hey! awesome job! & dont worry about length...i dont really worry about how long a chapter is. ;]

anyway...i hope u update soon! :D

Great chapter! Update very VERY soon please!

Some interesting scenes here, certainly good for pushing the story forward, but you still haven't made a compelling enough case to convince me that Rae is not Gary Stu. In fact, that last comment about him inventing something therefore he gets royalties, blah blah blah...only leads to him being even more Stu-ish.

I think you should expand on his family. You introduced his aunt, and made a mention to his mother a chapter back, but then you totally cut them off. Try talking about them, what they did for Rae when he was younger, how they helped him become part-avatar, part-ghost, part-psychic, part-who knows what...but any info given from there is better than leaving the readers in the cold with a Stu.

Again, please don't take offense to what I have to say, but it's really important that a character must be written well, and right now I'm just not too entirely convinced.

Hope it would change, but obviously not. Not good enough to read it to the end. Sorry... There's more adventure in suave descriptions vs. gratuitous action. Sorry

You lost me with the "bedsore thing" . Looks like you're looking for excuses to have the characters get all smoochy vs. having a plot. Sorry, you lost me.

On your author's note: That's OK. I didn't get the joke (don't want to, either!)

Great chapter! Update very VERY soon please!

hey! & YAY! I GOT IT RIGHT! *starts doing victory dance*

o yea...& AWESOME chapter! i hope u update soon! :D

Great chapter! Updtae very VERY soon please!

hey! yet another AWESOME chapter!

i'm gonna take a guess where ur getting the names (besides Rae)...

did u get them from Greek mythology? am i right? was i at least close?

anyway...great job! i hope u update soon! :D

Great chapter! Update very VERY soon please!

woah...interesting! i luved it! i hope u update soon! :D

Great chapter! Update very VERY soon please!

Pretty good story so far. I've always liked Jazz as a character, and is too bad that in canon she gets very little air-time. Kudos to you for being creative and putting her front and center in the spotlight.

But, and I'm not trying to be rude here, I'm having some difficulty with your OC Rae. Although he probably means well, but I feel he's a bit of a "Gary-Stu". I mean, he bends 4 elements, can use cryokinesis, speaks multiple languages, plays and writes his own music, and even gets Sam OOC (admit her feelings for Danny immediately)? I don't know how realistic that would be!

I think what you should do is expand on Rae's background. Earlier you wrote that Rae was going up against a goddess of some sort. Start from there, and progress into how he got his powers, why he's here, how Jazz can help him, etc. The more we know about a character and the more diverse he becomes, the less likely we'll view him as a Stu.

I hope you don't take offense to this, because you really are a good writer, but Rae's character just needs some work. Best of luck to you, I think you will do well.

AH! ANOTHER EVIL CLIFFY! either way...AWESOME JOB! I HOPE U UPDATE SOON! :D