kind of a slow but good start. When do we seehow Shiro explains what happens to Saber and him?

I really like where you are going with this story it is intriging. Hope you have not abandoned it.

You really should update this.

good set up. now how are they going to explain to tiga rin and the rest. mabe set it up so they react to rins touch.

VERY VERY COOL STORY PLZ PLZ UPDATE IT SOON!

Good luck. I like ur story

I havint read tha manga or watched tha anime but I gatta good understanding of whats goin on. And so tha way uv intagratid tha whole dark theem into it realy werks and makes sens without fowling things up and straying to far from tha original story. I like ware ur takeing this. Tha "ariveing late" aspect dus wunders for pulling tha reader in as well as forshodowing. I like it alot. So please do cuntinyew tha story. Good theem, good story strucsure so I dont got much to add or criticize. I hope that helped a lill bit. Just keep doing what ur doing.

Thanks, Spit Fire Chibi Kitty

P.S. Sorry about tha spelling Im dislexic. so it reads faneticly.

Great Story!

To paraphrase a famous Englishman:

This is not the end, nor is it the beginning of the end. Rather, it is the end of the beginning.

And what an intriguing beginning it is too. Shirou/Rin/Dark Saber? From what I know of that world it's a strange enough premise that I think I'll keep an eye on this just to see how you make it work.

It wasn't so shitty. It was better than anything I've ever done, that's all I can say.

I like this story.

I don't think you should rewrite. The second voice in the head reminds me of the fire emblem fic My sword, My shield but more focused on fighting. If any thing of criticization all I have to say is you should have given the voice some form of name and had it speak some where near the end.

nice, I never really understood the pairing but its very good so far

This isn't the greatest chapter, as you say, but don't be so upset: is the third of more to come. The story is still... what's the word... "young" (I mean, there's a need to write the events that drive the plot, and maybe you posted the "not so intersting ones").

Still, I can't see why you talk so bad about this chapter: the inner voice in Shirou is well driven and sometimes gives some cryptic/Intriguing lines that catch the reader. And that "strange :P" behavior in Saber... I want to see more about it.

In the end, you'll maybe want to tell me why you think that way about this chapter. And always, you can re-edit, re-post or whatever.

Good fic. Hope to see more.