hey the one-shot is about Motoko confessing to keitaro but even there is Naru Narusegawa so if you are going to do a one-shot of motoko and keitaro do it right

LOVE IT, even I'm from Keitaro\Naru fan, I like it

I do recognize which scene from the Manga this is inspired by, but you ought to mention the reference for those who only have seen the anime, where this doesn't occur.

For others, in the Manga, the second time Tsuroko visits, Keitaro and Motoko are in her room. He's helping her study for the Todai entrance exam when he spills a drink onto her shirt. She lets him stay, back turned, as she changes her top. While doing so, she is asking him about his feelings for Naru. He says he likes her, and she retorts with the first line in this fic. (in doing so, she grabs Keitaro and turns him around even though she's still only wearing a bra). But instead of hitting him when they realize this (Keitaro is cowering in fear), she says it's not his fault. At least, that is how I remember it, I've loaned out my manga a couple years back and haven't gotten them back yet.

Not a bad chapter ... it's just one scene isolated from context (and no indication of the canon context except for those who recognize it). A good first chapter creates a setting and context though. I have to ask what's the point? It's just warm and fuzzy fluff for the sake of it. But, it is good warm and fuzzy fluff. I think others would like it better if you set the scene up, explain why they are in her room, how she got unclothed, etc.

"Huh?" About sums it up.

This is garbage.

Is this truly a K story? This and the other one seemed like it more K or Teen. Just a thought...

You should continue 's a bit too short for a one shot but as a prelude to a story it's just fine.

Update soon.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

I think that you have a nice 6-8 chapter story here! You should continue this!

dennisud

(He pokes his head out again, smiles, and pulls out the pompoms again.)

C-A-C, T-U-S, number one, the very best! Cactus, Cactus, go Cactus!

OMG, Your writing again?

Cool!

Your story is too short.

Why was Motoko naked?

Where were they?