| Reviews for Dreams and Reality |
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tux9p chapter 1 . 9/4/2018 Veri n1c3c2Xst0ri7K |
mAgXi chapter 1 . 9/2/2018 Veri n1c34Mxst0riIG |
iT2sp chapter 1 . 9/2/2018 Veri n1c33wMst0riW0 |
T0Qm7 chapter 1 . 9/2/2018 Veri n1c3wtKst0riCk |
gHCU0 chapter 1 . 9/1/2018 Veri n1c3s19st0riqw |
Excalibur98 chapter 4 . 6/27/2018 thanks for finishing the story. this rehab for me after the anime |
Tecloz chapter 3 . 5/11/2010 story is very good indeed.i love it,but where is the final chapter?,it's been ages. |
CrimsonStellar24 chapter 3 . 11/21/2009 XD i really enjoyed reading your fanfic. Thanks for writing |
CrimsonStellar24 chapter 2 . 11/21/2009 I also love reading this are So much emotions that I can feel from the words written I'm complimenting on the way you write this fanfic and I could say that you are really good at writing this plot XD. |
CrimsonStellar24 chapter 1 . 11/21/2009 WOW this plot is a bit sad i still enjoyed reading the first chapter.. |
Sammy chapter 3 . 11/5/2009 Such a cute story, I hope you continue it |
A Midsummer Night's Dream chapter 3 . 8/23/2009 But it says 'COMPLETE'... O.o |
nahumthebest2 chapter 2 . 7/21/2009 *The scene in the hospital, a date, and a scene in Tazusa’s bedroom in her house would make a wonderful happy ending in part three! I think the best final scene would be maybe to end it with Tazusa and Pete kissing in Tazusa’s bedroom, and end with lines mentioning how before (during the anime story-line), they couldn’t even touch each other, and now thanks to the “miracle” they both believed would happen on February 23rd, which didn’t actually happen until exactly a year later (in your story it happened exactly on Feb 23rd a year later), and end it with a kiss, and some tears. And to add some final touch of comedy to give a smile to the ending, it’d be funny to make Tazusa’s coach/father holding a broom barge into the bedroom (the little sister too), and maybe make a big fuss out of what they were doing in the bedroom (kissing on the bed preferably along with some tears). Darn, if I was a writer, I would “attempt” to write it, but I really can’t write, and when I found your writing I fell in-love with it! (Note: I think I read somewhere some readers thought it’d be nice if there was a scene at school where Pete goes with Tazusa to her school and she presents him to her best friend as her boyfriend, and/or a scene where Shizuna is competing somewhere and Pete is right there cheering with her, giving her support, and/or the media/press see Tazusa with Pete and they make a big fuss of it on TV and the newspapers.) These are all some nice scenes most of the fans of this story would love to see in a part three of your already wonderful and beautiful story! (Sorry for writing too much. It’s just that your story only left me wanting for more and suddenly these ideas came into me and made me feel that in a near future, you could make them happen through your writing.) I would so love if you took in consideration the scenes I described, but in the end, it’ll be your choice, as the writer :P Even if it takes years, I will wait anxiously to read it! Reality of Dreams: Story part two: Super very tiny quick suggestions: 1) -The very 2nd line, there was something missing. It felt a little confusing, and you should clarify by adding the words "died ‘again’" or "went to heaven" or "disappeared". You know what I mean? That will make the readers know right away this takes place after the anime and that it is the continuation of part one of your story. I think it's very important to clarify it in the 2nd line by adding one of those words I mentioned. You do clarify it a later on, but I think it's best to do it right in the 2nd line or else it’ll make the readers start confused. 2) -The scene where the limo pullss up at the entrance of the hospital. The end of the paragraph was missing the essential phrase "kiss my ass!" Tazura definitely learned that phrase from Pete, right? This is the phrase all fans of this anime cannot forget! This will add some humor, and will make the readers the memory of that super funny scene from the anime (lol). It's alright to include that phrase. It wasn't censored in the anime neither, so it is perfectly OK to write that phrase even if it has a bad word in it, but you can’t leave it out! It’s a must! It’s a scene that can only be forgotten after one or more years after watching the anime. :P 3) -In the line ‘Tazusa, Tazusa, Tazusa…’ She could almost hear the amusement Pete’s voice if he were there. ‘I told you not to eat tomatoes. They make you stupid.’ The word "stupid" is definitely NOT a word Pete would use. If felt completely wrong! I think you should consider changing the last sentence and get rid of the word “stupid.” 