You have a good handle on the dialogue, and there's some good imagery here, too. You seem to really know the characters well enough to tell the story and keep the reader's interest. I think you need to work on your climactic timing, though, and put some more work into expanding the setting and the environment your characters are dealing with. It's a nice little short you've got here, but it could be much improved if you worked on these things a little bit. If you ever find yourself in need of a beta, I'd be happy to help out so long as the story has lots of Carson in it. :)

Fantastic story, very suspenseful and with terrific characterizations and friendship moments! Although I think the story could have been a bit longer, this was one of the best stories I read in a while.

My only criticism would be the last sentence of the Epilogue, for though I felt it was a very good idea to have Carson check on the little girl, the last line was a bit cheesy and didn't really fit into the story, but maybe that's just me.

Thank you very much for writing this! Here's hoping for more Carson-centric stories from you.

nice

I thought your story was good.

I love this story! Thanks for writing it for me! I wish Carson was MY husband, LOLOL! ;)

lol fair piece of reasoning i guess :)