Just for fun...

Snape went to the dark lord to report and made the mistake of bumping into Bellatrix in his hurry, getting his hair grease on her new dress. Bella lost it when rather than apologise, he stared at her bust… this resulted in Bella using her favourite cursed dagger to remove Snape’s eyes. The dark lord punished her with a Crusio, then allowed her to play with the blind Snape for his amusement. He was impressed by her torture technique, immediately promoting her to most loyal right hand.
No prophesy meant no need for the Potters to hide. Harry, as the Potter heir, learned the family magics, (Magic the dark lord knew not,) and grew up with a brother and sister. He went to Hogwarts and met Hermione, and on their first date to Hogsmeade, were attacked by Voldemort and his army of death eaters. Harry was fast, fit and well trained. He ducked the killing curse and replied with a special combination soul destroying curse that had the unforeseen consequence of wiping out Voldemort’s soul, and all souls attached to it. this rendered his Horcruxes, and all his branded followers soulless with one spell. Harry looked at the hundred or so drooling glassy-eyed yet harmless zombies staggering around and glanced at his girlfriend. Hermione glared at him and with hands on hips said, “Harry James Potter… what have you got to say for yourself?” Harry gave her his best lopsided smile and said, “Oops?”
Five minutes later, when Madam Bones and a company of Aurors popped in they found Harry and Hermione sitting holding each other as they were laughing so hard they couldn’t stand up.
It took twenty minutes for the Aurors to get the story from the witnesses before they could get to talk to Harry at all. For some strange reason every time a witness pointed and said, “Oops,” it set them off again.
With the dark lord and all his death eaters gone wizarding Britain became a fairer and happier place. Hermione eventually became minister of magic and Harry became head Auror. They had three children and they all lived happily ever after…

Great job

What people forget about the prophesy is that it doesn't actually say much of anything. It certainly doesn't say that the saviour is a freaking baby. My head-canon says that Ranma Saotome was born on July 31, but then you'd have no seven book series with one of the lamest protagonists in literature.

Do you know if anyone used this in a story? I tried to read the comments to see but did not find any. . Great story.

Funny isn't it? If Snape doesn't hear the prophecy the entire book series falls apart. Voldemort doesn't hear the prophecy, doesn't attack the Potters, there is no scar. Harry is raised by his parents, durzkaban never happens, etc. All because of a non-believer.

Heh, I'd love to see this developed into a full story showing what otherwise could have been Harry's childhood, that maybe the prophesy actually was true only no one (but maybe those in the Dept of Mysteries, maybe) knew about it.

749 words of pure gold!

Well, that was an interesting premise. What really would happen if Voldemort didn't mark him?

Omg, I love this so much! Cracked me up, I can just picture McConagall giving Snape the ear pinch and drag treatment, that is a hoot!

But the thing is, Voldemort knew about the prophecy. The only reason that Dumbledore even acted on it was because Voldemort set it in motion first.

Certainly an interesting starting point. Thanks for sharing this story with us.

And everybody's in character! Good job.

Hahahahahahahaha

This was one of the best short stories have read

super idea