You could add more detail to your fics. I feel as if I'm just reading dialogue. There isn't a lot of detail and the setting is missing as well as the Tina and mood of the whole thing. It also seems a bit scatter-brained but that might be fixed up when or if you add more detail I hope you don't hate me after this.

Hey I liked ur story I think it's lookup I wish u Cud continu it

Honestly it's pathetic how people go out of their way to analyze a story. You can choose to not read it if you really don't like it, but it's honestly whatever. If you want to pick on some random kid, go ahead.

I used to like it but now it seems really uninteresting. I saw other people's comments and agree with them. "lol" and "wtf" is terribly immature. It sounds like you're a stupid preteen.

I like it a lot... I'm a sasusaku fan. Kiba and Sakura are my two fav characters though. They're cute together. If you could give sasusaku a try, could you read my fanfic? It's called My new school by: the redheaded spy. Thank you

i hope you update the story?

dont worry ill be nice! (but do i have to be nice to my lil sis? shes a real bitch! and thats comin from the heart!)

Ok, well, I read the reviews, and boy, do I agree with a lot of them. You spend the time making this story so people pity you? Come on. Your a grown woman and need to start acting like it. People "flame" cause they tell what is wrong with the story and hope to heaven or hell that you fix it in the future. Here on , you will be critiqued by certain people who are big on reading GREAT STORIES...not crappy lame ones. You, young child, need to grow up and take the "flames" for granted and fix your problem. You obviously spend a lot of time text msging to use cellphone talk in a story...so that is hinting to me that you are

1- Not bullied

2- You really have no life if all you do is text msg.

Nor am I saying thats all you do. For all I know, you can be a person on MSN all the time and using "Wtf" and "lol". Woman...just get it threw your system, take words to heart cause all we are doing is trying to help better your writing system. By the way, the "Random Question" shouldnt even be posted. This is fcking fanfiction! Authors Notes..sure...RQ's...uh NO.

Take this to heart and listen to people who have been here much longer and have most likely written better and get A's or B's in their english classes and fix yourself up. Your acting like a child that got her candy stolen. Anough is anough. If your school life sucks so bad, start home schooling, but dont start putting all your drama on this site.

-BloodyShot-

I'm usually not the kind of girl (neither are Brenda and Silver) who just flames on stories that entirely suck. But it's like you want the people who read and review this story to feel sorry for you. I don't think any of us is the kind that wanna care to your every whim just cause you have 'problems' at school. For all we know you could be lying. But the random question can be posted somewhere else, not on the story, it's just weird. I don't know how it feels because I'm not bullied, but you say this 'random question' as if it was the worst thing in the world. I mean come on there's a lot of other things in the world that are worst than what you're implying. I'm sorry but I don't like artists who are like this. And 'WTF' is not for stories really, maybe if that stories had texting in any way shape or form but not for just saying it out of the blue. Yeah, you've been flamed.

~ .ShIeKo X3

umm... no offense but are you insinuating that we are all a bunch of pathetic losers. That comment said that you expected us to be nice on here... why? you really came on here expecting us to all know you already and just gush about how wonderful your story is? I'm sorry you're bullied and I'm sorry for ragging on you like other reviewers, but what you posted was incredibly ridiculous. I suggest that you consider the fact that everyone has their own issues and stuff to deal with at school. And for the fact that you come on here to get away from it all is fine. That's why I like this site too. The reason why everyone is getting upset is that you sound like you're just trying to get people to feel sorry for you.

so far so good update soon please

Well, f*cktard. I have to say that I'm glad that you posted this, "Random Question" because I now have a reason to report this retarded crap. Not everyone is going to hold your grubby hands and wipe the snot from your nose whenever you get a bad review. I hate when "authors" try to send out pity sh!t so reviewers will feel sorry for them, well, it doesn't work with me. I could give a d mn about your bullied life or whatever.

Grow up, shut up, and learn how to write.

Seeing as most grammatical critique has already been stated, I have only a few things to add.

"I DO HAVE A PERSONAL LIFE YOU KNOW!"

Wow, so do I! Yet somehow, I miraculously have the time to type out the words "What the freak" (as opposed to "WTF!") and the word four (as opposed to "4"). Preposterous!

"Random Question: Why are people so determined to ruin other people’s days?

I am kinda sad that people try to hurt others even here. I come here to get away from the painful reality of life’s bullying and now It’s here too! Learn to be nice people, GOSH!"

Oh, wow. That killed me so much, you have no idea (and by "kill", I mean I laughed extremely hard).

It's called constructive criticism, and I would be flattered if I were you. People offer it because they want to help you become a better writer.

"...get away from the painful reality of life’s bullying"

What, are we supposed to say to that? "OMG Im srry I pointd out ur problems!1 I fell so bad omg!"? No one wants to hear your pathetic pity party, this is the internet.

Maybe you should confront this bullying as opposed to spending ten minutes (that's how long you spent on this story, right?)on a virtual site writing half-assed stories about anime characters.

It's time to face the real world, hon. Not everyone is going to sugarcoat their comments and give you nice little asspats for every plotless story you upload.

PS: You only need one exclamation point to get a point across. "!" just makes you look illiterate and stupid. The same thing goes for typing things in all capital letters.

"WTF" is cellphone lingo, not proper English. That's childish and stupid.

"Freakin" not proper English.

Kiba has two red triangles upon his cheeks, not one. If you don't even know what in the hell the canon looks like then you're a lost cause.

"OMG" cellphone lingo, you stupid, ignorant, retard.

Who says, "I am (name)." It's more like, "Hey, I'm Sakura." or "My name's Kiba."

"Sweetie?" Goodness.

The Good Lord has given me strength.

"-happen…" That's absolutely ridiculous, three periods are enough. You're over-killing the ellipses usage.

Punctuation is terrible, learn how to use a comma for goodness' sake.

"a wasn’t smart or b didn’t value it’s life" Retarded.

You should make the "A" and the "B" stand out from the rest of the sentence.

This is a JAPANESE MANGA and you have the name "Matt," way to go.

"But she didn’t know how good of a choice she made going to school that day."

What?