You can't seem to write characters I feel any compassion for. I was disgusted by Sasuke in Disenchanted because of his terrible behavior and attitude, and nearly as disgusted by Naruto for lying down and taking it all, particularly when Sasuke got the kids involved. I decided to give you another chance by reading this story...but nope, not even here do I care about either of these people. However, I would say this is the opposite of Disenchanted in that I find Naruto to be, by far, the more loathsome of the two.

Sasuke had his own considerable flaws (he should have been more honest; he should have stayed in contact with Naruto; he was more to blame for cheating on Sakura than Naruto is - she is his future wife, after all - although Naruto basically initiated everything); however, the story is at least honest about those flaws and makes him look like a jerk when it needs to. So why doesn't Naruto get the same treatment?

If we believe the writing, every time Naruto is physically described, he's either an object of pity (a "weak puppy," "frail," "desperate," etc.) or extreme sexiness ("chiseled features," "sex bomb"). It's a lethal combination for most readers: sexy, yet pitiable. You can easily contrast that with how the story describes Sasuke ("cold," "merciless"). If we believe the writing, Sasuke is a jerk while Naruto is a poor little puppy dog. Can we call this character bias? Because if you forget about what the story is TELLING us, and look at the characters' actions, at what the story is SHOWING us, Naruto is easily the bigger jerk of the two.

Naruto is a character who went off, lived his dream, and then thinks he can get Sasuke back, just like that, with a night of drunken sex. He's trying to have his cake and eat it, too! And yet, this is the character that the fic has decided is the one we're supposed to have the most pity for?! Let's review his asshole-ish behavior:

1.) Got into medical school and made plans to move away but hid it from his supposed best friend.
2.) Never once came home in six years.
3.) Decides, after *six years*, that he's finally going to try and "mend" his friendship with Sasuke.
4.) Lies to Sasuke about what's in the job acceptance letter.
5.) Seduces Sasuke *on his wedding night*.
6.) Seduces Sasuke despite the fact that he had no intention of remaining in Konoha.
7.) Took virgin Sasuke without preparation, lube, or a condom! (And didn't care when Sasuke told him how much it hurt.)
8.) Has the audacity to think Sasuke is going to call off his wedding for Naruto's sake now that they fucked.
9.) Has the audacity to think Sasuke will want to be with him even though he's leaving again.
10.) Immediately after the sex, acts jealous that Sakura is marrying Sasuke and not him. (Which of them does he actually want?!)
11.) Acts like the wounded party because Sasuke didn't support his dream but *never* acknowledges he hurt Sasuke in the pursuit of that dream.

Throughout this fic, Naruto did almost nothing right. Sending the e-mails and trying to call Sasuke after he left for school was the only sort of okay thing. But if Sasuke truly mattered to Naruto, why did it take half a decade for him to do something about their friendship? Yeah, that really showed how much he missed Sasuke. Beyond that, why didn't he tell Sasuke he had feelings for him *before* he left? Why didn't he tell him he was planning on leaving? Why didn't he promise Sasuke he'd come back for him? All of those things would have made a difference and they were all things Naruto should have done, but didn't.

And if he truly cared about Sasuke, why didn't he show any remorse for hurting him?! "I'm sorry I didn't deal with it better" is NOT the same as "I'm sorry I hurt you." Is Naruto so self-centered he doesn't realize Sasuke's anger is from being hurt? Every time Sasuke asked why Naruto lied to him about leaving, all Naruto could do was blabber on about how the village was too small to contain his soul. Okay, sure, fine. But what does that have to do with what he did to Sasuke's heart? Every statement Naruto makes reflects on himself ("do you hate ME?" "was it really so unforgivable of ME to pursue MY dream?"). It's all me, me, me. He came back because HE was hurt by Sasuke, because HE couldn't let go of his past. Did he care at all about what Sasuke was thinking and feeling this whole time? He certainly doesn't act like it.

And I threw up my hands in disgust at Naruto when he started protesting how he supposedly loves Sakura so much that he'd rather Sasuke DIE than be with her, and that if it was up to him, he and Sakura would be together instead. (So where would Sasuke be in that case? Naruto's lover on the side?) Sasuke gets criticized a lot in this fic for lying about his feelings to Naruto, but what does Naruto do from beginning to end? (He can't be honest about his feelings for Sasuke, yet he can be honest about his feelings for Sakura?!) And why the hell didn't he tell the truth about what was in the letter?! He wants Sasuke's forgiveness, yet goes and makes the exact same mistake again that led to all the problems in the first place! (Clearly the idiot didn't learn his lesson about hiding important things from Sasuke.)

And finally, what did he really think was going to happen between him and Sasuke when he'd already decided to take a job elsewhere? They were going to have a long-distance relationship? Because a long-distance relationship worked out so well the last time... So Naruto decided to come home after six years, breakup Sasuke's impending marriage by sleeping with him, and then ride off into the sunset with a new job in a new place leaving Sasuke and Sakura behind to do what, exactly?

