you ROCK! this is good stuff just start changing paragraphs more often...

Today is my 50th Wedding Anniversary. I used to live in Tenn (western Tenn, the Jackson area). We now live in Louisiana. We have lived in the house for 43 years. I hope that everything you write about being abused is not autobiographical. My mom had a bad temper all the time I lived at home. That is NO WAY to raise a child. Of course, in my day, no one thought that much about it. I'd like to think times have changed.

She is old enough to know better, but most younger children will lie to protect their abuser. Either they are threatened, or they feel like "better the monster they know, than the unknown." Abusers count on being able to scare their victims enough to get away with it. Abuse generally carries on to the next generation because children are convinced that "might makes right."

Really nice storyline. A little hard to understand at first, but I could tell your writing had improved by the end.

I don't like that you're making Charlie and abuser when he's not he's a loving caring guy

Okay here is the rest of chapter one. Have fun reading and if the author reads this. Please give me a notification or something.

Love,
The crazy girl3

My cries of pain echoed through out the house as my father continued to treat me like a punching bag. My cries were so loud that I didn't even hear the door bell ring. The person started to bang on the door. He yelled to let him in. I think I even heard him say Bella. Who is this guy? And why does he sound so familiar? These were the last thoughts I had before I fell on the floor, my freshly bruised limbs screaming out in pain. My father finally heard the door and stopped his rant. He looked at me, his eyes filled with fear of getting busted and sadness. Charlie didn’t helped me, he just ran out the back door to wherever he goes when he’s not home. The person behind the door stopped his banging and finally figured out a way to get the door open. Before it went all black I saw Edward Cullen, my English teacher, walk in with my comprehension book.

I woke up not knowing where I was. The walls of the room were light blue, it was almost like a beautiful summer sky. There was an elegant dresser in the corner of the room, made of birch wood. On the other side was a long desk with a laptop and a tv cabinet. Across a giant shelf full of cd’s and books was the bed and the bedside tables, both with a dark wood colour. The comforter on the bed I was laying on was deep blood red. Still not knowing where I was I tried to think of the moment before I blacked out. Did I really saw Edward or was it my imagination? Why would he come to my house and how does he even know where I live? I tried to sit up, but it was no use. The fresh bruises on my arms and legs hurts too much to do anything. The bed squeaked at my movement and I could hear someone walking towards the door. I held my breath as the door slowly opened and Edward appeared, holding a wash cloth and some water in a glass. " You’re finally up,’ he sighed as he walked towards me and sat down on the bed. “How do you feel? Do you need anything?" my teacher asked me, his eyes full of worries. His velvet voice was just like music in my ears. "I'm fine, I guess just a little sore." I bluffed, not certain whether it was convincing enough. One look in Edward’s eyes told me that it definitely didn’t convince him. "You’re not telling me the truth." he said, confirming what I saw. My shoulders slumped in defeat. "Well I guess maybe I’m a little more sore than I let on, but really not as bad as it usually is. I’ll be fine in a couple days." I said as I tried to convince him. Wait… Oh Bella wrong choices of words. Edward’s eyes widened at my answer. “Than it usually is! Bella how often does your father beat you?" He ran his hand through his messy bronze hair. I couldn’t give him an answer, but the question caused tears streaming down my cheeks.

So do you like it? Please review and tell me what you think.
Much love

This story is definitely not mine! I read this story and I definitely liked it. Since I wanted to practice my own writing and the story had some minor errors, I corrected them and elaborated some scenes. I definitely don’t want the credit for making this story. The real author is thaters7 and since I didn’t officially asked her whether it’s alright to do this I decided to just post this in her reviews.
Love,

the crazy loving girl that collects other fan fictions.

Hi my people please give this story a shot. I don’t know if it’s good or whether I should continue. Please review it.

