this is really cute! lol apollo becomes a pointy-haired snowman!

Aw, this was cute. I was in the mood for some family fluff. I liked the insight on Trucy and the beginning really nabbed my attention. It got a bit sporadic toward the end- like maybe a time shift occured? I liked the over-all flow, it just seemed like the ending sort of popped up on me.

But, regardless, I did enjoy this. It was sweet and believable- we all have that human desire not to be alone and I'm sure Trucy's would be strong. This was a nice read.

Aw, this was so touching, particularly the scene with Apollo. I really liked this.

That was a really good story. The sad beginning was very nicely balanced out with the happy end-had there been too much or too little of either the sad or the happy, there would've been an odd feeling to it. Good job on that. Great grammar and spelling-I think there might've been one typo, but I can't find it. I really enjoy reading stories like this-there don't seem to be many, so it's a nice treat. 10/10, and fav.

What a sweet story! I love the way you characterized Trucy. She's positively adorable! This was very well thought out; 'loved it. :D

Hm, this story is pretty good. I like how you tried to divulge into Trucy's insecurities and expose the weakness she knows and hates. The brief cameo of the past with Trucy recalling Thalassa and Zak is simply endearing yet painful. I love how you made Trucy connect to Zak disappearing act to search for Thalassa. And I also love the comments about how she's always left behind in the end, even at school with her friends. My heart went out to Trucy then.

But later on, I found the story pitter-ing to an abrupt stop. I felt you only scratched the mere surface of Trucy's character, and I don't blame you. Actually, I commend you for even trying. But I wish you went a bit deeper and tried to scrape up all that her sad persona has to offer. Yes, she is precocious, but she is also childish at times; that's why I believe there is more to her character than I believe.

The ending felt like there was no change within Trucy. I kind of wished you expanded her feelings of comfort and safety with Apollo and Phoenix a bit more, rather than choosing the cute, humorous ending.

Also, a note on writing, every time someone else speaks, you should start a new paragraph.

i.e., Huddled close to Trucy and Phoenix for warmth, Apollo asked through chattering teeth, “W-where’s that d-darn taxi?” Trucy looked up, smiling, through the snowflakes. “Daddy? You did remember to call a cab, right?”

It should be:

Huddled close to Trucy and Phoenix for warmth, Apollo asked through chattering teeth, “W-where’s that d-darn taxi?”

Trucy looked up, smiling, through the snowflakes. “Daddy? You did remember to call a cab, right?”

It's easier on the eyes, and although it seems pretty stupid right now, it actually helps convey your point more clearly. This way, your readers can never get confused with who is really talking in the paragraph.

Another thing is when someone talks, you shouldn't capitalize what the person is doing. Um, to be more precise, see the example below:

“Be right there!” She shouted over her shoulder.

It should be: “Be right there!” she shouted over her shoulder.

I mean, if it works one way, then it should work the other way, right? (i.e., His voice gentle, he said, “Oh, Trucy… I didn’t mean to scare you!...") You kept "he" and "said" in lower-case, so it should be the other way around if you wrote the dialogue and typed down "he said" after the quotations.

Sorry, but I'm picky about this stuff. Hopefully this was enlightening in some way. If it wasn't, then well...at least I tried, right?

Overall, it was definitely a pretty good story. You have potential, but it's all about improving your talent further and further. Although I think your niche is more on the fluffy, cute side rather than the angst. "

aw that was so cute! aw poor trucy, she's scared everyone will leave her behind. aw the ending was really cute!