Damn, that's how the story ends? Just how deep does it go? Well, I suppose it is the mob, but still. An excellent ending to the story. Just sad more people didn't review it.

Kinda moot point to review so many years later, seeing as how you probably quit in 2009, but I thought this was a really well thought out story, that had a lot going for it. I think your biggest problem is that it isn't about one of the Ace Attorney members. This chapter in particular really got to me, as it showed a human side to Gordon

Whoa, this is awesome. I've read through the first case, and then this, and I'm really impressed. Seriously, this stuff rivals the actual Ace Attorney series. You've managed to come up with two riveting cases with more than the quota of plot-twisting surprises! It's great to know there are writers here who can come up with this epic stuff.

Eh, criticisms, there's not many, but some things could be done to make this better. For one, Ian makes me think a lot of Payne. I really doubt that's the image you wanted. More on the characters, they seriously lack... character- specifically, "endearing character traits" as Gumshoe once put it. I just mentally see your cast as bunch of guys in drab suits, nothing standing out among most of them. The only individuality I've seen so far are in Clara (blueberry popsicles lol) and the witnesses, Mortercycle(intentional typo?), Holly Wreath, and Roger Watcher. Everyone else is just... businessmen, you get what I'm saying? Try briefly mentioning some descriptions of characters as they interact, even if that trait has already been mentioned before, so as to give the audience a better mental picture of the events.

Also, taking on the entire NY mob? That's ambitious for a lone defense attorney. And there's Truth's past to cover. Ah, in due time, I suppose. I'm curious, anyways.

Aside from the characters, nothing here is really lacking. I'll get to the next case sometime, like after I finish the homework I should be doing, but in the meantime...

Keep it up! (This is sort of a sig of mine...)

After probably more than a year of telling myself I would get around to reading and critiquing Ioniclunch's stories eventually, I'm back. Sorry for like, dropping off the face of the Earth. The good news is, I've got a year of Creative writing under my belt now, and can better...critique stuff. XD

Still love Gordon. His personality is great; funny, but deep, because of the secrets we know he has. I think the fact that Coffee makes him drowsy is a cool little quirk that makes him a very unique character.

I loved how you described the apricot walls, how they made Gordon feel nauseous. It's a great way to describe the setting through Gordon's eyes, characterizing him at the same time, as opposed to just giving a description. I'm currently trying to perfect this, and I find that it's very dificult to do. Kudos.

Gordon's internal thoughts are also brilliant. :)

Is the fact that Sid Herms had to ask what floor he was on in his own office building part of the plot? Or is that a tiny error?

In one paragraph near the end of the chapter I picked up on a severe need for sentence variation. I awoke...I stood...I staggered...I switched...It stands out.

Ignore me if I'm crazy, but if Herms was thrown from the thirtieth story of a building, I doubt the police would need to tell the media how he died. I think they'd assume he was...squashed. Of course, a little voice in my head is telling me he could have been dead before he fell, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Wasn't Gordon wearing his suit? When did he get the T-shirt he was wearing when he woke up? Again, could be crazy here. I'm the only reader who would notice something like that. XD

Oh, finally, the last sentence would work better with a period rather than a semicolon. In my humble opinion.

I'll try and read the second chapter soon and get back on the ball with this beta'ing thing. XD

-JKC

Wha-wha-wha-what?

Ben's going to try and kill Gordon? That's just... that's just...

Well, it's good storytelling I can say.

This story was fantastic. Its better than the first one; MUCH better than the first one, which was still pretty good.

Clara's cool. You'll have to make sure popsicles stay with her character motif. And the murderer? Well, I suspected it ever since I found out about the romantic side of the story, but I didn't think you'd actually do it!

As for the contradictions... nothing... really took me by surprise. It's ok though, because I have a genius IQ (seriously! I'm not lying! Seriously!)

The ONE problem I had was that it seemed Gordon flip-flopped a lot on whether the window was broken before or after the crime scene. Perhaps it was typos but... he changed his opinion on that at LEAST three times.

And Ian Vice.., isn't all that formiddable. For some reason, his cases remind me of Payne... lacking.

But you're an amazing writer and I'll be sure to read the third one when its finished! (Can't stand reading stories like this when they end in cliffhangers... even though I do it ALL the time).

-Max

Um... the rock?

Kids these days DO like throwing rocks in windows.

It's either Ken or Pat. I'm only torn because I can't remember if Pat would have a card key or not.

Body Transportation would be the window washer's thingy of course!

A witness? Odd question to ask but... Ken, Pat, and Gordon were on the 17th floor... it must be one of them!

Figured I might as well take a guess...

Camera! He heard the camera bulb shattering, which would lead to the four photos NOT being taken by him, meaning that he's a phony witness!

That has to be it. Very good story, BTW.

Glad to see you're continuing this _ I mean, already knew, but, yeah, it did seem like the end. Nice cliffhangar, tho :D Was that Ben? Really weird... it's what Gordon gets for bullying everyone, tho xD

And this was awesome... really epic, especially for a second case. I really don't understand why you don't have many reviews... I seriously don't.

And, unlike the first case, this one was rock solid. Good job on that! :)

Except, if Ken took Holly's card, then how did she get it back? o.o

Actually, it's spelled deus ex machina. But nice french interpretation, btw, and I didn't know how to spell it until I looked it up on Wikipedia xD

But I was wrong about the accomplice \ I figured it out when Gordon said “But it makes sense! If Ken Cline only had five minutes, then the idea that the murder took place on the seventeenth floor is very probable!” tho _

Anywayz, everything has basically been proven now, and we know what's happened, so now it's time for the wrap-up. :)

WHEE!

Wow. It's the second trial, and you've already gotten to the truth debate! You're going fast xD

Reminds me of 4-1 a lot, too...

Anyway, almost done! _

Why did the window washers throw a rock into the office?

Oh well. I guess that's for you to figure out and then tell us in the form of an entertaining story _

btw...

*confetti falls all over the place*

YAY ME! _

Also, this is what should have happened:

The judge slammed his mallet, “I’m sorry about this Mr. Cline, but could you please tell us about the night of the murder?”

Ken studied his fingernails smugly, “And why should I?”

The judge narrowed his eyes. “E-excuse me?”

Ken sighed and then spoke matter-of-factly. "I plead the fifth. After all, if I testify, Mr. Truth might show that I actually did do it!" He paused. "Oops."

Ken is the killer. Evidence is the key card. Witness is Pat. (or maybe the other way around for Ken and Pat)

I'd like my certificate of having an IQ of over 200 now. :P

However, I have one little problem. Here is the timeline:

-Roger hears the scream and glass shattering

-Roger takes 2 photos

-Glass shatters

-Roger takes 2 photos

See where I'm going? Meh. I probably just assumed that he heard both before taking pictures so it's all good xD

Now to confirm that I'm right about this _ (I'm not usually this arrogant and stuff, but I'm really confident because Holly made a big deal about having a blue key card, and now Ken has it!)

Curiouser and curiouser! I was expecting a witness from the outside.

I can't figure out if it's the glass case being broken, Grave stepping on glass (although I don't think it's that), or the camera bulb breaking... hm...

I guess I'll just go to the next chapter and find out _

And all your characters are still great! :D

O...

M...

G...

;JAKWEGI3L9;XKJVDAKSL

Of all people, KEN is the murderer? What is going on here?

After all, Ken was on the 17th floor with Pat and Gordon, plus he had Sid's BLUE key card... we know it's not Holly's, since she had her at court.

That's crazy. Just crazy.