4) When Tazusa enters Pete’s room in the hospital, the sentence “Tazusa swallowed her uncertainty and pulled back the curtain” felt a little bit weak, without support. I mean, why would she do that? You need to tell “what” made her to as far as pulling the curtain. Did she see something that called her attention and made her interested in the patient? Maybe… she saw an acrobatic plane on the table, and maybe that made her curious hence it reminded her of that crazy Canadian boy who was a geek when it came to those planes, or something like that. Then, when you write that “something” then it should feel right for her to go as far as pulling the curtain. I just didn’t know “why” she’d go that far, OK. No more suggestions. Final Thoughts: Sorry I wrote this much. I just started writing and it got this long somehow. It’s just that I really enjoyed the continuation (part 2)! and had to express my thoughts. I’m super thankful you wrote the continuation so soon, and I’m also thankful you left the ending with room for another continuation. You mentioned it’s been ages since you watched the anime. I watched it for the first time a year ago, and watched it again 3 days ago because I couldn’t get over it. The ending made me so sad, and I couldn’t sleep that night I finished it for the first time, and even after I watched it the 2nd time, I still couldn’t get over it, but thanks to your 2-part continuations, I now feel “happy” about the story. This doesn’t mean I am over it! NO! I wont be until you write part 3 (in the future when you have time)! Moreover, how did I find your story? Well, I somehow bumped into it when I googled the name of the anime and the words “ending” and “manga” and “anime” and somehow I got into a forum, and there was a comment by you with a link to an alternate ending you’d written of the story. Anyway, the point is, I found your story simply by pure luck! And believe me, I did a lot of research about the ending (I wanted to get a hold of the manga and light novel scans or at least spoilers about the original manga and light novel). The point is: the website where you post your anime short stories are most likely only known by other writers, and although it is fine to target other writers as your primary audience, I think your secondary or equally primary audience should be anime fans who love watching anime, and specifically concerning Ginban Kaleidoscope, fans that just CAN’T GET OVER IT because of its “short and quick” ending, which is not even the real ending, and left everyone sad and disappointed. The ending of the anime only caused the viewers to give it a not-so-high rating. So, I think you should post your two-part alternate endings of this anime in lots of forums and anime websites, especially in (it’s really famous), yahoo, msn, and so many other places, and you will see how people will love them! Thank you so much for giving me a part two! I totally loved it and enjoyed it from beginning to end. It exceeded my expectations and only left me longing for more! In the future, please consider writing a part three, and if you liked the scenes I described/suggested to you, I would be more than happy if you used them. After all, they are scenes all fans of this anime would have totally loved to see in the anime, but never happened sadly… so I take no credit for the scenes since I’m sure most of the fans of this anime would have died to see these scenes in the manga or anime. Those scenes are to die for! Thank you again for this wonderful part two, and I hope in a near future, you find the time to write a part three. -Nahum. |
nahumthebest chapter 2 . 7/21/2009 Hey, I would have never thought you would actually write it, and so soon! When I checked my inbox today and noticed the two e-mails from this website I had just signed up to a couple days ago, I was puzzled to why there were two sent within one minute, but didn't give it much thought anyway since the 2nd had been sent just one minute after the first, and it was only a matter of 2-3 seconds between me noticing the two e-mails and me clicking on the one that arrived first. I was very sure the e-mails were to inform me you had replied to my message (two times for some reason), but to my wonderful and sweet surprise, the first e-mail had some strange information. The first line that my eyes, was for some reason, the line in the middle of the message, which said, “words: 2,240.” Then, “Genre (s): Romance/General”. Then I read the first line of the message , and I was still puzzled, even though it was very straight forward, “New story from Raiven, Title: Reality of Dreams.” Even after reading those 4 lines, I was still wondering and I was so puzzled my mind went blank (lol) (all happening within 3-4 seconds). Well, in the end, I read the whole first message, and my brain was still for some reason, not aware of what was going on. The message was so straight forward and yet I went blank for some