despite he fact that there are alot of grammatical errors, it's still a good story. 9/10

that was reeally cute it was a great story :)

Its pretty good for a first try using english for yr fiction. I experience grammatical and spelling errors too, but the idea you wanted to portray got across pretty well so...continue writing.

Better english then some people I have read.

Thanks for the simple yet sweet moment of Kira and Lacus.

(ZNO)

Okay; you've obviously got the ideas required. As for your English, I've seen much worse. Of course, I don't tend to read the really bad stuff. The two aspects of grammar that you seem to have the most trouble with are tenses and number. I really can't say much about the tense issue, but your number issue seems to show up mostly around making words plural that shouldn't be. One example is "Every minutes." You would think that, since you're referring to multiple minutes that minutes should be plural. However, Every makes it singular.

It was awesome...English is a bit off but thats okay you got your point across quite well :P

Good job

-Z30N