I liked this story as it shows that humans are the monsters. please continue this, as it highlights the world's problems of segregation and racism. continue, not for me and the fans, but for the world's understanding. thank you, Josh.

I kind of like this story.

.moar.

Good one! Also... MOAR! That is all.

Please do another chapter, the two you allready did were amazing!

omg, the ending was hilarios!

Hmm...nice, although you haven't fully explained how he became a pokemorph, or whether he was born...

Still, a great story to consider moral issues on.

I'm not sure how honest/critical you want the review to be, so I'll just go with my normal style. The first thing I immediately noticed was the... spontaneousness, shall we say, of the first part. It kind of went: Searching for food, hey it's a Ditto, mean parent, mugger, with almost no build-up, transitions, or detail in the mix. This isn't a problem I can help, but the sum of several, minor problems that all brought out the worst in each other. The first thing is detail. There wasn't very much to speak of in the first part. I'm not going to go very in-depth into this part (ironic, isn't it?), because you improved substantially in the second part. A good level of detail is hard to pin down in third person, but it is thankfully much easier in first person. If the narrorator would notice it, describe it. The narrorator would probably notice more about the Ditto than it being pink. He would notice more about the girl than her being a little girl (I assume she was, you didn't really say), and would notice more about the woman than her gender and relative age. If they are seing something for the first time, they will probably notice at least a few things about it. If you try to think of that character in that situation, close your eyes and try to think of what they would notice from the scene. Then write it. If you slow yourself down with detail, the plot moves at a much more reasonable, easy to follow pace. Writing is communication from one mind to another. The clearer the message is, the greater the chance it gets across. Beyond that, there are the rules of first person in general. Once again, this did get much better in the second part, but I still feel obligated to touch on this. The first person narrorator is always communicating something to someone else in some way. They must have some opinion on it that they are aware of when they think. Convey those subtle biases and thoughts: this is first person. Once you start doing that, detail improves, it is easier to identify with your character, and reliance on dialogue to tell the story decreases. Pretty much, think of how the narrorator would tell the story. If they report only dialogue and details, that's okay. But chances are, they would start talking about thoughts and opinions at some point.

That aside, there were obviously some things you did well, or I wouldn't have even bothered to give this thing three sentances. First off, the themes portrayed are very compellin for a two shot, and the general concept of the story was very good. However, if your character could insert his own thoughts on the matter beyond dialogue, and the reader didn't have to think about what's going on, the message coudl be that much clearer. Overall, you get the general principles of writing and you have very good concepts and themes to bring to the table, and with just a little more work on first person, you could very well be an amazing writer.

I hope you don't take this as badly as some writers, and once again if I didn't think you had potential, I wouldn't have even bothered to spend half an hour reviewing this.

-Rediamond

Hilarious Heartwarming/touching

I hate oneshots and doubleshots for being oneshots and doubleshots.

They're always awesome, yet too short to last.

:(

Album: One-X

Three Days Grace is awesomesauce!

I know you're probably not going to read this, but This story is Awesome!

hehe, cute. i would love to see this continue. but... alas... as you said, it is only a two shot. :3 well its certainly has potential. I wonder if all your writtings are this good. :D i think i may find out!

Ahaha, wow, great twist at the end! I hope he and his Ditto continue to teach stupid judgmental humans a lesson.

The little girl was nice. I'm surprised she defied her mom like that. I guess most kids are too young to be biased yet.

Wow, that manager was a prime example of stuck-up.

"I did meet some guy that was obsessed with Vulpix..." Hmm... Now who do we know that's like that? :) Jk (or maybe...)

I feel sorry for the Ditto (will it get a name?), being trained to Transform into the opposite gender most be tough... Too bad the idiot had to throw it away, it's so useful! (erm, in the best possible way :cringes at the images that 'magically' run amuk:) Sorry 'bout that. Stupid hormones.

Keep going! Make it a threeshot! :) Or maybe it's own serious series, I like this guy!

Hah! That was totally awesome! Okay, the thieving part wasn't so much, but the stupid Adult deserved it! Wow, that ditto was a pretty fast learner. Do I assign it a gender? It seems to be unable to transform into the male gender, but that tendency could be either way... Although that child seems to be under the impression that our main character (who seems to remain unnamed... did I miss something?) is female, now I'm trying to figure out what makes him look that way!