reason. Then, I read the second message, and it was from you and unexpectedly had only a strange and short comment (my brain went blank again after I read it). I read your comment, and it took me a good number of seconds before I realized I’d been staring at the screen idle and to finally realize what was going on. When I finally came to, I got nervous and anxious, and was telling myself , “this person couldn’t have… this person couldn’t have possibly written it already! There’s just no way! There’s just no way!” So, I immediately clicked on the link provided in the first message, and there it was, a super long page that looked just like the story I’d read before, but then I realized the title was different and the first line of the story was also definitely different, and not after reading the second line did I finally realize that the 2nd part of the story I had so much longed for to read, was right there in front of me! I felt really happy. I was anxious and yet patient to start reading. Anxious because I couldn’t wait to read what happens next in the story, and yet patient because I wanted to take my sweet time and enjoy every line and prolong as much as possible getting to the end (when you’re enjoying something, you don’t want it to end). So, when I first took a look at the page with the story, I scrolled all the way down the page to see how long it was. Then, I scrolled back up and started reading. Right after I finished reading the first paragraph, I thought "no, I don't want to get to the end!" For some reason, I didn’t want to ever finish reading it! (lol) So, then I came up with the great idea of deceiving myself somehow by "doubling" the length. I made myself believe it was 2x longer by re-reading the first part of the story (Dreams and Reality) before reading part 2. After finishing part one all over again, I was ready to start part two, and not only until then, did it feel just right! Feedback of the story: -The opening successfully delivered this feeling that, now back in Pete’s homeland, all Tazusa could think of was Pete. This feeling of longing and missing him was very strong. -Some of the extra nice quotes were ““Because if I were me, I wouldn’t want to be anyone else other than myself.” “She realized that sometimes words weren’t even necessary.” -It was very nice how Tazuna drew Pete’s picture unconsciously! -The addition of a little bit of comedy in the scene of when she was looking for the bathroom was very nice. How she recognized the word "crazy" and how she reacted to it. That made me laugh (lol). It was just like something she’d do. “Because if I were me, I wouldn’t want to be anyone else other than myself” is a sentence that stayed with me :P -The scene where they finally meet again, was very well written! It’s nice how you described from the warmth of the tears, to the heart beat, and so much more! It didn’t make my cry, but it made me really happy! and made me smile as I read every line! That last scene made me very happy! But just one thing: did you on purpose adapt the same style Japanese writers have? The style of writing short, quick endings that normally lead to a next season or a continuation in the manga or light novel? That style is very notable in almost every Japanese anime I have watched. I’m very sorry for saying this, but your ending only made me want more! Your story made me happy and satisfied me a lot. I don’t know how to thank you for taking your time to write this wonderful continuation, and I’m sorry for saying it left me wanting for more, but I can’t help saying it. It’s just that, I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not, but just like the original ending of the anime, and your ending of part one, the ending of part two makes the reader think it is not the real end. The anime’s ending is not “really” the ending. The story continues in the 9-volume novel, and your ending of part one wasn’t the real ending, and it only “felt” right that there was a part two, just like it felt right the ending of the anime was continued in the light novel. I know it is very wrong of me to be telling you this, and I am already grateful that you wrote part two, and I really mean this, but in a near future, would you consider writing part three? (I know I shouldn’t ask for more, but I can’t help it!) I know you’re busy writing other wonderful stories and that you’re a busy person, so I understand that. I don’t care if I have to wait months, or years, but I want to someday read the third and last, final chapter of your story! From the many many animes I’ve watched, I can’t remember an ending that wasn’t “short and quick.” Your ending of both, parts one and two, are typical “short and quick” anime endings that end right there on the spot! Those endings have often made me wish I was a billionaire so I could sponsor them for a second or third season. Almost