Creative story with a Hannah Montana twist. Nicely done for a 15 year-old writer

Is there a Men's Warehouse in Italy?

I like the premise of the story, however when an author changes Hermione's looks then she is not Hermione anymore. Maybe Carmen could have been the disguise and our loveable curly headed swot was her real persona. I am having a hard time getting past the physical changes because she is not herself.

Wait. Could this possibly be a Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus type of thing? Lmao if it is.

Your work is good sweetie! Your plot holes are all inexperience and you related, not due to a lack of talent or story telling! I am glad you're accepting feedback. It is the hallmark of a good writer! So, 360 takes you back where you started. He's done a 180. Keep going!

Noooooo... please don't be a Mary Sue.

:-)

One of the most random plots ever but I enjoyed it. Seemed to be a lot of trauma but not much recovery? Well written and thanks for sharing!

Wow, this was a pretty dark story but had its sweet moments with laughs. I will say that the story and relationship between them moved ridiculously quickly, but this is fanfiction, and it is not unusual on this cite. Over all, well done HG/SS story. ;)

Love it

I feel like this should maybe be rated M; your write well, but your plot is too disgusting/disturbing for me to keep reading.

Ick this was rather gruesome (it's a complement to your writing though)

Oh my goodness. This story was great, not perfect, but still great. This fact makes me like you intensely, but their are other facts that make me hate you, and they can't be ignored... I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU KILLED FRED (AGAIN!) AND THEN YOU GO AND FINISH OFF LUNA. I kinda still hate you for that. Why Luna? WHY?!
Other than that and, if I am being honest, a few super awkward/cliche parts I loved this story. It had a very nice twist that was greatly unexpected. The writing was one the better side of what I have read on FF, and I loved the chemistry you created between Severus and Hermione/Carmen. It truly felt real so much so that it was nearly pliable. It wasn't awkward and fumbling, or crude and rushed, or anything that it should not be, but often is in FF. I could almost feel it. I commend you on your amazing romance/relationship writing abilities, which you proved in numerous ways in this story. This is a skill that I must say is great, as it is one I do not have.
Please continue writing, even if you never show anyone, or post again.
You are amazing, but I still kinda hate you.
Aliz-N-Wonderland
PS: Please do not be upset or put off at my use of caps lock. I am a very passionate person and I really, really like Luna and Fred, a lot. I do not actually hate you. Promise.

loved it! gripped me right from start to finish!

oh my gosh! i had a sneaking suspicion about that