This is why all this pathetic Naruto stuff made me angry as a reader. The story kept describing him as a "pathetic weak puppy ready to be kicked" and other variations on that theme, but it was such a lie to do so. All the narrative sympathy was on Naruto's side with how he was described as this poor little creature etc., when it should have been anything but. How about being more honest about Naruto's flaws? Naruto claims he had his reasons for what he did in the past, and maybe he did, but that doesn't erase not coming for a visit sooner, and it certainly doesn't erase all his shitty behavior since coming home.

oh god! so tradegic!save them PLEASE!

Waaa dire hearts indeed... and i'm truly sorry for being an idiot, but I don't know what the end implies. Is it mean, that the stunned Sakura realize that Sasuke doesn't belonged to her and told him to be with naruto instead? Hehehe I know. Hopeful much, right?

I don't get why there's so much sympathy for Naruto. Sure, Sasuke hurts him pretty badly in this story, but COME ON! Naruto has the nerve to show up the night before Sasuke's wedding to try to... do what, exactly? What was he hoping to accomplish?

Naruto was going to take that job regardless of what Sasuke said. He wanted OUT of their small village and had no interest in coming back. He'd been gone for six years and in that entire time, never once came back for even a visit. If Sasuke rejecting him was so important, why didn't he make the effort to resolve things between them in person years earlier than this? Naruto showing up on Sasuke's wedding night was simply too little, too late. (Sure, Naruto didn't know about the wedding beforehand, but showing up out of the blue after 6 years is too little, too late regardless.)

But OK, let's have it Naruto's way: Assuming Sasuke had told Naruto all the things he wanted to hear, then what? What could possibly have happened between them? Naruto would never have chosen to stay in the village. So then, would he have asked Sasuke to come with him? Just like that, out of the blue? Is that fair to Sasuke, to make him leave behind his friends/family when it seems like something he didn't want to do?

I just find it reprehensible that he knew Sasuke was getting married and seduced him anyway. (Sakura was Naruto's friend, too, so that was an awful thing to do to her as well.) And then Naruto had the balls to be shocked in the morning when Sasuke still wanted to get married! Why wouldn't he? A little drunken sex somehow makes everything that's between them OK? And it's not like Naruto gave him any reason to ditch the girl he planned on marrying and take a chance on him. Naruto acted like he still wanted Sakura for himself and seemed bitter over her choosing Sasuke. Why say any of that if he wanted Sasuke to believe their night together was actually special? But more importantly, during their conversation the night before, Naruto acted pitiable over Sasuke's rejection and kept trying to justify himself, but he never did the one thing that might have made it OK. He never once told Sasuke how he felt about him, how leaving him was hard, or even a simple, "I missed you"!

Really, it felt to me like Naruto's main reason for showing up was to get closure with Sasuke, not because he seriously thought anything might happen between them. What a noble reason to turn Sasuke's life upside down. Didn't Naruto consider that by sleeping with Sasuke, he might be ruining any chance at happiness Sasuke and Sakura might have had?

So! All this is not to say that Sasuke wasn't cruel in this story as well, because he was, but all this "poor Naruto" stuff got to me because really, he was the one mostly in the wrong so I wanted to argue to other side of it.

If Naruto had tried to come back sooner (those summer vacations), if he had told Sasuke he missed him, if he'd been loving during the sex (taking inexperienced Sasuke DRY and refusing to stop when Sasuke asked?), if he'd been more willing to stay in the village... if ANY of those things, maybe I'd feel a bit more sorry for him, but I don't.

Life sucks, shit happens, now they have to deal with the consequences of their actions in pushing each other away.

Did you give up on the idea of writing a sequel or an epilogue? It's really good an dI'm sure the readers would like to know what happens next!, well I know I want to haha

Hope you do write a sequel!

This deserves a sequel! One where the wedding gets cancelled and he chases after Naruto.

Brilliant! You should write more volumes ;)

I lovedd how you wrote this story. I actually felt when i read this story; anger, pain, sadness. Thats what an amazing story does. That's what this story did. I loved it! I just wish Sasuke and Naruto would end up together in the end,,,, ;/ But oh wellers. Great job though! Simply brilliant.

I love it! It's a beautiful story. More! _

this story actually made me cry... Nd i dont do that unless the story is like really painful... I lovd the ending.

Love Renae

I would rather have you dead than have you next to her. If it were up to me, she and I would be-"

-

this dialog sounds very wrong. these 2 men love each other. so why would naruto rather see sasuke dead-if naruto had his choice why would he and sakura be together_when it's so obvious the whole point of this story is how the 2 men want to be together

give it a 'C'

This is exceedingly gorgeous and I really do think that you should make more oneshots or something about this... I almost cried and I really do want Sasuke and Naruto to end up together. Please don't leave us at such a crucial cliffhanger!

this story is so good! you really are talented!

i dont know if i should be mad at sasu or at naru.

i mean sure sasu is acting as a jerk for lying like that to naru, but i mean, i understand that this is the only way he found to protect himself.

in the same time i am mad to naruto 'cause he too wasnt honest with sasuke and i would even say to sakura.

it would be very cool if you could write what will happen next..but again the way that you ended this story is really good!

oh well i guess its up to you :)

once again congrats on writing this amazing story!

Well, shiet, that made me almost cry.

Sasuke's a bastard :o