Wow! That was intense and powerful.

Aw... I love them! Specially Sirius.. hehe.. He's so HOT!.

[sorry about my bad English... I'm from Argentina]

WOW...

That was really amazing! You are very good at writing this...oh wow...

I loved it! Really felt the connection between the characters. Great job.

can i just say, WOW. you are an amazing writer, honestly, i love those two together, its so uh, wow,when i was reading it, a couple of songs by crowded house (who i mentioned earlier) came to mind, they are called, into temptation and dont dream its over, they are amazing songs, dont dream its over reminded me of the fact they were apart from eachother and into temptation is about forbidden love sort of, thats what the words suggest, and yes, crowded house are a band ;) i have a few things about them on my profile, and about the amazing man who wrote those songs.

Aww that was so cute, and so well written. I love the pairing Milly was happy when you dedicated it to her :P *nod nod* Great job!

xox Caramel

Oh my. It's probably just my immaturity, but it's hard reading a lemon written by someone you know and have slept in the same bed with before. xD

From a technical standpoint, a few minor spelling errors, but nothing that I need to kill you over. I think you got your point across pretty well; short, simple lemon that needed to be written. But I suggest that if you write another oneshot (even if it's essentially just a smut fic), then try to make it a little bit longer. I know it's hard, but you can DO IT! I guess I'm just partial to foreplay, but then...I'm a whore. I have a good example of what I mean, but as you do not watch Rurouni Kenshin, you probably don't want to read it. Still, if you ever want to learn how to write an amazing lemon, Anna-Neko is your girl. I've yet to read anyone more talented.

My favourite line: "You feel beautiful." Nice! I don't know why, I just really liked this. The descriptiveness. It's not a line you hear everyday.

I have to go to sleep now. XD How did I do? Keep up the good work, dearest! FIX YOUR FACEBOOK!

Love, Dae.

awesome

i loved it. it was written very well.

Great start, will be looking forward to more!

If you don't mind, I'll like to recommend my own Sirius fic "Prince Charming"

It's for ME ? *Squeals* Ooh the proudness ! I LOVED it, offt it was so great. I've been trying out writing Lemony smut myself, and now I'm thinking "What have I been doing, it's not smut, THIS is smut !"

When Embre tells Sirius she'd never forget what he feels like inside her I was like *Swoon ... falls of chair* So perfect !

Very hot, very great, loved it, it's on my Favorites:D

Hugs Camilla