aw that's so sad but sweet.

is that the end?

what happened to BB?

poor Cy. you'd think bumblebee might come around sometime :p

great story!

:p

OMG i love you! you rock so hard!

tottly going to story alert! _

-malady's angel (the chic that wrote when rain falls in hogworts)

Is this the end?It's so beautiful..

your a curel and evil person bunny...now update this damn story because i am addicted to it you evil wench!

Aww ...Cy ..poor poor Cy :(

Aw...so touching..

Aww...what happened to Star?I may not like her but I'm just curious..

Aww ...she seems a lil lost :(

Great story!

Author's Notes

-Kinda petty, I know, but you repeated your author's notes twice. And it's good to divide the author's notes from the actual fic by using a line or something.

Punctuation

-I'm a punctuation fascist by nature; I noticed you made a few mistakes. Here...

/“Looks like a dead end.” Taunted the crime-fighter. /

... ending the quote with a period was wrong. A comma should have been there because the other half connects to what's in quotes. You end quotes once the thought is finished and the following sentence doesn't relate to what's in the quotes anymore. So, editing the sentence...

/“Looks like a dead end,” taunted the crime-fighter. /

See? The crime fighter's taunts is in quotes, so both clauses connects.

Another one...

/“Y-you don’t understand…my family…they need me…” pleaded the robber./

The ellipses (...) preceeding 'pleaded' is wrong. A comma should be there instead; the comma connects the two clauses. It's a couple more punctuation mistakes, especially in your quotes.

Syntax

-Sentence structure was a little odd in certain places. Some of your sentences made me do a double take. Like here...

/He wasn’t right. Everything was all but easy for this hero./

This is a classic example of making simple thoughts complicated to understand. Rewriting that sentence in simpler terms...

/He was wrong. Everything wasn't easy for this hero./

'He was wrong' flows much better than 'he wasn't right.' If you aren't right, you're wrong. Same difference. It depends on what sounds better. And I elimininated the 'all but easy' part. Too complicated, and it makes the readers back up and re-read the sentence. Say what you want in the best way possible. Stories are all about the flow; don't forget that.

Another sentence that makes the eyes do a double-take...

/The pride in his voice only made the man hate Nightwing more, and more with each passing second./

Punctuation's wrong on top of the sentence reading funny. I'll break it down for you. It's not totally clear in that sentence whose voice is full of pride. Clarifying the posession...

/The pride in Nightwing's voice only made the man hate him more and more with each passing second./

Corrected the punctuation error. 'More and more' is a bit cliche. Eliminating it...

/The pride in Nightwing's voice only made the man hate him more with each passing second./

Much better than the original sentence.

Spelling

-Had a couple of typos like 'dangeros.' As a precaution, use spell check to avoid little typos like that.

Descriptions

-Basically, you 'told' us, you didn't 'show' us. Your descriptions really didn't put a visual in my name.

Conflict

-There's a lack of conflict in your fic. Conflict keeps the readers engaged. Towards the end, the whole scene between Nightwing and Raven, there wasn't enough conflict towards the end. Wouldn't Raven put up more of a fight if she truly didn't wanna be outside? Wouldn't she scream, attack, or do something else to Robin? Conflicts between characters are about risks. The characters realize what they risk gaining and losing. What would Raven lose going outside? Her risks have got to be more defined. If she didn't risk anything, she wouldn't have resisted Robin in the first place.

Final Comments

-A decent story you've got going here. Just work on your punctuation, syntax, descriptions, and character conflict. Do that, and you'll have a helluva fic.

-Nova.

OOh, this is good! I love the plot, I always wondered why Raven was in a mental institute in that one episode... Anyways, are you going to continue this? If so, I'll be waiting!

really interesting... raven is kinda creepy in here, but that's what makes this story quite engaging. update soon.. :P

Interesting XD i shall be reading on :P