Aww this ended too soon. And either it's me, or Saphir's parents sound like the Vocaloids Gakupo and... that white haired one I can't remember the name of. I don't recall their eye colors so I'm not sure. Speaking of colors, I notied you put detail into things that, in my opinion, don't really need describind. Saphir, Jade, sure. They're the main characters and will be the center of the story. But their parents, not so much. Sure a small 'healthy looking woman with Y hair and X eyes' will work, but they don't pop up enough to really deserve an explanation for their down to the T fashion sense. The same goes for Nephry's rag doll in Dedication. It's only existance is in 1 sentence really, so a description of 'blonde ragdoll' would work best.

Very nicely written. It all seemed very believable to me, and I really loved the bit about Saphir's parents at the beginning.

I love fanfics about Jade, Nephry and Dist in their childhood; they are such an interesting thrio. Their relationship is unique and fun to explore in fanfictions, so your work amused me greatly.

Also, I just noticed that Jade never spoke. His inner toughts were described carefully through the entire fanfic, but he never exchanges words with another character.

It's an interesting characteristic of this story that seems very Jadeish. Maybe that's more in character? XD Either way, it was really original. Congratulations.

Great job, I enjoyed this very much. Jade and Dist as little kids are so cute o I can't find anything that was poorly written in this, so congradulations. It's very entertaining to find a we;; written fic (there are so many that should just not be posted .