“ Privately, I thought he was a few French fries short of a Happy meal, but if he was the one deciding if I lived or died… who was I to judge?” LOL. This was my favorite line. I was dying laughing.

Alice is sooooo annoying

Good chapter

Glad she glares back

Good story. Just rereading it

Excuse me?how Edward was idiot when SOMEONE told him to stay the hell away?

how could you do this to me?!

You suck

So...does Edward think she smells good or something? Is he disgusted by her red eyes? Does he NOT know she's a vampire?

Amazing story!

There were a few things I noticed. I'm sorry if anything comes out wrong here... I'm working on fixing that.

Usually in stories like this, Bella is automatically guilty for drinking human blood so she switches. I'm glad that she didn't ... start her vampire life like Carlisle did.

I noticed a mistake in chapter 2. (most of the things I noticed are like this.) She sees the cullens in the morning getting out of the car, but at lunch it says something like "and then I saw them". You describe them as though she's never seen them before, but she just saw them get out of their car that morning.

Bella and Volturi company have red eyes when they get there, don't they? Are they wearing contacts? You didn't mention anything about their eyes... If they went with red eyes things wouldn't have turned out too well...

When Bella is feeding, she doesn't show any regret towards what she's doing. It is mentioned though, so I'd suggest just putting a paragraph in that was something like: "This was what I hated most about being a vampire-taking the lives of innocent people." or something. I think what I wrote is a bit too dramatic, but you could do something along those lines.

I actuallly wrote a chapter number here... I liked chapter 16. Usually I don't like when a chapter is told in two people's POVS. In that chapter however, there are two different things going on there-the story is different depending on whose POV it was told from. It's nice.

That's about all I wrote for notes...

keep up the great work! :) :)

Tarah xXx

Hmmm...she doesn't like Aro and Edward intrigues her...I hope this happens sooner than later.

She obviously had, at one time, an aversion to drinking human blood. It probably wouldn't take much to convince her there was another way.

AH! LOVE. STILL. EXCELLENCE.

Oh. My. God. I LOVE THIS! I love the way that Bella's friends brought out her funny...ness. I also love that you showed these Voultori people as more than just evil, that they can function like a family. Like the Cullens. LOVE LOVE LOVE. You're brilliant. Ok, going to read more.

You made me cry! ),; I was listening to the girl who broke in two by Paul Freeman and it just fit so perfectly!

Beautiful beautiful story! Absolutely lived it! Great work!

Ps listen to the song!