Great

oh, boy. Sheila hang in there!

Poor Sheila, I hope in the end her friends come, they will come out of this as they always do.

eh?! What is going on? If Venger thinks she'll help him, he's got another thing coming.

Yikes! What does Venger want with her?! If I were Sheila, I'd be scared out of my wits! I hope Hank and the others save her.

This story is very dark. Good but would have liked for the story to slow down a little. But that's just my opinion. Good job. Off to read your other stories.

It was a good chapter. I'm especially fond of the first paragraph describing Denora's vision of Sheila.

I think that Sheila would be a little more worried about Bobby.

What is Venger up to?

An inner light, almost an aura, seemed to hang around her. Especially in this dark place in Venger's deepest dungeon.

How would she see that? Does she have some unusual sense that allows her to see?

Sheila lay before her.

Who told her Sheila's name?

She crawled into a ball and lay there shivering. Her head ached. The world seemed to come at her in waves.

Careful! You are switching from Denora's POV to Sheila's without transition.

Well, there was no use crying about it.

Is this a thought?



Especially in this dark place in Venger's deepest dungeon.

No, better to clean the wound before anything else.

No one else, just her. Her and her thoughts.

Then something had happened. But what?

Corrections Needed: Sentence Fragments. These should probably be combined with the previous sentence in some way. Fragments are considered okay for thoughts or speech.

Where am I? she thought to herself miserably.

Possible Correction: 'Where am I?' she thought to herself miserably.

Someone had obviously attacked her, and who or on whose orders was obvious.

Suggested for Clarity/Style: Someone had obviously attacked her. Who or on whose orders was obvious.

Wow! This was very simply told, but you pulled me right in. I thought Sheila's indulgence in the wine a little odd, but it's very possible that it's enchanted to lower her inhibitions-I wouldn't put anything past Venger!

"No one will ever want you again." Not just as a friend, but he's effectively told her that even if she escaped, Hank won't touch her. Venger is on a mission to crush her spirit to splinters...She will be alone even when she is surrounded by servants. Effective.

"Mine forever." I get the odd feeling that Venger is lonely, and is very pleased that Sheila will be his. He can't make friends or woo a woman, so he has to take them by force.

Going to read the rest!

Ah, to be bound to Venger. . . . Sounds like a rather nice fate to me. But I suppose it would depend upon how he treated me. If he was a complete jerk, it could be hell, I guess. Still, I would love to drink Venger's blood. I so would. But you know that. Good chapter.

;-)

I guess Denora's warning Sheila in advance wasn't such a good idea. Sheila just isn't the type to handle this well unless she finds a "happy place" and retreats within herself. She rarely displayed a strong sense of self in the cartoon. She's doomed.

Noo, Venger could never think himself evil, could he? haha

I like to imagine Venger and Sheila dining together. Their mannerisms were a little out of character, but I'm willing to forgive it just to see them interacting. :-)

For example, it's hard for me to imagine Sheila willingly drinking wine — even harder to imagine her actually getting a refill of it.

And Venger could have been lying (or at least not telling the whole truth) when he said he left her cloak for her friends to find. I mean, would he actually pass up possessing one of their weapons?

I like his point about there being more than one side of the story.

Lastly, I keep imagining "Farmer Venger" when he mentions his garden. Overalls and hoe and straw hat.

Denora is a good character to have for Sheila. I believe that if not for her, Sheila would have been overwhelmed by her circumstances — being alone, not knowing where her friends are, and knowing Venger is her captor yet not what he plans for her. I think Denora is that one stitch that holds together her sanity.

A good description of the abuse of power, and the extremes Venger could go to, if he wanted to. (Not convinced about him actually doing that, but that's beside the point).

Him showing her all that he had done was very effective - and a good way to show the range of Venger's power.

*reviews, for fish*

Sealgirl

The "Look at me." gave me chills. Subtle yet sensual. M.

hell no, let shelia kick vingers ass and then she escapes!