangerous individual, but his struggle to remain composed when hearing Tacinya's news, rather suggests that, despite appearances, he is actually the weakest of the three by virtue of the fact that he seems the type to act without first thinking things through. :o

Given his Sifu, I can't help but feel sorry for Sokka as his training begins, still I was glad to see that Toph didn't treat Sokka too harshly for once, especially since she is still rather upset about what she thought she witnessed a couple of chapters ago. The descriptions of the various fighting styles used by the Jedi, and the logic behind them, was really well presented (even if I did feel that perhaps I ought to have been taking notes, lol). The combat practice was another really well described action scene, and it was good to see that Sokka was competent enough to at least force Toph into using more of her strength than perhaps she had initially intended. Still, I can't avoid the feeling that, even if he didn't actually know it, Sokka was the one who was really holding back on his true potential.

My favourite moment of these two chapters had to be the rather emotional scene where Sokka gets Toph to talk about the time when she almost fell into darkness, and his understanding of the way that she was saved only by the bond she had had with the other Sokka. This moment was particularly touching because Toph really isn't the sort of person to allow people to see her more vulnerable side, and so I would be surprised if Sokka wasn't the only person that she had ever chosen to share that deeply personal story with. _

Oh, and what's this "Hey, earth to Sokka!" business, lol, shouldn't Toph have said "Hey, Kashyyyk to Sokka!" instead. ;)

This is really such a great story, and I'm really looking forward to seeing where you take it next, so update when you can! )

Review for chapter seven...

Ok, i liked the combat, very intense, but you really should turn it into paragraphs, it hurt my eyes reading it since it was so clustered together. Also, it seems a little long and drawn out for one chapter, maybe you should consider shorter ones or chopping up the fight into different chapters? that way it beefs up your chapter count and gives people something to look forward to.

also, you seem to do alot of repetitive words, like saying the name of a weapon four times in the span of a five sentences. try changing it up, like instead of vibro ax 5 times, you could say his weapon, his blade, his deadly implement, etc. the repition of the same words causes most people to lose interest and start to unconciously skip parts of it. otherwise, very well done, nice little gag about the high ground in there, and i see you gave him bracers and leg guards of the material his sword was made out of, nice touch.

Jalein foxkin

Chapter 4 review...

Well, i definitely like it more then chapter three, much easier to read this time around. also, i enjoyed the interaction still, though i do feel that sokka and tophs feelings for each other are a little too strong on either basis and ultimately, very tragic seeing as how toph is a jedi. anyway ,love the story, keep going

chapter 3...

not my favorite one. Sokka and Toph were never like this, ever. They had their cute moments and points where he made her blush and embarass the hell out of herself, but come on, she practically threw herself at him. Also, he wouldnt butter her up so much. Also, the script being so massed together made it hard to read, you might want to section it off into paragraphs or something. Still like the story, but this isnt one of my favorite moments personally

Jalein Kitsukin

ok, review on chapter two...

well, i like how you incoporate so much of both worlds into the story, and it seems almost natural. its actually something of a guessing game. Who's going to be next? who would be force sensitive and who wont be? etc etc. still have some grammar and spelling errors but nothing perfect. Can't complain too much but i think its a little odd that they are so...spirited as jedi. They preach against such emotion, correct? well, i suppose some things have to be compromised in the story to mesh, but otherwise, nicely done.

Jalein kitsukin

Alright, first thing i'd like to say is i enjoy the crossover, very in character for some of the characters. I dont feel Azula was fully played to character though, she's more of a tactical genius then Sokka, though Sokka is good at improvising. I can't even see Ty Lee as being a sith, unless her powers come from her passion and fear of Azula. Mai...well, she's kinda even less so on that point since she doesnt feel anything. I mean, she's more Jedi then anything. aside from some other grammar errors though, it was very good, though you might want to lay low on some of the more obvious throwbacks to Kotor, like specifically naming some of the powers used, just a thought.

Jalein Kitsukin

For your first fanfic, it's amazing. I love the tokka parts, and all the misunderstandings, (makes a good story better always) And on top of it Im a huge star wars fan, putting these two together is amazing, I admit, I wasnt too sure about it originally, but this is my favorite Tokka fanfic currently. I hope you update soon, and keep this story going. its unique and amazing.

Oh I do like long chapters, especially when they are as well written and compelling as this one, I'm just sorry that I'm so late with this review. *facepalm*

Given the massive extent of the damage that Sokka sustained from the Terentatek's attack in the last chapter, it seemed as if there was going to be no way for him to recover, but you somehow found a way to make his miraculous survival seem quite believable here. I especially liked the fact that Katara still possesses powerful healing abilities in this brilliant AU, even if they weren't quite enough to save Sokka on their own. :)

As for the concurrent events on Dantooine, well it seems that our heroes now have a powerful new enemy to contend with. Hmm, assuming that the disturbance in the force that she sensed came from Wolf, and given that this disturbance was similar to that she had previously felt from her two brothers, I have to wonder just what her connection to Wolf actually is, and whether she is in fact one of those children from Sokka's strange visions. :o

I really enjoyed the Katara's gentle interrogation of Sokka in the infirmary, as she made her first real attempt to try and understand him by actually listening to what he had to say without first jumping to any conclusions. Since Katara has, for quite understandable and 'in character' reasons, been very mistrustful of Sokka so far, it's actually quite moving to see her reassess her feeling for the enigmatic mercenary. _

Sokka's tale of the events of his and Yue's mission to locate the Scarlet Dagger, was a really brilliant story in it's own right, even though it was a little odd to realise that Katara was only getting a censored version of Sokka's memories. Yue was an incredible character here, her patience with Sokka, and with his prejudices concerning the Jedi, was actually a real pleasure to read. I am particularly impressed with the way that you wrote the romantic aspects of their relationship, it seemed natural, pure and in no way forced, which, although you made it seem easy, almost certainly wasn't, so kudos. _

The fight scene in the Scarlet Dagger's hidden base on Vjun was really well described, certainly I felt that I could easily visualise the action, which given my general lack of imagination is actually saying quite a lot, lol. I confess that I felt a little sorry for all those anonymous Sith soldiers, since they stood no real chance of surviving this encounter, and I also found that I was oddly uncomfortable about the fact that it was Yue who dispatched so many of them (not that they gave her much choice though). I really liked the way that, with Yue distracted by the tanks, it was Sokka who had to face the highly skilled Zhao in combat. That Zhao was merely toying with an inferior opponent felt just right, even if Sokka is my favourite character, because if a strong enemy is too easily defeated it can weaken the entire story. So after temporarily putting Sokka out of commission, his battle with Yue was great to read, even though we kinda knew it wasn't going to end well. Sokka's reaction to his loss was really well written, as was his sudden transformation. The way that he so completely turned the tables on Zhao, was made more convincing precisely because the Sith had been such a powerful adversary earlier in the fight. That it was Yue's spirit who stopped Sokka falling completely into darkness, was a great idea, since it fitted so well within the rules of both fandoms. )

I really felt for Toph when she witnessed the hug between Sokka and Katara, but then I remembered just how much she's been enjoying punching Sokka when he's down, so I kinda feel that perhaps she sort of deserved it. :D

Update soon! )