I watched as he passed the room, giving his lesson of the day. His messy bronze hair falling in his eyes, his beautiful vibrant green eyes showing knowledge. Mr. Cullen, a new teacher fresh out of college, was my English teacher. At the age of 24 he’s the youngest teacher at Fork's Hight, and of course all the girls in senior year have major crushes on him. Even me, Bella Swan, the slightly introverted girl.
Mr. Cullen stopped talking and said," Now I want all of you to pick a topic for your free style poem or story. Make sure it has at least five paragraphs and at least five sentences per paragraph. I expect in in by next Monday." The class mumbled a few words of recognition and the girls batted their eyelashes at him. "Okay then, for the last ten minutes you can start your writing or discuss quietly amongst your classmates about the topics.” Everyone turned to the person next to them to talk, only one person started writing. And guess who that person was…. me. See I don't really have that many friends. The only friends I have is Alice, who just happens to be Mr. Cullen's (aka Edward's) sister, and Angela. And of course Jasper and Ben, Alice's and Angela's boyfriends, hang out with me too.
It's not that I'm ugly or mean or anything. I guess I'm average in the looks department. I have long about mid waist brown hair, dark brown eyes, normal curves for a eighteen year old, about 5'7 and pale skin, but that’s about it. And I don't think that is a problem. I am just comfortable this way and I don’t care what others have to say about that. I was still writing, with 5 minutes left when Mr. Cullen walks up to me. "I'm glad to see someone is working hard." I moved my hair so it hid my blush as much as possible. " Thank you Mr. Cullen, I really just want to get it done." I was surprised that my voice seems to be so steady. Under normal circumstances my voice would definitely give away. Then again from the inside I was dying. My answer was so stupid, now he’s going to think you don't like his assignments. Or even worse he is going to think that I am a pathetic student that doesn’t even know how to socialise… God this is so embarrassing. Surprisingly Mr. Cullen laughed at me. Great now he’s laughing at me, he’s probably thinking that I’m pathetic and introverted. " I know what you mean,” Mr. Cullen sighed. “I hated writing 5 paragraph assignments when I was in high school, but hey it helps you in the long run." he said while his vibrant eyes were again shining with knowledge. "So what are you planning on doing your writing on anyway?"
Now I was at a lost for words. I hadn't really thought about what I was going to write about yet. And of course he had to ask that question. "Uhm… Well I don't really know what I'm writing about yet sir." I finally answered, feeling like a complete idiot. The bronze haired god just smiled. "Do you have any pets, maybe your friends or your family that might be fun to write about?" As soon as the word ‘family’ left his lips my bruises started to hurt again. This was not going to happen again. I won’t let myself get down because of them. I quickly brushed the feeling off that already crept under my skin. “Um I don't really know, those topics seems.. too easy."
Once again Mr. Cullen smiled at my answer. "I thought you would say that. After all you are a remarkable student Bella, you have real talent." And cue for the heat that slowly crawled up to make my cheeks blush. "Thank you sir." I stuttered in a very non smooth way. "Well you better be going, or you'll be late," he said as he turned away from to walk towards his desk. I looked around to see that Mr. Cullen and I were the only one in the classroom. Everyone already left and was going to their next class. Wow times flies when your talking to your crush. I quickly grabbed my backpack and my assignment as I stumbled towards the door. “Have a nice day miss. Swan.” Mr. Cullen said as he was writing something down. His voice caused me to shiver in delight. Before I could break down I quickly managed to say a goodbye and left the classroom.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Classes and teachers, talking and writing. Everything went well, but I still had no topic for my assignment for Mr. Cullen's class. I walked to the cafeteria, slightly annoyed at the fact that I still have no idea what to write about. I got my lunch and went to go sit with Alice and Jasper. Since Angela has a different lunch period, we couldn’t be sitting together. Which was a bit disappointing, but we have classes together so it isn’t that bad. “Hi Bella, how was your day so far?" Alice asked, wrapped up in Jasper's arms. "I guess okay so far. You know it’s school, much more exciting than this it can’t really be." I said as I popped a tomato in my mouth. “Yeah you are right, but still it doesn’t hurt to ask." she said, not really paying attention to me. Which I could completely understand. Just one look at Alice and Jasper and you could see the love and happiness in their relationship. Sometimes I even envy them, badly wanting to have such a relationship. Of course I’m happy for them, they are my friends after all and helped me through the dark days. "So Alice, do you have a topic for your brother's class yet?" She just sat there nodding while staring at Jasper. "Alice? Earth on Alice. Is someone there?" I said as made grand gestures in attempt to get het attention. "Huh.. oh yeah I do." She said, finally tearing her eyes of Jasper and looking at me. "It’s about how Jasper and I met." she said with adoration. It didn’t even surprised me that she’d chose that topic. "That’s great! I don't know what to do with mine yet." I sighed. " You'll think of something" the little pixie encouraged me. She turned back to Jasper, who was just laying back and smiling relaxed. Even though they cared for each other sometimes they’re too much. Just like now, I swear they were playing footsie under the table.

Lunch was over and the last classes were just like the other ones. I was getting my stuff ready to leave, when I realised I didn't have my comprehension book. I must have left it in Mr. Cullen’s classroom caused by my hast to get out of there. Oh well I could get it tomorrow and that way I wouldn't be late to get home. Mental note: don’t ever forget or else trouble will come. I ran out to my truck, started the engine with a load roar, and started my way home. As I reached home I started to think about the conversation I had with Mr. Cullen. Just thinking about him made me slightly blush. Focus Bella, this isn’t the time to be like this I thought as I pulled over and closed the truck’s door. I could already hear the snoring of Charlie, my drunk father who was passed out on the couch with a beer in his hand. My whole body seemed to relax at the fact that he didn’t knew I was late home. After my mother died when I was only two, Charlie changed from a loving father into a drunk and often abusive man. He was heartbroken at the fact that Renee passed away and was using alcohol and drugs to numb his pain. Which often led to outburst of rage and desperation. "You’r late." my father slurred. My blood ran cold with those two little words. "Dad I'm sorry, I...I didn't know I was that late, it won’t happen again. I promise." I said as my voice shakes with fear. " Pffft you always say that just like you mother. Your mother,” he pointed at me as he started to get out of the couch. “She promised me she’d never leave us, but she did… Promises don’t mean nothing to me and they never will again!” Charlie yelled, while tears started to form pools in his eyes. " Dad please, I'm sorry, please don’t do this.” I begged him to stop the soon following beating, but it did no good. "Sorry for being too late,” the drunk man sarcastically asked. “You were too late when she died 16 years ago." he grunted as he hovered over me. Then before Charlie actually hit me I saw a flash of raw pain. The pain in his heart for losing my mother and for abusing me, but that flash did’t stop him from hitting me. This hit was hard, it almost knocked me over. I cried out in pain, hoping for this torture to end. "This is for being late," He hit me again. "This is for your mother," Again "And these are just because you are a worthless piece," Again, but this time he slapped me in the face instead of my arms. "Of shit!" he hit me again and again as he continued his rant of how vile I was in his eyes.

*I know it's not finished yet, but I couldn't wait to post this. I definitely am waiting for the author's acceptance.

Loving it

There are some typos

it was CHARLIE but ive already read this once but i kinda forgot it all

LOVE IT IS TO DIE FOR

I LOVE YOUR ENDING SO PASSIONATE AND THE EXUSE

Am sorry that i'm being so annoying but please work on your spelling but anyways I love your story am craving to read the next pages.

I love how you write and the plot of the story and nice touch on the abusive father but you should work on telling the reader from the character and not using ().Because that ruins the flow of the story but honestly love your story and hope you make more fanfictions stories.

Awe the ending was so cute about the spaghetti sauce.