Please never write fanfic toon ever again if you can't even write in simple paragraphs instead of writing it like a fucking play

Will there be a sequel?

that was awesome i loved it. A great story
Draco122

... not everyone has the byakugan, or lv 3 sharingan, you would have to have a shit lode of Jedi or sith training to remote view or even to reliably view future events, or possible near future events the whole seeing naruto's chakra's thing is just a event in witch seem she is prodigal, which would not show up so early in her training. Its a WTF moment that just takes me out of the story, which is the writer's job, to do the opposite to make the reader become adsorbed in his or her writing.

just to let you know, the speed of sound IS slower than the speed of light...

Sound moves at
340.29 m / s

Light moves at
299,792,458 m / s

m / s is metres a second :P

I'm going to be blunt: you NEED a beta reader. So many spelling and grammar mistakes, it's not even funny. Also, slow down. The story is hard to follow because you keep jumping around. The story should flow smoothly. Other than that, I thought this was pretty good, just needs a bit of work.

GREAT STORY.

Well. I liked the overall plot. I think it could use a little more fleshing out of some things. And just a tad more thought in the elemental power use. Like earth is weak to lightning. And Naruto used earth wall to stop an electric attack. But did he drop the wall go over it or run around it? Little things mostly but sometimes the little things add up to make a good story grand or if done improperly... Horrible. Hope this helps for future works.

Love it

You are an idiot its ANBU not ABNU and its hokage-sama, iruka-sensei not hokagesama or irukasensei

loved it plan to read your other stories soon

Love it

it is a really good fic kind of sort but still a good fic

weak minded fools?idiots?force lightning ?
sounds more like a sith than a jedi

Good fic but a little short and moved a little too fast. It was a good read though.