hmmm interesting story idea looking forward to your next update! xD

Nice edition to your story.

Hm, I think you could redo that business with the water. I wasn't sure if Kirika was getting an unpleasant or sensual feeling from it. She would probably be a bit sadder about the murders as well. The line about a wrinkle on Mireille's face was good.

Good, very dramatic and active, though the setting could be a little clearer. Looking forward to update.

I liked this fic.