Your fic is quite unique...very fascinating. Yours is the only one that has huge recap chapter, making my reading much easier by skipping some chapters lol

I loved this story so much!

Go Hisoka he is so cute

haha took me 3 days to finish this because been bit busy but i really enjoyed it :O
uh 34 ch my longest of mine has 8 .
but i'm more the one shot type anyway
good work

Excellence!

The summary intrigued me, so I took a look, and found that the story, itself, was quite interesting. The idea, at least, appears to be well thought out.

The grammar, however, is lacking. I kept hitting the "next" button in hopes that the grammar would improve, but it seems as if it won't, which makes it tough to read.

Some sort of page break or a line between scenes helps with the transitions, and can be inserted into the story via ff.n's editing feature.

For instance, if you have the scene showing Hisoka's home life, then switch over to what Tsuzuki is doing, you would want a line or some sort of transition to show that the scene changed. Even writing "scene change" in parenthesis between the paragraphs will suffice. I'm well aware of ff.n's ability to kill asterisks and some forms of indicating a page break, but that's what their edit feature is for.

There are a lot of spots were the tense is incorrect, as well as some punctuation. For instance, in chapter two, the first sentence in your story is:

"Hisoka walk on and when he and Tatsumi was in the elevator Hisoka placed himself in the corner of the elevator and stayed put."

Rather than "walk", it should be "walked". There should also be a comma in between "on" and the word "and", since "and" is a preposition (a word that links nouns). There also should be a comma between "elevator" and "Hisoka".

When Tatsumi put the file under his arm, there shouldn't be a question mark there, but a period.

There are also some missing letters in various places. All of this is easily remedied by reading it over before you post it (since spell check won't pick up on words like "he" instead of "she", a single letter, or "mad" instead of "made"). It's the same with the grammar issues.

If you're unsure about them, I suggest looking for a beta reader that can help give you suggestions on what needs to be fixed.

The other thing I want to point out is the extremely lengthy "chats" between muses (or your OCs) before the chapter title and at the end of a chapter.

These are annoying, and I scroll down so as not to read them (I'm sure I'm not the only one that does so), since I'm not interested in the antics of muses; I'm interested in the story.

The only thing that really needs to be at the beginning of a chapter is a disclaimer and any warnings for the story (for instance, if it contains sexual content, violence, shounen-ai/yaoi, etc...yes, some people actually click on fics and don't realize that there are boy/boy or girl/girl pairings in them, so a warning in the first chapter covers that).

You don't really need anything at the end of a chapter.

A smaller suggestion is to do research on things before you write them. I know this sounds odd, but fanfiction, and fiction in general, has to have a grain of truth and realism to it. The described times of birth of Hisoka and Hijiri is very confusing; if Hijiri exited the womb first, he's the older brother. If his time of birth was close to midnight, and Hisoka's is past midnight, it just means that their birthdays fall on different days; they're still twins, and Hijiri is still considered the older brother.

Otherwise, very interesting idea; I hope you continue to write and grow more as a writer.

HEY! You finished!

This was such an amazing story. I have loved being able to go one this journey with these characters. You have done a wonderful job! You have helped inspired me to keep writing.

Amazing job once again!

Awww, it's sad that this fic ended, but what a marvelous end :)

I liked how the ending has similarties to the end of the anime. Well the very end was different, but wouldn't it have been wonderful if it did end that way?

Ooooh!

Another wonderful chapter as always!

D W-Wait, that's the last chapter? Noo! I want to read more!

It's always a pleasure to read your stories, and congrats on (possibly?) finishing a story!

Oh ho ho~! Tsuzuki, you pervert! Thinking of doing things to Hisoka! Not that I would stop him. *is a huge TsuzukixHisoka fangirl* I love this story so much so far, onto the next chapter!

*le gasp!* How dramatic! Finally caught up with this fic! *just found it*

I love it, it's really good and I hope you update soon cause now I'm hooked and worried and just update! lol X3

This is a really interesting story! I like the concept a lot, but there are some things that keep distracting me. One thing is the inconsistent tense. It's seriously distracting. Another thing is just the basic grammar/punctuation/spelling (spell check por favor?). Also, the random internal dialogue...I don't get it...it seems to be adding something to the story...but not really. Lastly,the biggest thing that's been confusing me is the location. Where are they? I AM SO CONFUSED! I thought they were in japan...but it doesn't seem like it with all the strictly American things (the names, history, holidays).

I'm not purposely being mean or a grammar nazi or anything. I just thought those things were kinda weird. Anyway, I can't wait to see how it ends!

I think it was helpful to put in a chapter recapping the previous chapters. I do want to go back and reread the fic again though :)

Anway, I enjoyed this chapter and I liked Tsuzuki being such a scatterbrain and Hisoka just being used to that. It was such a cute moment.

i reeeeeaaaally love this story and i'm dying to read more!

You can't just stop there, you need to continue... Pleaaaase TT