I like the story. It really caught my attention, and held it until the end.

I would suggest that you not say her name quite as much. With the exception of her interaction with other female characters, she was the only woman, so the reader should already know that you are talking about Helen, and does not need quite as much reinforcment as you have put.

I would love to see some more stories about this character

For Changeling stories you could look at Baeraad's work. Also this story was great and I hope you continue it.

Oh man, I loved this! You did a great job. Helen is one kick ass scion. About the Changeling story q that you had, I'm actually writing one right now, I'm corssing it over with Gundam Wing, but it's still about Changeling. I'll be posting it soon and I hope that you'll like it if/when you read it.

I really enjoy reading your story. Especially the relationship between Helen and poor Sven. I'm curious how she is going to handle those renegade ghosts.

heheh, i liked the part where Helen sat on sven to drive. way to trick the police. :D

this is a very good story, please continue.

Oh, ouch. Poor Helen's Dad!

This is really interesting. I can't wait to read the next part.

I'm liking this story. Especially since it's the first Scion fanfic. Bravo on breaking new ground.

Awesome story. It's nice to see someone writing a fanfic based on Scion instead of one of the defunct game lines. (Although I have nothing against those stories!) I think you really captured the feel of Scion as seen in the opening fiction in both Hero and Demigod, and I look forward to seeing any more work you put into this story or others.

I don't write reviews often but I had to write one for this story. I'm a big fan of the Scion series from White Wolf and have always enjoy the stories they include in their books. While this story is a bit on the short side it fits perfectly with the setting. You've captured the subtle quality of strange that White Wolf embodies and I can't wait for the next chapter