I first read this story about a month ago, and I am still hooked onto it. It sucks that you never finished it, and you should totally start it back up again. This is really great stuff.

you do realize that you're writing about 1964, because the first game is set in 1949, 2 yaers after the splicers went crazy on new years

Interesting story keep it up

BB

Update plz

This rocks!

Just beat the game for the first time and got the good ending!

It was sad that Jack died...but still happy for the little sisters.

Now, would you kindly update this?

Good goin mate! This is one of the best Bioshock fics i've read. The ideas make some sense, and the plotline is pretty compelling. Good job and keep it up!

Excellent:) Looks like we have a main enemy for Rapture and that's the Captain. Crazy SOB.

Can't wait for CH5.

this is a pretty accurate and awesome story for bioshock! Please keep at it. ;)

Hey, I read the start of this story ages ago, failed to bookmark it, and never found it again. It was very cool to find it in the Bioshock section and with more plot added! :)

You're really good at writing short scenes that have a lot in them; Henri and Joan haven't been introduced at length but I still feel like they're rounded out characters, and I feel like this really is how Jack and Tenenbaum would be twenty years on. Though it does kinda suck for Tenenbaum that she hasn't learnt better English over that time... Their interactions with Joan make me curious about the other Sisters, even though I guess they won't get much of a part now our protagonists are stuck out in the middle of the sea - but I'm interested in how they spent twenty years in America, and whether Joan told her friend from the start of the fic that she was going back...

I like the fact that one of the submarines is called Persephone. You should be more suspicious about your Greek myths, Joan!

Her motivation for going back was cool, though, in a not your standard action hero way. Jack and Tenenbaum sounded like anyone's overprotective parents being hypocrites saying "you were too young then, you don't remember it". Well maybe, but the Little Sisters who're still around now seem to have been pretty messed up by the place, if the fact the other four want nothing to do with Tenenbaum is any indication... But the fact those two say that makes them seem like her parents, and that makes the scene awesome.

I'm not quite sure why Joan really wanted to go on the first boat down there though, did she think Bridgette was going to tie her up and not let her on the sub? Or just the plot wouldn't work without it happening that way...

Them going underwater and seeing the lights from the city and realising it's all still in one piece was so very creepy and awesome. It made me go "oh poor Joan" but at the same time YES THE CITY LIVES! AND DRAGS ITS FORMER INHABITANTS BACK!~~

Big Daddy pwning the dudes from the submarine was also cool. But, poor evil minions, who didn't really seem as nasty as Court...

Joan hiding from the Daddy was nicely written, 'cause we could tell that it was going "Little Sister why do you reject me...? :(" but she couldn't. And, aww, she now has a friend! And won't be attacked by the splicers... Unless Henri has some kind of a cunning plan to control them, at least, which he'd have to be really cunning to come up with in the few minutes since he got chucked into a wall.

Hmm. Is he going to radio the others and get his friends to take Jack and Bridgette hostage? Or just going to try and get back to the surface and trap Joan down there? I guess not the latter, since he's kinda preoccupied with nicking Rapture's superior technology. Maybe he has another plan that's more cunning than mine; I don't think I'd be a very good evil villain...

In any case, tres awesome story! I hope you update soon :)

You have me trembling in anticipation almost eveyone can remeber the bathosphere ride down and the signs on the way in. Beautifully worded and easy to follow. Any rapture fan would love it. I look forward anxiously for more.

I love this introduction! Jack and Tenenbaum's reasons for letting people explore Rapture makes a lot of sense (logic in fanfic? what madness is this?) and Joan completely wins me over as an original character. You balance her behaviour very well between the kind of very deliberated determination that drives her to go bak - "I remember more than you think" - and evidence she is having to try hard to cope with the concept of going back to underwater crazyland.

Tenenbaum's characterisation was rather excellent, too. The bluntness of "If that is what is necessary, then go and rejoice in her death. But I was no less terrible to you..." fits perfectly with the kind of moral problems the game offered up.

Anyways, I enjoyed this a lot, so whether or not you're planning to continue it, thanks for writing this much! It's a clever and nuanced piece of writing, and I'd love to know where you were planning to take it next, but given that the Bioshock sequel is looking like it'll break everyone's assumptions into tiny little pieces, and it's been ages since you wrote this, I'm not going to make the typical "please update" request.

Take care,

Min

good story but what does liebchen transelate to in english

Wow full alert status!

And by the way, it would absolutely be xtra cool if Jack showed his plasmids to some1!

Good work, I realy hope you will finish this!