From the summery of the story the plot seems interesting, however how the characters acts and talk, and the interaction between the characters, especially Kagome and Sesshoumaru, is off putting. The story and dialog does not flow, and Sesshoumaru is very much out of character, you have him acting like a human teenage girl, he is lacking all of his refinement, poise, and intelligence in short he lacks everything that makes Sesshoumaru well Sesshoumaru. You gave us no info what so ever on how Kagome and Sesshoumaru became friends, and Sesshoumaru is treating Kagome like he is in love with her, he even calls her koi which is how one refers to a person they are romantically involved with, however at the end of this chapter he calls her mother. There is also no explanation on HOW Shippo is now able to go through the well, we know that InuYasha is the only one besides Kagome that can travel through the well, but you give no explanation on why that has now changed. Another very big problem is how Kagome is acting, yes she is known from going home for a few days after InuYasha says or does something really hurtful but she has always taken her responsibility as the Shikon Miko very seriously but you have her just abandoning her responsibility.

Over all I think the story idea you gave in your summery is promising, however the characterization, dialog and interaction are poorly done. I would however love to see what you could do with this story idea if you started over and did a rewrite, keeping the characters more true to who they are and with the other things in mind as well.

From the summery of the story the plot seems interesting, however how the characters acts and talk, and the interaction between the characters, especially Kagome and Sesshoumaru, is off putting. The story and dialog does not flow, and Sesshoumaru is very much out of character, you have him acting like a human teenage girl, he is lacking all of his refinement, poise, and intelligence in short he lacks everything that makes Sesshoumaru well Sesshoumaru. You gave us no info what so ever on how Kagome and Sesshoumaru became friends, and Sesshoumaru is treating Kagome like he is in love with her, he even calls her koi which is how one refers to a person they are romantically involved with, however at the end of this chapter he calls her mother. There is also no explanation on HOW Shippo is now able to go through the well, we know that InuYasha is the only one besides Kagome that can travel through the well, but you give no explanation on why that has now changed. Another very big problem is how Kagome is acting, yes she is known from going home for a few days after InuYasha says or does somthing really hurtful but she has always taken her responsability as the

I loved this story

te comprendo ... tus historias me gustan desde españa gracias

You said that this was your first fanfiction, well it is a good first try. Sure there may be some pacing and editing issues, those will work out with the growth of an author (and/or with a beta/editor as well).
But the bones are there in that you showed you have some creative ideas (what had you planned to do with that necklace if your enthusiasm hadn't swept you past it, I wonder), and are able to put together a decent narrative (as an early-author), some of us can't (I have little to likely no talent, it's rather funny but very sad).

Sorry to hear that fanfiction is becoming too much.
You're right in that the faults grow, especially in trolls commentary. I always favoured this site mainly for the notifications systems, for the search abilities and organisational layout, and to a lesser degree for some of the interaction capabilities - but people abuse that too easily.

Thank you for sharing in the first place though.

People need to grow the hell up. They need to stop being such children. I don't understand what is wrong with people. They have to get on people that they can because they can't get at movies, tv shows, or music. They are unhappy people who will always be seriously unhappy. No need to bring anyone else down with them.

are you going to be moving over your older works soon? there is only one inu story posted and I really want to see how this story ends...

Enjoyed the story, poor kags, lost her mate at least she has her sons...

I'm sorry to see you go, I love your Inuyasha stories. Are you going to repost them on Archive? If not I wish you would(I lose so many good stories that way and never find them again, which upsets me a great deal as I read them almost daily).

Ohh this be good to read

me encanto tu historia deberias seguir con otras historia nuevas
tu imaginacion es muy buena sigue asi y buena suerte en todo...

I want no need more plz

Not surprised if he says hmm alot sesshomaru says hn alot lol and i kinda do see their dad as pervy lol

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Good one.

Loved it. I also agree with you Kilala is way better than Kirara.