I see nothing wrong with your writing skills. If I had one ounce of talent, I would take up on the offer to continue your very well laid out story. Sadly, I have no talent what so ever.
Thank you for the four chapters you wrote,
Ron Pate
Traveler301

I assume that for the purpose of your story that Gump's third law is being ignored for your story. I have no problem with that idea cause this is your story. It just surprised me. I'm having fun reading your story, and agree with you, canon Harry was written to be quite wimpy. I just hope that once he gets to Hogwarts that will keep in mind just who put him with his aunt and uncle and take the appropriate measures to show his feelings to the Head Jackass of that institution of education, his displeasure, (in spades).
Thanks,
Ron Pate
Traveler301

Sad to see this story cut short. Concerning your views on your own skills in world building and dialogue, I think you did very well. It's been my experience that usually the building of the world in the beginning of the story is largely dialogue free save for a few interactions between characters and is mostly told from the perspective of the protagonists thoughts and feelings. I hope you may take up the story again sometime in the future or begin a new one when you have the time. In terms of the story, I liked that you didn't start Harry out as an OP character suddenly able to do everything and kept it realistic (as far as magic goes) in his development and thought processes. Anyway, thanks for writing!

I actually think you did a good job for your first story and hope you give it another try. But if you don't can you let me know who takes this up I really like it and would love to see it continued even if by someone else.

Personally, I think you were doing just fine. Obviously, when there came a time when other people were around to interact with Harry you'd have to use more dialog, but the story is good and the unique perspective of Lilys' thoughts on magical instruction is great, not to mention Harry's getting to learn from his late mother! Maybe you'll rethink your decision not to continue? I'll 'follow' your story just in case.

Nothing wrong with the story. I'm reading it instead of sleeping, which I'll pay for later.

Smutley Do-Wrong all of your ideas are shit please never write fanfiction.

I think you have the potential for a very good story. I would suggest continuing. If you get a beta to help with the parts your uncomfortable with, but your better than you think.

Hey I think you did a amazing job writing this and you should continue writing this. Because to put it bluntly this story shows your a amazing writer and you can only get better

I'm sorry to read that you have given up on this story. It's great! You write well! The story bowls along well, has no holes so far and is unfolding beautifully. I enjoyed it very much - and you coped much better than most near the beginning where you were inevitably covering stuff in the original books but you managed to include your own twist and ideas there too. I wish I could look forward to another instalment from you. Will you reconsider?

if anyone takes you up on your offer, please post a link to them as another chapter. I think you're to hard on yourself though. I liked the story!

thanks for sharing!

Jerry

Coward!

As nobody seem to take it please carry on writing it I was really enjoying reading it even if it didn't have much dialog it didn't really need much and you did find with the dialog between harry and the goblin

Yea right, you didn't finish it and ran away.

know mater what u think i'm still loving the story, don't give up yet.
thx