Hm. It seems almost like Kakashi seduced Sasuke into sex by promising comfort, but it was redeemed at the end when Kakashi promised repeated comfort. I've never seen a first person KakaSasu fic, much less in Sasuke's POV, so I rather like that aspect. Silk boxers? It could be seen as being a holdover from being in a clan, but...eh. Why were they even having sex in a random clearing or something? This seems more likely to happen like Sasuke was by himself in his clan home and Kakashi came to check up on him, yet the forest idea seems almost...calming. I rather like how unsure Sasuke is because it adds depth and you did very well with his dynamics. Kakashi seems a bit too relaxed for seducing his student into sex, you must recall that Kakashi is traumatized as well and his dynamics are much wider than Sasuke's, you can add much more depth to his character. No mentions of the mask or any of Kakashi's clothing, which doesn't make sense because although Sasuke is very unsure (which suits his character at this age), he is still very observant. The fan fiction seems almost... Unfinished. You should add a second chapter with Kakashi's POV, and then you can add depth and dynamics to him as well, like I mentioned earlier. Overall, I give this fanfic a solid B as a first fanfic. Good job.

This was unbearably sweet and sexy.

Loved the doubting and questioning thoughts that ran through Sasuke's head. Is this a test? Should he let his sensei do this?

Slightly creepy but still it where longer.

This was a good fanfic. And for your very first, Bravo! I love KakaSasu. Kakashi is so HOT. And Sasuke is so CUTE. Loved this fic. Keep up the great work, dear.

Silk boxers?

I wouldn't expect for a 12 year old Sasuke to be wearing silk boxers lol. Even to me that seems a little odd, but I like it. I like odd. Hehe, well that my friend, was a great GREAT KakaSasu smutfic. Wow, you did so well! I really liked the pace at the begining, but I felt like the sex was too fast. I would have liked for it to be a little more longer...and detailed... But it was fine the way it was. :)

Great smutfic btw, KakaSasu ftw!

Holy Shit! That was your firtst fic? You write like a pro, the fic was one of the best- no it WAS the best KakaSasu I've ever read!

rly good for a first fi. :) you should have made it longer tough, shoot for something with more of a plot next time 2! :)

Tehe I bet you did better than my first fanfiction... no one has even bothered to comment on it. Its a MelloXMatt from deathnote called Heart Ache. You did great I like it a lot.

Ohh nice! It's so cute~~ I like this story very much!

But. There is one little thing in this story that bugs me and I know you said this was your first fanfiction. I think there's too many triple-dots (...). I mean it makes the story look like it's not finished or that you've been a little unsure what you've been writing. Otherwise this story is great. :)

Anyways, thank you for letting me enjoy!

-Zyv

That was so AWESOME! I am in pure awe! I really liked the way you chose to do it in first person POV and through Sasuke's eyes. Its a new spin on KakaSasu and I haven't seen many written like this. For it being your first fanfiction, all I have to say is you are TALENTED and you can never stop writing KakaSasu!

*hugs*

kakasasu4ever

Holy Crap...you're first fanfic? Dang...you're good!

Awesome job! Loved it! Keep up the good work! P

good job . i really enjoyed this story keep up the good work -

First fanfiction! My God! That was wonderful. I enjoyed it much so, not only was it written very well, but it was damn hot too. Well done _ x

Aw, so sweet! Wow, your first fic was a yaoi lemon? Well done! Keep up the good work *-*