HELL YAAAAASS! This is 100% true true true! But maybe I only think that because in totally team Jacob...

Loved it:) you are awesome.

Finally! I am sick of Edward lovers.

You havent gone far enough but you are off to a good start
Lets get a little deeper shall we?
Dedweird is a controlling abusive creepy stalker. He is both emotionally and sexually manipulative. He controls every aspect of the physical side (as little physical side as there is. No bella its dangerous, the time isnt right, we will try AFTER you marry me at 18 years old. He belittles bellas intelligence and judgement. He controls where she can and cant go and who she can and cant see. He will use lies, physical control (there are several incidents of Bella being manhandled by the corpse as well as his sister) He has damaged her property to prevent her going anywhere. Does Bella ever call him on it? Nope. But if anyone critizies Dedward she says that they are not being fair or they dont understand. Bella does not care who dedward is. Is unconcerned that he is a mass murderer. This what it comes down too. Bella is probably incapable of attachment without abuse. Her beliefs about love co,me from those stories that she read. You dont sacrifice who you are for love. Thats not love. Thats something you do because you think you arent worthy and because you are afraid. Bella is a complete selfish, narcisistic scared little girl. She is unable to accept living life on its own terms. She does not have the courage or the heart to take those chances. Jake could leave or imprint or stop loving her. Jake is too good for her and will find that out. If she just throws her life away. Dedweird will never leave because he is incapable of it. She will not be alone. Dedward manipulated those emotions like a pro. Fed those insecurities. Dedweird and Bella deserve each other. Bella deserves that pain and regret.

hhah so funny and so true i agree i also think that he looks like he just jumped into a load of baby powder. no one should have hairy pecs/abs should be against the law

Haha I love this!

Lists are not allowed. You have been reported.

TEAM JASPER! and Jacob, too, but mostly Jasper!

~Kitty

The part with the wall? I got a mental image of him, camouflaged and all :D

100th review!

awesome :DD

Hahahahaha nice xDD

I hte Edward Cullen he is so overprotective!

Oh wow, I love this. TAKE THIS, JACOB HATERS!

~Izzy

I sorry but I have to completly disagree. Dont worry, I wont be mean about it, I just want to give a different look at it since I am team Edward.

-yes he is very overprotective. But think about it, if you were constantly in life treatening situations, wouldn't you want him by your side. And even though he was hesitant at first, he still let her go see Jacob, even though it posed a threat in order to make her happy. I think it really shows how much he loves her to spend that much time insuring her safety.

-I had to laugh at that, but you have to remember that Edwards skin is smooth as granite and bella was never being uncomfortably crushed by his lips. She often said that they were very smooth and since she was seriously addiscted to kissing him, it obviously was an enjoyable experiance.

-Yes his skin is as white as snow as stephanie Myer put it, but remember, Bella said that after hunting his cheeks would have a taint of pink to them. He was only truely that pale when he hadn't hunted in a long time. And in the end when Jacob lovers say Jacob cant help being a werewolf, Edward cant help being a vampire.

-Edward himself dosent make Jacob miserable. Open your mind and really think about it. Jacob and bella were best friends, he was patching up her broken heart and he was her best friend. But it all became difficult when Edward returned, Bella took him back and Jacob was left, still in love with Bella. In the end, Edward was courtious and kind, it was Bella who broke his heart over and over before it took him over the edge and he ran away.

- It is quite inconveniant that Edard is a vampire. It means either leave Bella and allow her to age and have a happy life, or turn her. Then when Jacob turns to a werewolf, it makes it more complicated as they are mortal enemies. It's inconveniant, but once again, not something he can controll.

-Bella claimed that Edward dazzled her, but he hadn't even realized that he was doing that. Read the unfinished Midnight sun. He didn't look at Bella to try to controll her emotions untill much later on. He only used them on Mrs. Cope. Remember, Bella was drawn in because they stood out from the entire student body. Yes they were beautiful, but she stated that they were so much paler, sat completly still, didn't seem to be talking, and didn't touch their food.

-I think they still would have gotten together because Bella was not gonna stop untill she uncovered the Cullen secret, and Edward would have still fallen in love with her when he went in her window. Thus, they would have gotten together.

-Yes he lied to her, his one major mistake that lead to all the complications. But how can you think he was only trying to act like the good guy? Remember in twilight when he said he cred the most because he would be willing to hurt himself t keep her safe? it transfers off to New Moon. Her life could have ended, and so overcome in fear of the possiblility of her life cut short by his existance, he leaves, suffering deaply so she could in time lead a good, healthy, safe life in the end.

-I actually struggled with that scene in the book myself for a long time, trying to understand and I finally do-i think... Edward knew that Bella loved Jacob in a way and Jacob loved her. He knew that she would be better off with Jacob and had I believe redied himself if she were to leave him for Jacob. He understood that she loved him and after she kissed him, I believe thos, as well as the knowledge that she ad accepted his proposal rather that Jake's allowed him to be so calm. But you also have to put in perspective that he has already lived believing she was dead, that she wouldn't take him back, that she truely didn't love him enough to marry him, and a world where he couldn't be with her. He's over a hundred years old and has already gone through hell, I think he's a bit more immune to jealousy than humams were and is far more mature than Bella or Jacob due to that lenghty existance.

-Cows blood is a vampires form of being a vegitarian. really, how would you feel if you lived in the twilight world and Edward sucksed you dry? It would suck and you would be insanely grateful that he feeds on anuimals instead.

-remember, he was hesitant to tell Bella when he was really born because he was afraid of her reaction(midnight sun unfinished chapters) I think in the beginning italways loomed over his head, not only that he was so much older, but also the vampire part. Bella dosent care not because she's dumb, but because she trly dosent care. She loves Edward no matter how old he is and it dosent make the slightest differenct to her.

I throughly apologise if any of this insults you. I was trying to be very nice and just give another view of this. Although I dont truely agree with this, I did think it was funny, even if it is a list. I have to admitt I'm kinda shocked that their were no mentions of of it being a list and blah blah blah on not belonging on fanfiction. I think it's insane because hating Jacob lists are littlered with those, that's when I get mad and do a lenghty review at said negative reviewer rather than the author.

I have to admitt, I thought I'd be doing a flame since I figures this would be comepletly based off of Edward leaving, so I think that's why I like it so much, as so many flames after reading hating Jacob lists are solely based on the fact that Edward left and it makes me mad. It makes it seem that the entire Jacob Black Fanbase in only based on Taylor Launtner and anger over Edwards departure. It's nice to know that you guys can rant over something other than those two factors.

I'm sorry for all the spelling errors, I'm so tired and have bailed on doing my homework to read this stuff. Nice job, it's funny and different, one of a kind...

:( Sorry that I'm team Edward, you probably all hate me now...I hope the review made me seem less terrible to be on the enemys side...

these are all sooo true, but im someone who HATES edward cullen. your authors note at the bottom was also very true. loved it, its about time someone wrote something like this!