I loved this one... James seems quite smug when he reads her parchment P

Also liked the narrators input ]

That was absolutely perfect. I loved it!

I have a collection of oneshots called The Lives of Lily and James through our eyes. I would like to use yours in it. You get FULL credit.

That's sort of pretty. :) I thought it was funny how she wrote "Lily Potter" on her homework without realizing it.

This: "She can feel his breath on her lips and it makes her shiver, lick her lips, anticipate." Very good.

cute and light

lol i loved it! very cute

~Serindraxx~

Yay, this is a really good story. Slightly humerous as well. Guess who this is.

It was great ! Well done

Aww, that's cute. :D I love how you made the plot line, though slightly cliche, seem less so with your own unique style. I must admit, addressing the reader in a story is daring; it can either make the story sound fabulous or merely amature. However, though I do not think you completely nailed it, with a little tweaking, I am sure you could do so. Also, may I suggest having someone edit this? It's a great beginning, but I feel it needs a little work, even if mainly grammatically. But snaps to you because the few grammatical errors I found were minor compared to the majority of the authors on this site. Well, good luck to you and keep writing!

-Violetlace.

very good. It made sense, it fit well. And you added in your own personal writting style. So many fanfiction writers attempt to sound like JK Rowling, I find this slightly alarming but mostly amusing. This is becuase nine out of ten times they fail miserable at it. So, good job. I think the point of this whole thing was to say that you did a good job and it was very lovely and artistic.

Great story, I thought it was so cute and I loved it!

not bad, though told from an annoying perspective, and the second person seems almost condescending. but I love the idea and premise.

This was a great story. I love the simplicity, proper grammar, and flow. Your writing style is very good. Thanks!

Keep up the good work, this is going in my favorites. )

Very very cute! I loved how you refer to the author and the readers. Puts a new spin on the L/J oneshot! Great!