This is interesting but it is a bit too abstract to follow

ok i dont realy understand why the chapters are in pieces and stuff but anyway good job

confusing at first but good.

Original. It's a good story

it was interesting but didn't make any sense, kinda pointless

oh man you have to update soon. this story is so good, and im not sure if i exactly like you jumping around so much. but somehow it makes sense and the story flows. so please update soon, i really really want to read more! oh, welcome to fave stories!

Hagrid would never give Fang away! anyways please update

FAVES.

I enjoyed this story and the interesting friendships.

Interesting but you seem to be all over the place time line wise. You jump back and forth and from person to person so it's confusing to know what's happening and when.

I must be a fool. i like the consept, but i can't understand the plot.

Hmm, I always liked the concept behind the pilot chapter of Naruto; the pilot itself sucked, but Naruto's background, etc. in it has always intrigued me. I'm not sure what to think of the format you're using to write this. The flow of the writing tends to stagger and your use of parentheses is rather unorthodox. It's like reading someone's notebook, rather than a story. The concept is still plenty interesting, so I'll continue reading.

The story is wonderful and all the scenes have rich language and really great style. The problem is that the presentation and order of the scenes are terribly confusing. It is possible to keep the same style and format of the scenes but reduce confusion by adding in some clarifications here and there. You already have a few clarifications as to what's going on, but what you need is more. We, the readers, are very grateful that you are writing this wonderful story to share with us, but the mutual honoring of the reader-storyteller bond requires that the storyteller be clear so that the listener/reader may fully fulfill his part of taking it in and understanding it.

An interesting take, and very well written! Can't wait for more.

Thank you.