this was written nicely,.,. :D

hmm,.,. where have you read the manga? (the untranslated one) ;D

i want to read the manga too! but i can't seem to find a site where i can read the 15th volume! :(

well,.,. if you know where i can read that,.,. hope you'll reply,.,. ;)

I LOVE this. It wasn't confusing to me because after feeling wholly unsatisfied with Ep. 25, I too went online to look up the manga spoilers. No matter who's synopsis I read, the relationship between "Hiyono" or whatever her name really is, and Ayumu is really really SAD...It's by far, the deepest concept in the work of Spiral in my opinion. You caught not only Hiyono's trait of prattling on, which I think is also her personality, and not forced acting, but also that wistfulness of feeling. You've inspired me to write my own Hiyono fic! Thanks.

, I'm not bilingual, but I do know what you're getting at here, and even though I despise straight pairing, AyumuHiyono especially and I'm not a fluff fan, despite my writing so much of it, I did pretty much like this. The idea is nice and even though the format was a little confusing at first, I got the hang of it. Though, it seemed like Hiyono was thinking all that.. was it talking? Still a tad confused about all that.

Even though it was all her, you broke it up with the spaces, which was a nice touch so it wasn't all just lumped together. Also, you kept her pretty in character, though I'm not one to judge as I make most of my characters OOC, and the fact that I'm not a Hiyono fan, so I never paid much attention to her (trust me, it was hard).

My only criticism is that there was very little action (as in none) in the entire chapter. Though, it does work for this piece. I'm figuring since it's well-written enough, that there was a point to only her thoughts and no actions. Now, I've ranted sufficiently and overall, it's nicely done. So, good job.