Yes he did talk about his brother to him.

keep on going this is good!

this is a good story so far, please update it soon. one other mistake you made is that soubi did believe that seimei was really dead. mangafox is up to volume 9 in the series if you havent read that far.

indeed a truely tragic love story

i really love the amount of detail you put in to your writing

i could just imagine everything that was happening

the seimei/soubi part was really wonderful

i just love the idea that seimei just faded out soubi's life

it makes for such a lovely image

you expressed soubi's feeling perfectly

looking forward to your next update!

keep up the great work!

Overall it is really well done. But you should refrain from using conjunctions (couldn't, wouldn't, wasn't, don't, etc) because it reduces the quality of your overall writing.

Your pace and transitions are a little off, expecially when your talking about the key. It would be a tad nicer if the transition and the clairity was worked upon, because it is a tad awkward.

Other than that, besides the occasional grammer and punctuational mistake, it's not a bad story. Now I'm not going to pick out every mistake, because that would be utterly pointless, and inevitably futile. So just work on your conjunctions and transitions.

Keep up the great work!

Kou-shuurei

wow... so beautiful! your ideas for this are wonderful. the emotion in this piece is so overwhelmingly strong that it has a way of seeping into you. so beautiful. can't wait for more.

It turned out beautifully! Even if it was a hard write, it was perfect. Wonderful job, and I'll be waiting on the next brilliant chapter.

Once again, I'm just bowled over by the amount of emotion you con pour into this. As I read it, I feel as they feel, sad and lost, a little confused and a lot determined to make things right again. I love how Soubi's obsessing over Ritsuka. It's awkwardly sad. Even though I know the anime ends, I'm still hanging tooth and nail onto this fic and hoping for a happy ending. You've bewitched me darlin'

Good job! Update soon!

More please. That's really all that comes to mind at the end of the chapter. I'm at a loss, all the emotion you convey through a few simple words strung together in a sentence, all the sadness, loss, love, confusion, and curiosity! It just leaps out and takes a hold of you. I really cannot wait for the next chapter!

Written elegantly and poetically with an eerie touch on the side. I adore the descriptions of the kind, aging neighborhood women with "loaves of bread" for breasts. The image is immediate. Their interaction with Ritsuka and then with Seimei is very striking; it's written excellently, and Seimei's character comes across especially vividly - explains why he is the way he is. Who wants to be pitied, to be considered lacking?

And the Soubi-Seimei moment was breathtakingly intricate. Wow. I could never fully sketch out their relationship with quite that much subtlety. I look forward to more.

The beginning was extremely sad, but the over-all fic was very well written. Fantastic job!

This is an interesting intro. Well, I hope this gets more exciting and that you pull through with putting Breathless, Fearless, Sleepless, and the Zero units in here. I don't come across a lot of fics that put in the other teams and not just Lovels. Good work!

Nice! Can't wait to see what happens next! Update soon! :)

blueblazewolf

You're writing is excellent; I could see everything happening. Please update soon1