all of those animes were followed in the manga or light novel, but since I can’t read Japanese, and they get licensed here in the U.S., no one scanlates them to Englsih, so in the end, English readers like me, are only left with only “not the real ending” of the anime, which is often too sudden/not enough/this can’t be the end/I want more/this can’t be the end/ sort of feeling. You know what I mean? Your ending was the typical ending Japanese writers like for animes, and of this I’m sure since I’ve watched many many endings and they all share the same “short and quick” pattern. *Simply put, part two amazingly well written! I enjoyed every sentence of it and had a wonderful time reading it! As I was reading it, I often re-read most of the paragraphs and would often go back a few lines again, in a deceiving attempt to prolong as much as possible, finish reading it. I just didn’t want to finish it, and when I finished it, I was left wanting more! But don’t worry, I know you’re busy with your other stories, so I’ll wait as long as I have to wait to read, hopefully if you decide, a final part three. If sometime in a near future, you have time, please write one final chapter for this story! It won’t matter how long I have to wait, I want to read it! Moreover, I am not a writer, but I think writers should always be thinking of the readers when it comes to the ending and they should ask themselves, “hum, do I want to satisfy myself by writing this story to satisfy all my thoughts and write it my way, or should I take into consideration what the viewers would like to happen and satisfy them by making it happen in the end? Or maybe… I should leave it open-ended and piss them off (ahh haa ha evil laugh).” [Lol], no, what I’m saying is, viewers love happy endings above all. Sad, too realistic, open-ended endings do not fully satisfy the readers. Everyone loves happy endings, whether they all agree on it or not. In the future: Ok, so in the future, when you hopefully decide to write one final chapter (part three) to this story, I think you should definitely pick up where you left off in part 2, and maybe make Tazusa “confess” Pete how she felt during the anime stor-line, and how she tried to tell him her feelings and how she felt when he was gone for this whole year, and she was left all alone, etc. And I don’t know, you’re the wonderful awesome writer here, not me, so I’m confident when the time comes, you will know how to make the readers happy :P. Humm, maybe if they go on a date somewhere would be a good idea, and maybe if then Pete decided to go live in Japan, and maybe, what if Tazusa’s coach/father allows Pete to live in their mansion after Tazusa tells her couach and her little sister that Pete is the ghost that lived inside her for 3 months. If they lived under the same roof once again, that’d be awesome! They already lived 3 months together in the same bedroom, so it’s not a big deal anymore (lol). And then a scene in Tazusa’s bedroom to bring up memories of how many days and nights they spent together in the anime story-line and make Tazusa punch/scream at Pete now that he’s human when he remembers and tells Tazusa seeing her nude two times, and then to add more comedy, Tazusa threatens him with making him eat tomatoes or some funny stuff like that. |
nahumthebest chapter 1 . 7/15/2009 OMG! This was a beautiful, and amazingly well written! However, why, just like the original author of this story, did you make the ending sad? Why couldn't you break the rules of the impossible and make, let's say Pete suddenly wake up somewhere in a hospital in Canada and then show that he'd been in a coma for all that time. Sounds impossible, but hey, the story is already extremely fictional, so why not make a fictional HAPPY ENDING? *I would so love if you made a happy ending. Someone here wrote this ending: forums. ?p2002786 Pete wakes up from his coma (he survived the crash somehow). The next day, Pete shows up at Tazusa's school and surprises is shocked and starts crying. She tells him she loves him, and they kiss. The End. And someone wrote the manga ending is as follows: Two weeks after the end of the olympics and the supposed passing on of Pete, a canadian boy wakes up from a coma in a city in Japan. He has a full recollection of his time with Tazusa and figures out that the plane accident didn't actually kill him, but it put him in a coma for quite some time. Some weird stuff happens (can't remember it all, sorry) and pete ends up running into Tazusa in her city...then comes the love scene...you guys can figure out what happens there.' /forumtopic-232708/do-they-have-a-2season/?pg2 **Please, you should write one of those two endings, but make it have something to do with Pete waking up from a coma, then he goes find Tazusa and the love scene, they kiss. The End. *Please, write an ending! PLEASE! |